


Much Better Than a Cat

by defendt0pbunk



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Adoption, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Doctor Sam, Domestic, Drinking, F/F, F/M, Fluff, M/M, Mechanic Dean Winchester, Teacher Castiel, Teen Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-24
Updated: 2015-05-30
Packaged: 2018-02-10 06:24:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 41,852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2014461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/defendt0pbunk/pseuds/defendt0pbunk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Carmen leaves, Dean wants to adopt a cat from the animal shelter just outside of town. He suddenly changes his mind when he comes up with a better idea. Sam however; disagrees.<br/>(This fic is postponed until I find inspiration again!)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Agency

**Author's Note:**

> The time has come! Some of you have been blowing up my tumblr asking about this fic
> 
> I was going to complete this entire thing before I ever thought about putting it on here, but i'm running out of room on Google Docs. So I decided that i'm going to post a few of the chapters that I finished a few months back.
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> (This is unbeta'd, so all mistakes are mine)

Carmen left for work one day and didn't come home. That was four months ago. Now, Dean has this big ass house to himself and sometimes it's quiet and lonely. He's tired of calling Sam every time he feels bored out of his mind. He still has cable and internet because the bills and shit are under his name, but he doesn't really watch tv. He's been working late at Bobby's shop and hanging out at the bars a lot more since she left. He just hated to go home to an empty house every night.   
  
Dean was sprawled out on the couch after a long day of work with a beer in one hand and the remote in the other, channel surfing. There wasn't shit on- wait! Was that Doctor Sexy? He went back to the previous channel, Sure enough it was. He grinned and took a drink of his beer kicking his feet up on the coffee table.  
  
"Ah, Dr. Sexy. You're one handsome son of bitch." He said aloud.   
  
He just caught the last minute before the program cut to a commercial. He started to reach for the remote to change it to something else but his beer was empty and he was hungry as well so he got up and padded across the carpeted floor to the kitchen.  
  
"Purina Cat Chow now has six new vitamins and minerals so you can have a healthy cat." He heard the female announcer say.  
  
"A cat." He scoffed to himself as he slapped a few pieces of ham and cheese on bread and grabbed another beer from the fridge. He stood in the kitchen leaning against the island for a minute lost in his thoughts. "I'm lonely as fuck, I could use a friend around the house."  
  
He pulled his phone from his back pocket and Googled the number for the animal shelter that was just out of town. He hit the call button next to the link. It rang twice.  
  
"Douglas County Animal Shelter." He heard a female voice over the line, she must've been about seventeen.  
  
"Hi, uh I was just wondering when your guys' hours were?" He asked as he sipped his beer waiting for a response.  
  
He heard rummaging over the line then what sounded like pages turning, "Monday through Friday, eleven to six, Saturdays, twelve to four, and Sundays we're closed."  
  
"Alright, thank you." He said before he ended the call. He looked at the clock, "Shit!" He cursed. He heard his show come back on and he ran to the couch with his sandwich and his beer. He watched the remainder of his show while wolfing down his food real quick. He didn't move from his seat for a few more minutes after the show ended. He reached for his phone once more but decided it was too late to call a place of business, so he'd just have to wait until morning. He made his way across the floor to the kitchen tossing the empty beer bottles in the trash and headed toward the bedroom.  
  
_Do not. Call that place. You wanna buy a kid? Really? What the hell are you thinking? A kid is not a substitute for a goddamn cat, Winchester. You're gonna find someone in a month or two, then you'll have to take care of both of them._

* * *

 

He shook the thought and rolled over on his side, he'll sleep on it. He was just really lonely right now and it was the only thing he could think of. 

  
It wasn't until two days later, at work that the thought had crossed his mind again. He wanted to talk to Jo or somebody about it but he didn't want anyone criticizing him for making irrational decisions.   
  
Sam invited him over after work. Dean planned to just go home and have a few beers with his brother to talk this shit over, but Jess was making dinner and he was really hungry. So he just rolled with it. His shift ended at 5:30, he didn't bother going home to change his clothes, they weren't that dirty anyway. He arrived across town in Sam's driveway about ten minutes later, he made his way up the sidewalk to the front door and rang the door bell.  
  
He stood there and waited, seconds later the door swung open and his gigantic Sasquatch of a brother was towering over him.  
  
"Hiya, Sammy." He beamed, happy to see his little brother. He stepped inside and shrugged off his coat.    
  
Sam shoved him a little, "It's Sam, jerk." He chuckled.  
  
"Bitch." Dean said quickly before walking down the narrow hall to the kitchen. Jess was in the kitchen stirring a huge pot of something on the stove. "Something smells good." Dean said from the doorway.  
  
She turned around with a smile on her face, "Hi, Dean." She greeted him wiping her hands on her apron then walked over to hug him. "How are you?" She asked.  
  
"I'm good, trying to keep your brother in line as much as possible." She giggled.  
  
"He needs a good ass whoopin' every once in a while." He joked. He pulled out a chair and took a seat at the table.   
  
"Beer?" Jess asked opening the fridge. Dean nodded as Jess gave him a bottle. "Thanks." He said. Sam met them in the kitchen, grabbing a beer from the fridge then taking a seat at the table.  
  
"So why did you call this sudden family meeting?" Sam asked.   
  
"I uh, I've been lonely ever since Carmen left and I was thinking maybe I could, uh, a-adopt a uh, kid... Or a cat." He stammered.  
  
Sam chugged his beer and started choking as soon as Dean finished his sentence. "Dean, a kid? You want to adopt a kid?" He asked, his eyes wide in surprise. Jess turned around and looked at him.  
  
Dean nodded, "Yeah, at least you can talk to a kid.. And they pick up their own messes if you ask them to. So I don't see why not."  
  
"You don't se- Dean, a kid is way different than a cat! If you don't want it, you can't just throw it outside or drop it off on the side of the road."  
  
"I'm not fucking stupid, Sam. I know that. I feel like if I adopt a kid, i'll get them out of the system. Ya know? I just, i'll actually be doing this kid a favor. Kids hating jumping from family to family, hell,we know what it's like, fuckers bounced us all over the state of Kansas, until Bobby and Ellen got us." Dean said nursing his beer.  
  
"A child is a big responsibility to handle Dean, maybe you should think about it some more to see if it's what you really want." Jess said getting up from the table, grabbing a few plates from the cabinet. "Dinner's ready." She dished up spaghetti for the boys, then for herself.  
  
They discussed Dean's situation further over dinner, he drank one more beer and decided to call it a night. He said goodbye to his brother and thanked Jess for dinner and headed out the door to his car. He sat in the driver's seat for a few minutes and thought about the things that were said at Sam's kitchen table. He started the car and drove home in complete silence.

* * *

  
So maybe a kid was totally different from a cat, at least a kid would talk and interact with Dean. Or maybe he was overcompensating the entire thing, and what he really needed was someone to date, but it'd be impossible now to talk him out of it because he's so set on adopting a child. So he might as well roll with it. If he wanted to adopt, he was going to, no matter if someone told him not to. He was a grown man, and he thought he was making the right decision.  
  
The next morning at work, He made the call as soon as he walked into his office. The woman said she'd call him back as soon as she rounded some things up for him. It was just and hour after lunch, Dean was covered in motor oil when the shop phone rang. "Jo, get the phone!" Dean yelled from under the hood of the '63 Ford Mustang he had been working on all week. He was putting in a new carburetor that just came in this morning.  
  
"Singer Auto and Body. This is Jo, how may I help you?" She asked politely. The woman on the other line was asking for Dean. That was weird. She put her on hold, "Yo, Dean! Uh, there's a lady, Melissa? From LifeCare on the phone for you?" She hollered down the hallway toward Dean's open door. She shrugged with a confused look across her face.  
  
Dean jerked his head up so fast he hit it on the hood of the car. What part of "call my cell phone, because my co workers don't know about this" did these fuckers not understand? He grabbed a rag and wiped his hands the best he could and went in the office.   
  
"Hello, this is Dean." He said taking a seat behind his desk.  
  
"Mr. Winchester, it's Melissa from LifeCare. We spoke on the phone this morning about setting up an adoption for you."   
  
"Yes. Hi, Melissa."  
  
"I just wanted to call and talk to you about adoption classes. We have a class coming up next week, on Wednesday's and Thursday's. It is mandatory for you to be there, it's free. It goes from next Wednesday until  April 18, 2014. It is from six to eight. You will have three classes the very last week. So if you work late, I suggest you ask the persons in charge for an early release, if you get off earlier, it shouldn't be a problem." She was going through a stack of papers it sounded like. "Also there are a few more classes after that. One is a safety first class, and a class in preparation for a child to live in your home." She continued.  
  
"Okay, I can ask to get off and hour earlier. I only live a half hour from Ottawa. Shouldn't be much of a problem." He told her.  
  
"After you've completed all the classes we will send someone to Lawrence one day a week for a month to do a home study. You can pick the days that best suit your schedule. You also will be asked to complete a thirty hour training course."   
  
"What is a homestudy? Sorry i've just never done this type of thing before." He chuckled nervously and rubbed the back of his neck.  
  
She chuckled as well, "That's quite alright Mr. Winchester- a homestudy is when we send someone from the agency to your home to inspect and ask you a series of questions about how you would handle the caring of a child."  
  
"Oh, alright."   
  
"After the home study, you will begin to search for a child. If that is too much for you, LifeCare will select a child for you. If you have any further questions i'll leave you with my extension- which is 0512."  
  
"0512." He repeated to himself as he scribbled the number on the Post-It he had in front of him. "Hey, Melissa. Thanks for calling, I really appreciate it."  
  
He could her the smile in her voice, "You're welcome, Dean. I look forward to hearing from you soon. Goodbye." The call ended and dean went back to work for a few more hours.  
  
**Wednesday, 3:45PM**  
  
Dean was thinking about the adoption classes all day, of course they were going to be boring as hell to sit through but he's that much closer to the actual adoption. Everyone at the shop didn't know why he was so happy, they just thought he might've had one too many Red Bulls after he woke up. He walked into the shop with a smile on his face and Bobby looked at him funny.  
  
"Who shit rainbows into your Cheerios this morning, boy?" He scoffed sarcastically.  
  
Dean looked at him and laughed, "Wha- why would you say that?"  
  
"Well you don't normally walked in the door all hyped up. How many 5 Hour Energy's did you have?"   
  
He chuckled again, "None... Bobby i'm fine, okay? Nothing's wrong. Is it illegal for a man to be happy?" He said reassuring him.   
  
"For you, it should be." Bobby joked and rolled his eyes and leaned over the desk a little, You're not doing drugs are you, son?"  
  
"Jesus Christ, Bobby! No, i'm not doing drugs." He shot back, feeling a little insulted.  
  
"You could be, I bet you still have that bottle of Vicodin in the medicine cabinet from when you broke your leg a few months back."   
  
He waved him off and continued to the back of the shop to his office. There was a stack of mail on his desk. He went through that real quick, nothing that was real important. He walked out on the floor and looked over the 1963 Ford Mustang that was sitting in one of the bays. Man it looked good. It needed another wax though, so he had Garth do it. He was going to finish up a shit ton of paperwork because he was just gonna drive straight to Ottawa from the shop so he could make the class on time.   
  
There was a knock on the door. "Come in." Dean called from his desk.  
  
"I have those receipts you were looking for." Jo said, waving them in the air.  
  
"Thanks." He smiled up at her.  
  
"So, Bobby thinks you're on drugs, huh?" She said, making light conversation.  
  
He leaned back his chair, running a hand through his hair, sighing. "Yeah, sorry to disappoint him though."  
  
"You by chance, wouldn't be this happy because a certain phone call you received the other day from an adoption agency, would you?" She asked out of curiosity.  
  
He froze and looked up meeting her gaze. "Christ. No one in this goddamn shop can mind their own damn business."  
  
"Hey. The lady called the shop, not my fault." She said, throwing her hands up in defense.   
  
"Yeah, well I asked her twice to call my cell, so clearly it's hers."   
  
"No, need to get all hostile about it, you act like it's a huge secret that you want to adopt. I think it's great, actually! Some of those kids have been in the foster care system for quite some time and nine times out of ten, one of them is sick of being a product of the state." She explained.   
  
"Thank you! That's what I told Sammy." He said. "He doesn't think those kids want out. And to be honest it's not that I give a fuck that Carmen left, but I have looked for anyone to date since then." He said. He leaned back in his chair spinning a little. "I just want a kid, Jo." He said softly looking at her.  
  
She looked around and didn't speak for a minute, "Not to bring up the past and be an asshole, but you did have that at one point, Dean."   
  
"I was young, Jo. Lisa and I both were sixteen. I don't even know what she decided, I was afraid so I fled. I don't know whether it was a boy or girl, or if she gave it a name. Hell! I don't know if she gave it up or still has it." He told her brokenly.   
  
She grabbed his hand and squeezed it gently. "You're a man now, Dean. If this is what you want. Go for it! No one can stop you. You can take care of a kid, don't be afraid. You would've made a great dad then and you'd probably make a great dad now. Go through with the entire thing." She smiled and got up leaving his office.  
  
"Alright Bobby, i'm headin' out. See ya old man." He said exiting the building waving goodbye to Bobby. He inhaled, then exhaled deeply. Man, was he glad his shift was over. He climbed in the Impala and got right on the interstate.  
  
He walked out of the LifeCare Center a little after nine. He had no clue the classes had been that long. On the way home he debated whether or not to fix dinner and take a shower  because it'd be really late when he'd get home. He was really exhausted so he'd probably just go to bed hungry and smelly. He didn't have to work tomorrow so he could sleep in, take a shower, fuck around, then go to that class.  
  
He put sweats and a shirt on and climbed into bed, he situated the covers and the pillows then laid down. His phone rang on the nightstand, which he currently had his back to. "Fuck!" He roared, reaching for the nightstand feeling blindly for his phone. There it is!  
  
**Message from: J. HARVELLE at 10:21:** _How was your class? :)_  
  
**Message to: J. HARVELLE at 10:22:** _Sleeping Jo... Leave me alone_  
  
He laid his phone on the nightstand again and shut the bedside lamp off, turning on his side trying to fall asleep.

* * *

  
  
He slept until ten, then trudged to the bathroom and jumped in the shower. He was a little more awake than he was before, he dressed in the bedroom: his nice jeans and a button down shirt. In the kitchen he put on a pot of coffee and turned the tv on to the news, the weather was nice, sunny. He imagined taking his kid to the park on days like this when he didn't have to work. Walking a bunch of paths, skipping stones across the creek, playing catch with his boy as the hot summer sun beat down on his back. He smiled at the thought, just a few more months.  
  
Sam wanted Dean to go out to lunch with him and Jess. He met the both of the at Free State Brewing on Massachusetts Street. They took a booth in the corner. Dean on one side, Sam and Jess on the other.   
  
"Boy, don't you look snazzy today, Dean? What's the occasion? Hot date?" Jess teased, light hitting his forearm.  
  
He chuckled, "As much as i'd like it to be, it's not. I actually have an adoption class in Ottawa later."   
  
Sam raised his brow in surprised. "So you're actually gonna do this? Go through with it? You're serious?" He asked.  
  
Dean laughed, "Why are you all the sudden on board with this, Sammy?"  
  
The waitress came a few minutes later and took their order. They talked over beers while waiting on their food.  
  
Sam shrugged, "I don't know, I remember what you went through at sixteen with Lisa, I guess I just had a change of heart." He said with a soft smile.  
  
"Thanks man."  
  
Sam perked up, "Speaking of hearts- do you remember that Cardio Surgeon I work with? Gabriel?" He asked.  
  
Dean nodded.  
  
"He has a brother named Ca-"  
  
"Sam- will you stop playing Match Maker?" Dean commanded. "Everybody thinks i'm a fucking train wreck since Carmen left, and they think I need a crutch."  
  
"Well, you kinda do.." Sam jested.  
  
Dean rolled his eyes, "I don't, okay? I'm fine."  
  
"Says the guy attending adoption classes." Sam adds.  
  
"I'm fine by myself, in that big ass house, all alone. I don't need a relationship right now. I want to get this adoption shit done and over with first." He insisted.  
  
The food arrived a half hour later and the continued talking about Dean's love life.  
  
"At least think about it, Dean." Jess suggested softly, sipping on her iced tea. "If you see Gabriel's brother you'd rethink your answer. He's a handsome guy. He comes to visit Gabriel a lot at the hospital. He's young maybe-" She looked at Sam for an answer.  
  
"23 at least." Sam said looking at Jess, then across the table at Dean. "Anyway, let's talk adoption before Mr. "Too Independent For A Man" has a goddamn conniption fit. Have you bought a bed and stuff yet?"  
  
"No, it's too early, but I can either pick whoever or they'll find one for me." Dean said. "They have like this two way mirror, like you can see in but they can't see out kinda deal. I checked it out yesterday after the class, but there were no kids in the play area."  
  
From the restaurant, Dean took off toward Ottawa. Sure it was a little early, but it would  give him time to walk around and look at shit. He walked in and went straight to the play area where the kids usually were, he hoped they were there this time. He walked through the large hallway and opened the door, looking straight out the two way mirror, no kids.  
  
He sat through the class for an hour and was not looking forward to the half hour drive back home.  
  
When he did arrive home, he chucked his boots off at the door and threw his keys on the island in the kitchen and went straight to the bedroom, taking his shirt and jeans off falling into the abundance of blankets and pillows. He sighed deeply closing his eyes.  
  
**April 17, 2014 5:45 PM**  
  
Dean was sitting at the huge round table in conference room 504. Missouri, the lady who had been in the class before was going over the big ass handbook of all the requirements a home needs before taking on the care of a child. He didn't worry much because him and Carmen had just bought the house he was in a year prior. So it should've met more than half of the requirements. He'd just have to be willing to give up his office in the back of the house, which he could probably deal with, just carry all the stuff to the basement. It had been an hour until Dean came out of the room, time for the safety course. He walked a few doors down and walked in the door. Someone else was teaching this class. It was boring for the most part, fire drills this, CPR that, but he listened anyway because he needed to know the information.  
  
He was finally relieved when the last class was over. Even though he was tired, he walked around a little more, it was late so the kids wouldn't be in the play area. But he walked back in the room and looked through the glass anyway.  
  
It was 9:45 by the time he got on the interstate to go home, he grabbed a bite to eat  from the Burger King just off the highway and ate on the way back. Now that his classes were completed he needed to take another safety class that would certify him in CPR- that was at the hospital in Ottawa. Just a few more months of driving from Lawrence to Ottawa and he'd have a son or a daughter- but he really wanted a son, so he could raise him good like he was supposed to do with Lisa. He got caught up in his thoughts for a minute, thinking what could have been. He'd still be with Lisa and they'd live in a nice house with their son- she didn't even give him a name! He turned the radio on and turned it up so it would pull him out of his thoughts. He gripped the wheel so tight, his knuckles were white.   
  
By the time he got home it was a little past ten. He kicked his sneakers off in the living room and went to his bedroom. It's been his same routine every Wednesday and Thursday for the past month. It really didn't bother him that much, other than the fact he had literally nothing waiting for him when he got home, except this cold vacant bed, which he hated. He thought about the Castle kid Sam mentioned at lunch earlier in the day- wait... That wasn't his name. Casey? Casper? No, fuck! Ju-just fuck it. Go to sleep, Winchester.  
  
**Message from: Char at 8:34AM:** _May I enter your humble abode, your Majesty? I come baring breakfast :P_  
  
As much as he didn't want to get up, he did anyway. He padded barefoot down the hallway and turned the corner and sure enough there was Charlie with a bag of food and two drinks. He turned the deadbolt and opened the door.  
  
"Mornin', sunshine." She smiled cheerfully and stepped inside making her way to the kitchen putting the drink carrier on the counter with the bag of food.  
  
Dean smiled sleepily and followed behind her. "Morning." He said groggily running a hand through his messy hair.  
  
She took a cup from the carrier and handed it to him. "Black." Then proceeded to empty the contents of the bag onto the counter- two sausage, egg, and cheese sandwiches, hash browns, and a biscuits and gravy for Dean, from a little diner just across town. He sat down and sipped his hot coffee and Charlie gave him his food. She too a seat after him.  
  
"So, how's the whole adoption thing going?" She asked, just making light conversation.  
  
He nodded, "Good, good. I'm done with the classes. I just have to be CPR certified then do a home study in a month or two." He really wished the process would move a little faster.  
  
"That's awesome, you think you have what it takes to be a parent, Dean?" She asked jokingly with a smirk.  
  
He opened the wrapper of his sandwich and began eating, "Ya know, I haven't really thought of that. Let's hope so." He finally answered after swallowing. "So what's up with you? Got a girlfriend yet?" He asked wagging his eyebrow.   
  
Charlie laughed, "No, not exactly. But, I am seeing this girl, Anna. You wouldn't believe how cute she is, Dean. Oh my God." She trailed off eating her food.  
  
Dean scoffed shaking his head, "How did you two meet? Wait- she's real, right? You can touch her? She's not pixelated like you're girlfriends usually are?" He joked.  
  
"No, asshole. She's real, we met at the hospital. And just because my girlfriends are usually in different states doesn't mean their fake. Have you even been in an LDR?" She asked rolling her eyes at him.  
  
"No. I don't think I wan- wait. You're dating a mental patient?" He asked, his mouth hanging open in shock.  
  
She threw a hash brown at him. "Stop criticizing my relationships asshole. She's not a goddamned mental patient. She was dropping off lunch for her brother, who happens to to a fucking doctor."  
  
He wadded the sandwich wrapper in a ball and threw it in the paper bag next to Charlie and started on his biscuits and gravy. "Wait, wait, so her brothers a doctor?" He asked out of curiosity. Wait.. But wasn't the kid that Sam was talking about hooking him up with have a brother for a doctor? Surely the girl that Charlie was seeing and the kid Sam was telling him about weren't related. They couldn't be. "What is her brother's name?" He asked looking at her this time.  
  
"Gabe, why?" She asked confused.  
  
"Gabe as in Gabriel? Novak?" He asked seriously this time. "The Cardio doctor?"  
  
She shot him a puzzled look. "Y-Yeah?" She answered slowly, still confused.  
  
"Fuck me runnin'." He muttered to himself then scoffed. He sat there speechless for a minute. Charlie waved her hands and snapped her fingers in his face to get his attention.  
  
"Hello! Earth to Dean!" She snapped her fingers again. "You wanna share with the rest of the class?"  
  
Dean shook his head and managed to bring himself back to reality. "Sam is trying to set me up with his brother.."  
  
"Really! That is so cool! We could do double dates!" Charlie squealed in excitement.  
  
Dean cut her off, "Charlie! I haven't even met the guy yet. I don't know his name, what he looks like. I don't even know if i'd be interested." He said.  
  
"Sam tried to set you up with his little brother? Castiel?" She asked.   
  
He slammed his fist on the tabletop in realization. "Castiel! That's his fucking name! I thought it was Castle or something! Something with C-A-S in it."   
  
The sound made Charlie jump. She just looked at him dumbfounded. "Damn, Winchester. Give a women a heart attack why don't you?" She said sarcastically.  
  
Charlie had gone and Dean headed off to work. Jo greeted him in the lobby. She was behind the front desk filing papers away in the cabinet. "Hey, how'd it go last night?"  
  
"What? The classes?" He asked. She nodded. "Fucking boring, I didn't leave until nine-something. Then Charlie woke my ass up, banging on my front door with breakfast."  
  
"So how long until you can have a kid walking around your house?" She asked.  
  
"Not for a few months, maybe three or four at the most." He said tapping on the countertop before going to the garage. Benny was underneath an old beat up Chevy doing God know what to it."  
  
"Ragin' Cajun!" Dean yelled excitedly kicking Benny's leg a little.   
  
"If I had a dollar for every time I heard that, i'd be swimming in cash." He said loudly over the stereo that was currently playing on some classic rock station.  
  
"You're from the South. man. You're bound to hear shit like that from people all the time."  
  
Benny laughed and went on about his business. Dean's phone rang, he pulled it from his pocket as he stepped into his office and shut the door behind him.  
  
**Message from: Sasquatch at 10:23 AM:** _So someone tells me you're interested in Dr. Novak's little brother?_  
  
Dean groaned, "Goddammit, Charlie."  
  
**Message to: Sasquatch at 10:26 AM:** _I know who told you, and so what? Maybe I am._


	2. Homestudy

**Thursday, May 1, 2014:** First Homestudy  
  
He lost count on how many times he's vacuumed already, he's bleached the kitchen and the bathroom, twice and even waxed the hardwood in the hallway and now he's wearing clean socks around the house because what if they see footprints on the floor and think it's not a fitted living environment for a child? The whole thing was making him paranoid.  
  
Melissa was coming to Dean's house with someone to conduct a home study. He asked Jess a few days before if she could make a pie for him before his guests had arrived, she complied. Now the pie was sitting on the island as Dean did a last minute wipe down of the counters in the kitchen and the coffee table in the living room. His palms were clammy and he had beads of sweat on his hairline. He heard a car pull in the driveway and looked out the kitchen window.  
  
"Fuck!" He cursed in a hushed tone, as if the pair exiting the car outside could hear him through the walls if he spoke any louder.  
  
There was a knock at the door. His breath hitched and he froze for a brief moment, then proceeded to answer it.   
  
He took a deep breath and exhaled before he opened the door.   
  
"Dean! It's nice to see you again." The woman said cheerfully.  
  
"Good to see you too, Melissa. Come on in." He said politely with a wave. The two of them filed in and he closed the door.  
  
"Dean," She gestured to the man in the black suit standing next to her. "This is Gordon, he will be asking you a series of questions during this visit."   
  
"Um, is there any paperwork I need to look over? If not we could have a seat in the livingroom." He moved across the kitchen to the fridge and looked at the two of them? "Would you like a drink, or maybe a slice of pie before we get started?"  
  
Gordon raised and shook a thick white packet and Dean's eyes widened in surprise.   
  
He circled the island and opened the cabinet above the sink and got out two glasses and two small saucers. He poured lemonade from a pitcher that was sitting on the counter then dished up two sliced of pie, one for each of his guests. He was too nervous to eat at the moment, he would get a slice and enjoy it slowly after they had gone.  
  
He sat their plates and glasses in front of them and took a seat opposite of them. Melissa slid the packet in front of Dean and he eyed it. Home Study Guidelines, it had read with a bunch of footnotes and other information on the front page as well.  
  
"These are the homestudy guidelines used for adoptions and people who are looking into starting foster care. The guidelines are the same throughout the entire country." Melissa stated with a warm smile.  
  
Dean nodded and opened the packet and skimmed through the questions. He froze as he saw an entire section pertaining to parents. Both his mother and father had died in a house fire when he was a kid. A wave of guilt suddenly rushed over him as he thought of the child that was going to be in his care was going to grow up without any grandparents. Then he had thought of Bobby and Ellen and shrugged- they were grandparent-y enough he thought.  
  
"Mr. Winchester?" Gordon asked waiting for Dean to respond. Dean shook his head a little to bring himself out of his thoughts. "Are you ready to begin?" Gordon asked.  
  
"Sorry. Yeah, go ahead."

* * *

  
It must've been an hour and a half before they had finished the homestudy. Dean showed them to the door and the were in the black Sudan on their way back to the agency.  
  
It went better than Dean had expected. The questions were relatively easy. He though they were going to be questions like, are you currently running a underground slave labor business than involves minors? But it wasn't. It was just questions bout how he would care for a child and the house, which both Gordon and Melissa said was lovely. But there was a small detail that he may have lied about, and Gordon had listed it in his narrative for the agency when he wrote down all of dean's relationships he may have told him that Castiel Novak was his boyfriend.  
  
 **Message from: Sasquatch at 1:43 PM:** _yOU DID WHAT?_  
  
 **Message to: Sasquatch at 1:44 PM:** _I may have told them that your little doctor friend's twink brother was my boyfriend ha..._  
  
Minutes later there was a knock at the door and whoever was behind it sounded like they were ready to bust it down. He opened it and as he guessed, it was indeed his gigantic little brother.  
  
"We need to talk about Castiel." Sam said seriously as he shut the door.   
  
At the kitchen table they sat with a few beers, Dean lounged back as Sammy lectured him.  
  
"I know you're looking at this as a minor situation but, you don't even know Castiel yet! Why on earth would he take responsibility for a kid when's just a kid himself?"  
  
"It's not that big of a deal. And besides what if when we meet we decide to start seeing each other more often?" He says getting up and walking three steps to the fridge to get more beers. He shrugs and makes his way back to the table. "And I don't know. Maybe he's down with it. I have to do three more home studies, which is going to take like two months, at least and after the homestudies I won't start looking for a kid for almost four months. So that's six months so far of being acquainted with the kid and who knows, maybe he's the clingy type. Maybe," He paused and chuckled to himself as a smile formed on his lips. "Maybe he'll be so infatuated with me that he won't even care that there's a kid in my life. He'll just accept it and we'll be happy."  
  
Sam snorted at his fantasy, "Calm down, Romeo. If you're that serious I can talk to Gabe and we can set something up. So we can get the ball rolling. But just so we're clear and I need verbal confirmation, just incase your plan backfires. You're not going to date him just because you told the agency that he was your boyfriend?"  
  
Dean shook his head, "Absolutely not, I told you the other day that I was interested, and that was before I filled out the paperwork."  
  
"Alright. We'll I'll mention something to Gabriel. Do you get off early this week or no?" Sam asked raising an eyebrow.  
  
"I can. It shouldn't be a problem, and if you fuckers are setting up a date, don't make it a movie just yet. I have to see if I like him first before he hides his face in my jacket from the scary scenes and I have to be willing to put my arm around him for comfort I just don't want it to be awkward." Sam thought he was done with his rambling but Dean cut him off again- "Oh! The kid's not a fucking scrawny wimp, is he? I can't stand kids with pocket protectors and suspenders that get shoved into lockers on a daily basis."  
  
Sam let out a loud chuckle. It startled Dean and made him jump. He hit his knee on the table. He winced and rubbed it, shooting an evil glare at Sam. "He doesn't have a pocket protector or suspends, asshole. Actually he's about the same size as you, maybe just a few inches shorter. I'd say," He shrugged and guesstimated. "About 5'10" roughly."  
  
By the look on Dean's face, he seemed impressed. It made Sam smile.

* * *

  
Sam was at the hospital standing at the front desk in the west wing talking to Gabriel about their brothers.  
  
"So Deano finally caved, huh? What you do Sam, bribe him?" Gabriel said with a chuckle. "I know he didn't think of dating Cassie himself." He said in disbelief.   
  
Sam laughed and shook his head. "Actually, Jess talked him into it, so did Charlie because she's dating your little sister."  
  
Gabriel looked at Sam in surprise. "That's right!" He said, knocking the back of his hand against Sam's chest. "I forgot Dean was friends with Charlie."  
  
"So anyway, about Castiel? The Burger Stand? Thursday, 7:00? Dean loves that place." Sam mention with a smile.  
  
"Yeah. Sounds great, i'll let Cassie know."  
  
Gabriel said goodbye then sauntered off to do his morning rounds with his group of interns that were selected for him.  
  
Thursday arrived faster than Dean had hoped. Sam told him to look nice and not like he just walked out of an auto repair shop. He wore his purple flannel and one of the two good pairs of jeans he owned. His hair was spiked with that J. Crew styling gel that he's used for years-he loves that stuff, and Sam was glad he didn't out do himself on his cologne like he usually does.    
  
It was only five something and Dean thought he might as well go meet this kid and get acquainted with him so there wasn't going to be any awkward silences over dinner later.   
  
Sam rode with Dean to Gabriel's house to hang out for a little bit while Dean went for dinner with Castiel.   
  
Sam rang the doorbell and Gabriel answered. "Hey man, come on in." He said waving them in and shutting the door behind the two of them. "Castiel will be down in a few, Dean. Hang tight. You guys want a beer?" He asked politely, walking to the kitchen.  
  
"No thanks, I don't want to be drunk at dinner." Dean told him.  
  
Sam perked up, "I'll have one."   
  
The three of them took a seat at the dining room table and talked for a few minutes. Dean couldn't sit still because his nerves got the best of him. What was taking him so long to come down? Dean wanted to see what he looked like.  
  
Gabriel's eyes shot up. "Finally decided to come down, huh?" He joked with a smile.  
  
Dean turned around in his seat and glanced up at him. Oh no! He's attractive! "Hey," He greeted him with a smirk.  
  
Castiel blushed slightly and returned a toothy smile. "Hello."   
  
 _Wow! His teeth are pretty. Jesus Christ_ , and his eyes were bluer than anything Dean had ever seen. He couldn't compare them to the ocean because that was to fucking cliché. He couldn't compare them to the sky either. Shit, he couldn't describe his eyes. Ah! They were bluer than that vase sitting on the end table in the living room. Or as blue as glacial lakes in the Arctic? Fuck it. He had really nice eyes.   
  
Dean stood and extended his hand. "I'm Dean nice to meet you. You got a name, handsome?" Dean already knew his name, he just needed a reason to flirt with him.  
  
"Castiel." He blushed again, trying to hide his face.  
  
"Well Cas, I hope you like burgers cause that's what we're having for dinner."  
  
"Speaking of dinner, shouldn't you guys be leaving soon? It's almost seven." Sam suggested, taking a quick chug of his beer.  
  
"Right." Dean agreed as he started for the front door, Castiel following suit.  
  
"Have fun kids, be safe." Gabriel called from the other room.  
  
Castiel groaned, "He's so embarrassing, Jesus."  
  
"Ah, it's alright." Dean shrugged with a chuckle. "I do the same thing to Sammy."   
  
The two of them arrived at The Burger Stand and took a booth seat. Dean on one side, Castiel on the other.   
  
"Have you ever been here before?" Castiel asked.  
  
"Oh yeah! This place is great. Good people, great food, awesome beer." Dean said reassuringly.  
  
"I've lived here for almost three years and i've never heard of the place.."   
  
Dean pulled two menus from the rack by the window. "Let's take a look and see if we find anything good." Castiel took one and opened it up.  
  
"The uh, Classical is pretty good. Except it's got leafy vegetables.. I'm not a huge fan of rabbit food though." He said with a smile.  
  
Castiel chuckled to himself, "I can see that." He said with a wink.  
  
Dean inhaled deeply. _I thought Gabriel said Cas was uncomfortable around people he didn't know? Well he's dead wrong._  
  
"Um. What's the Garbo Burger?" He asked Dean, looking at him confused.  
  
"It's uh.." He trailed off as Tracy approached their table.  
  
"Hey Dean, and Dean's boyfriend?" She smiled and Dean watched Castiel's eyes widen in embarrassment.  
  
"Date. Cas is- h-he's my date, Tracy." He corrected her quickly.   
  
She gasped and giggled at her mistake. "Oh my goodness! I'm sorry, handsome. I haven't seen Dean in here for awhile, and all the sudden he's here with you and I just assumed." She smiled. "What can I start you guys off to drink with?" She asked looking at Dean.  
  
"I'll have a Guinness."  
  
Her eyes then shot over to Castiel, who was eyeing the menu for drink options. "I'll have a Coke."  
  
She scribbled on her pad of paper and looked up at them again, "Do you guys know what you want to order? Or do you need a minute?"  
  
"I know what I want, but Cas has never been here before so he needs a little guidance." Castiel looked up from the menu and saw Dean smirk. It made him chuckle.  
  
"What do you suggest, Tracy? Since I obviously need some guidance." He shot Dean a smile.  
  
"Well," She paused for a minute. "I love the Barnyard Bash, it's personally my favorite. It's got swiss cheese, avocado, applewood smoked bacon and our spicy honey barbecue sauce. It's only served at our Lawrence location." She said with a smile.  
  
"The beer batter onion rings are good too." Dean cut in.  
  
"I think i'll have that." Cas said. "With the onion rings."  
  
"And for you, Winchester?" She said jotting down Cas' order.   
  
"I'll have The Smoke Burger and the Bourbon Bacon Cheese Fries." He said closing the menu handing it to Tracy.  
  
"Alrighty, i'll be back shortly with your drinks, fellas." She scampered off.  
  
Forty five minutes later, their dinner came out and they somehow got on the topic of cats. Which made Dean think about the other homestudies he had with the agency.  
  
"I'm allergic to dog hair, so cats are more my thing." Castiel mentioned before taking a bite out of his burger.  
  
"Really?" Dean stared at him in amazement. A smile crept to the edge of his lips. "I've never heard of someone being allergic to dogs before."   
  
"Yeah, I just recently found it out." Castiel said.  
  
It was going on almost nine, they were cleared of there dinner mess and sat talking for a few more minutes before they headed out. Dean found Castiel to be quite interesting, even if it was about stuff he didn't really care for. He would definitely be seeing more of him.  
  
They got back to Gabriel's and said goodbye and Dean managed to slip Gabriel his number to give to his brother. After that they had left.  
  
"How'd it go?" Sam asked driving back to Dean's to drop him off.  
  
"Surprisingly well, actually. But he got embarrassed when Tracy thought he was my boyfriend. I like him." He said honestly.  
  
"That's good to hear, I knew you'd like him." Sam said pulling into the driveway.  
  
Dean got out and walked up to his front door unlocking the deadbolt. When he got inside the house he kicked off his shoes and went straight to his bedroom.   
  
It's the first date and he already has butterflies. He climbed into bed and grinned so wide it almost split his pretty face. Yeah, he was going to definitely see Cas again.  
  
His phone rang and that brought him out of his thoughts. He grabbed it from the nightstand- speak of the devil.  
  
 **Message from: Unknown Number at 9:51PM:** _That was real slick slipping Gabe your number like that ;)_  
  
 _For fuck sake! I'm not gonna spend day and night texting him, am I? Don't care, he's cute._  
  
 **Message to: Unknown Number at 9:53PM:** _I know haha_  
  
 **Message from: Unknown Number at 9:56PM:** _That's alright, at least you have it now :) i'd like to see you again, Dean. I hope you don't mind._  
  
Dean saved Castiel's number to his phone after he received his message. Then scrolled through his contacts to the C's. He was going to put an emoji by his name but he thought he'd get too much shit about it from Sammy. So he didn't  
  
Dean froze when he pulled up his messages. Shit, he wants to see me again? Why? It's too soon. Should I wait a week or two? I should probably wait a week. What if we rush into shit too fast? Oh god, I wonder if he's the type of person to rush things.. That's how all my relationships in the past have ended, because I rushed too quickly. I hope that he doesn't mind clingy people. I'm not clingy, am I? I mean I do want to see him again as well. Fuck it. Go big or go home, right?  
  
 **Message to:Cas at 10:01PM:** _Oh no, it's fine. I'd really like that. You just name the time and place :)_  
  
 **Message from:Cas at 10:06PM:** _Aimee's, Friday, 5:30 sound good?_  
  
 **Message to:Cas at 10:07PM:** _Yeah sounds good. See ya then, Cas._  
  
He put his phone on the nightstand and got comfortable under his blankets and went to sleep. 

* * *

  
"It's just coffee, Sam. We're not going on a date this time." Dean said, explaining himself for the umpteenth time.   
  
Sam let out a heavy laugh, "If it's "just coffee" the two of you are getting, then i'm Mary fucking Poppins." He said sarcastically, following behind Dean with his arms full of groceries, setting them on the island in the kitchen. "You don't just "go out for coffee" with another guy. Unless that guy is your dad, and the two of you are catching up with the things you missed the past few years since you left home."  
  
Dean rolled his eyes. "Joke all you want, Sammy. It's just coffee."  
  
"Mhmm." He said with a smirk, as he helped Dean put his groceries away. "So when's your next meeting thing with that adoption agency?"  
  
"This Thursday." Dean said around a mouthful of peanut M &M's.  
  
"You have it once a week for a month? Why the hell for? They afraid you're gonna change your mind or something?"   
  
"Protocol, Sammy." He smiled softly. "And i'm not changing my mind. They just want to be certain that i'm not a serial killer or rapist strung out on narcotics."  
  
"Okay." Sam responded politely leaning with his elbows on the island. "Well i'm gonna head home, Jess has dinner on the stove." He told Dean, slapping the counter as he backed away looking at his brother.  
  
"Okay, man. Thanks for helping me with groceries and shit." Dean said as he finished putting the rest of the stuff in the fridge.  
  
He heard the turn of Sam's engine, indicating the he had already gotten in his car. He finished up in the kitchen wiping the counters down then made his way to the couch, plopping down with a heavy sigh. He grabbed the remote and turned the tv on. The bright colors lit up the dark room, nearly blinding him. He flipped through the channels trying to find something to watch for the next thirty minutes before he called it a night and went to bed. Scooby-Doo. He hesitated for a minute reaching for the remote, then decided he might as well get used to it since he'll be watching a lot of cartoons in the future.  
  
It was almost eleven when he climbed into bed. He thought about texting Castiel, but he might of already been asleep. So he'd wait to talk to him until after his meeting.  
  
He had almost forgotten that his Homestudy was at LifeCare later that morning because he woke up freaking out because he had forgot to clean up last night. He checked his calendar to make sure.  
  
 **May 8, 2014**  
 **• LifeCare Homestudy**  
 **10:00 AM**  
 **Ottawa, Kansas**  
  
His heart rate slowed a little and he exhaled slowly. Besides it was only 7:30, he didn't have to leave for a few hours. So he put on a pot of coffee and made bacon and eggs before he started getting ready to leave.  
  
He jumped in the shower shortly after finishing breakfast. He wore his black pants, the pair without holes, and a red button down shirt that Charlie had gotten him as a Christmas gift last year. He sat on the bed and laced up his boots then looked in the mirror ruffling his hair a bit.  
  
He checked his phone, it was a little after 8:30. He figured he'd better get going. He flicked off all the lights as he made his way to the door, he locked it and pulled it shut securely behind him. He made his way off the porch and into the drive to his Impala.  
  
He made it to Ottawa an hour later, he walked through the double doors at 9:45 and told the receptionist he was there for an appointment with Gordon Walker and Melissa Taft.   
  
The receptionist, Sarah, her name tag read lead him to an office which must've been Melissa's. He took a seat in of her desk. They went through the file from the first home study and check to see if any information had changed or stayed the same. Then Gordon made his way in and took a seat next to Dean. "Are you excited to be almost done with your home studies, Mr. Winchester?"  
  
A smile pulled at the corners of Dean's mouth and he nodded looking over at the man. "Yes!" He chuckled.  
  
"That's good to hear, you're already one step closer to having a child, now that i'm here, let's get started." Gordon suggested with a polite smile.

* * *

  
Dean finished his homestudy around 1:30 but didn't get home until around 2. He thought since he'd showered this morning he didn't have to worry about it for his date with Cast- wait! What? It's just coffee, not a date. He didn't have to worry about changing to go out for coffee with Castiel, he thought he looked casual enough.  
  
 **Message to:Cas at 5:14PM:** _You wouldn't mind if I came to pick you up, would you?_  
  
 **Message from:Cas at 5:18PM:** _Oh no! You could pick me up if you'd like. It's no problem at all._  
  
Dean put his phone in his lap and backed out of his driveway heading to Castiel's to pick him up. He was across town a few minutes later knocking on the door. It swung up and Gabriel was standing in front of him. "Ah Dean! What happened? Forget your flannel here last week?"  
  
"No." He looked up at the other man. "We're going for coffee, I offered to pick him up." He explained.  
  
Gabriel chuckled and nodded turning around, "Yeah, right." He said walking toward the stairs. "Castiel, the beautiful green eyed man is here to pick you up for your date- I mean your coffee!" He hollered up the steps.  
  
Castiel practically ran down the stairs and peered up as soon as he reached the bottom. He blushed as soon as Dean caught his eye. "It's just coffee, Gabe. Chill out." He told him.  
  
Gabriel was now seated on the couch and glanced back at Castiel. "Alright," he said glancing back and forth between Dean and Castiel, "you keep telling yourselves that, guys."   
  
Dean put his hand on Castiel's shoulder and lead him out the door, "ready?" He asked. Castiel nodded and stepped on to the porch.  
  
Dean pulled the door shut and just before it clicked Gabriel look over his shoulder and smirked, "coffee my ass, Winchester." Dean just gave him a smile.  
  
Dean parked the car a few feet from the shop. The two of the got out of the car and headed toward Aimee's coffee shop. "So Sam works with Gabriel? Is that how all this started?" He asked with a blush.  
  
Dean laughed and nodded. "Yeah, Sammy's a head doctor.. Like the doctor that works with the brain and stuff..."  
  
"A Neurosergeon?" Castiel asked.  
  
"Yeah, yeah that." He said with a chuckled. "He uh, told me to start dating again, because i've been out of it and he mentioned that Gabriel had a little brother, then come to find out that Charlie is dating Anna. So I was like 'what the hell' and here we are." He smiled and opened the door for Castiel following in after him.  
  
They setted up to the counter and Dean ordered a coffee, black and Castiel ordered a caramel latte.  
  
They sat at a table in the back of the room. "Wait, so Anna is dating this Charlie girl?" Castiel asked sitting his latte down and took a seat across from Dean at the small table. "I had no clue.."   
  
"Yeah," Dean laughed. "She is, I didn't know until she told me a few days ago. So I mentioned Gabriel and you somehow came up. Then she said the four of us could double date."  
  
Castiel's eyes widened and he chuckled trying not to sound nervous. He sipped his latte, "so Dean...what do you do for a living?"  
  
Dean was in the middle of taking a drink of his coffee, he cleared his throat before answering. "Oh, i'm uh, i'm a mechanic...down at uh, Singer's. What about you?" He asked as he slid back in his chair looking at Castiel.  
  
"I'm a teacher." He said bashfully. Dean's eyes widened in amazement.   
  
"Wow," he smiled. "You're so young though."  
  
"Oh i'm still in school, I go to the middle school and teach in the mornings, plus it's much easier to say i'm a teacher instead of I'm going to KU to become a teacher."  
  
Dean chuckled and went to sip his coffee and realized it was gone. Did he drink it that fast? It was scalding hot. "Do you like kids?" He asked curiously. It just came out it, although if it would be nice to know if this thing between them progressed into something more serious.  
  
"Yes," He said happily with a nod. "Any age, but mostly ages two to eleven. They fascinate me for some reason, I enjoy working with them too."  
  
Dean turned his head so Castiel couldn't see him grin. "Do you like kids as well, Dean?" Castiel asked to get his attention.  
  
"Yeah," he told him with a smile. "I want a child of my own someday."  
  
They sat at the coffee shop for almost an hour and a half talking about different things from kids to sports. It was getting dark so Dean walked out after Castiel and they got in the car.   
  
"I had a really nice time." Castiel said glancing over at Dean.  
  
Dean smiled, "so did I."   
  
"I'd like do that again sometime. Are you free next week?"   
  
Dean nodded as he pulled up to Castiel's house, "will Wednesday work? I don't have work, but I have meeting on Thursday and a class on Friday." He turned the engine off and sat there for a minute with him.  
  
"Okay, text or call me when you figure out where you want to go." Castiel smiled at him and got out. "Goodnight Dean." He waved and started toward his house. "Thanks for the coffee."  
  
Dean waved back, "you're welcome. goodnight, Cas."  
  
As soon as Dean was inside his house he kicked off his boots and pulled his phone out of his pocket and dialed Castiel's number. He walked in the bedroom and undressed and pressed 'send', the phone rang twice.  
  
"Hello?"   
  
Dean put him on speaker and laid his phone on the dresser and started to wiggle from his jeans then he shed his flannel and his T shirt. "Hey Cas, it's Dean."  
  
"Hey, what's up?"  
  
"So this is so cliche on so many levels but, I was thinking maybe we could see a movie." He waited for an answer while rummaging through his dresser for a pair of sweatpants and shirt. "But it's cool if you don't wanna-"  
  
"No, no! What movie were you thinking? I'd love to see a movie. It's not cliche at all." Castiel tried to tell him.  
  
Dean hopped into his sweatpants and pulled his worn out high school wrestling shirt over his head. _Wow! This still fucking fits? Holy shit!_ "How about Neighbors?" It comes out tomorrow, we'll see Wednesday if you'd like..or if you'd like we could go after my meeting on Friday. It's in Ottawa so I should get home in an hour and then we'll go, i'll pick you up."  
  
"We could still do something on Wednesday, still if you want..." Castiel told him, hoping he was still wanting to do something that day. "Gabe is having a cookout, you wanna come over? There's beer!" He sing-songed.  
  
"I'm in!" Dean said with a laugh.  
  
Castiel nodded and chuckled, "okay, i'll tell Gabe. I'll call you and let you know."  
  
"Okay, sounds great! So cookout on Wednesday and movies on Friday?" Dean asked just to reassure himself.  
  
"Correct."  
  
"Alright, see you soon. Goodnight, Cas."  
  
"Goodnight, Dean."  
  
Dean smiled and walked across the floor and climbed in bed. _Why do I have butterflies? We've only been on two dates, it's only been a week. I'm gettin' it bad, man._

* * *

**Wednesday, May 14, 2014**

  
Dean pulled up at Cas' house and killed the engine, climbing out. He knocked and Anna answered the door. "Hi, Dean." She greeted him with a smile. "Castiel is in the back." She waved a hand and invited him in. They walked through the house, she stopped at the fridge. "Would you like a beer? We're a Bud Light family," she giggled. "So if you drink something else, you're shit outta luck, honey."  Dean nodded and she chucked a beer at him. He caught it quickly and they made their way to the back door going to the backyard.  
  
Dean saw Castiel sitting at the picnic table laughing with a girl, whose name he didn't know. He walked across the yard and snuck up behind him and covered his eyes after he sat his beer down. "Guess who?" He said with a grin.  
  
Castiel held Dean's arms and turned around with a smile. "Dean! You made it." He hugged him over the table.   
  
Dean nodded, "yeah, I hope i'm not to early or anything."   
  
Castiel shook his and scoffed. "Of course not! Perfect timing. Gabriel just put the burgers and stuff on the grill." He smiled back at Dean. Castiel patted the top of the table telling Dean to come sit by him.  
  
He slid on the table next to Castiel and smiled at him. "I'm glad you came, Dean." Castiel said looking at Dean for a few seconds.  
  
Dean nodded and smiled, trying to hold back his blush. Man, those fucking eyes are gonna kill me. I swear they will. Jesus christ their so blue! I want to fucking kiss him. "So am I. Thanks for inviting me."   
  
The hotdogs and hamburgers were finished and Gabriel called everyone in the kitchen to get a plate. Dean walked out back with a plate piled high with food. Castiel's eyes widened in amazement and he let out a laugh, "wow."  
  
"Leave the man alone, Castiel." Charlie swatted his arm. "He loves his food."  
  
Dean bit into his cheeseburger and moaned around it, "Cas... What does Gabriel put in these? Their amazing!" He complimented with his mouth full.  
  
Castiel laughed shoveled food in his mouth. "Just Montreal Steak seasoning and something else." He shrugged.  
  
Dean finished his food and got up to go to the kitchen. "Cas," Dean pulled on Castiel's hoodie to get his attention. He had been sitting in Dean's lap by the fire pit for about an hour. "You want another beer?" He whispered close to his ear so he could hear.  
  
"One more, then i'm done. I have to teach in the morning." He reminded Dean. Dean patted his leg to let him get up. He went to the kitchen and grabbed two beers and brought them out to Castiel, who was currently slumped over in the lawn chair. He handed Castiel his beer and he jumped up out of the chair and let Dean sit down and Castiel sat right back in his lap.  
  
"Easy, Teach." Dean teased with a smirk. "Wouldn't want you going to school with a hangover."  
  
He scoffed and turned his head to look at Dean. "Don't you have a meeting or something tomorrow?" Dean looked at him in awe. Castiel grinned, "ah, yeah. That's what I thought. This is your last one as well." Holy shit he'd totally forgotten about his home study in the morning. "Are you okay enough to drive?" He asked loud enough so that Dean could hear him over the crackling of the fire.  
  
"I should be. Who the fuck has a cookout with alcohol in the middle of the fucking work week?" Dean asked sarcastically.  
  
Castiel huffed out a laugh before taking a quick swig of his beer, swallowed harshly. "Apparently Gabriel Novak does, and he's a fucking suergeon! He can't get drunk when he's on call."  
  
"But I can!" Dean said proudly with a laugh.  
  
Twenty minutes later Dean yawned and Castiel heard him and turned around, "you alright back there?"  
  
Dean nodded mid yawn, "I think i'm gonna call it a night." Castiel looked back at him and gently ran his fingertips over Dean's arm. He tried not to freeze, so he just sat there for a minute.  
  
Castiel stood in front of him and waited as Dean got up. "Come on, handsome. I'll walk you out." He told Dean and they headed slowly toward the back gate.  
  
Castiel stood on the side walk and Dean leaned against his car with his hands in his pockets. "I have fun, Cas. Thanks again for inviting me."   
  
"No problem, good lookin'." Castiel said with a wink. Dean pushed off the back of his car and walked toward him pulling him into a hug.   
  
Dean didn't let go of him for a few seconds. He tried not to bury his face into his thick dark hair, but he couldn't resist. He took a few deep breaths to try to pinpoint what shampoo he used. It smelled like vanilla and some kind of flower. It was nice and Dean didn't want to let go but he had to get up early in the morning. Castiel pulled away first, rubbing his thumb across Dean's cheek giving him a half smile. "Please call me so I know that you got home safetly."  
  
Dean backed up slowly, stumbling into the back on the Impala almost making him fall flat on his ass."Yes sir!" He saluted him begore climbing in the car.  
  
"Goodnight Dean." Castiel said softly, lightly drumming his fingers on the roof of the car.  
  
"Night, Castiel." Dean replied with a smile. Castiel pushed off the car so Dean could pull away.  
  
Dean walked through his front door and kicked his boots off and laid his keys and his phone on the end table. He shrugged out of his flannel and ran a hand through his gel-dried hair making his way to the kitchen. He only had three beers at Castiel's and that's pretty good for him on a week day. He got himself a glass of water and gulped it down real quick. He had almost forgotten to call Castiel, so he ran to the livingroom to get his phone.  
  
 **Message to: Cas at 10:36PM:** _Not dead._  
  
 **Message from: Cas at 10:43PM:** _Good! Otherwise you wouldn't be texting me right now._  
  
Dean shed his jeans and climbed in bed and collapsed against his pillows and let out a sigh of relief.

* * *

  
 **Thursday, May 15, 2014**  
  
Dean rolled out of bed and hopped right in the shower. He didn't waste any time getting ready, it was already 8:30 when he got out and he had to be on the highway in ten minutes. He didn't have time to grab breakfast, so he just ran out of the house. At least he remembered to lock the door on his way out.  
  
He walked in the doors at 9:57, perfect timing! Melissa had alreadly been waiting for him at the front desk. "Sorry," he said apologetically. "I woke up a little late."   
  
Melissa started toward her office and Dean followed. She smiled back at him, "well, you're not completely late, Mr. Winchester." She glanced at her watch, "we don't offically start until you've arrived and your opointment is at 10:00. So no worries."  They stepped into her office and he closed the door behind him.  
  
"Hello, Mr. Winchester. It's a pleasure to see you again." Gordon extended his hand. Dean took his hand and smiled giving him a firm hand shake. He took a seat in the middle of Missouri and Gordon.  
  
Not too long after Dean was signing a few dotted lines. "I have a question before we finish.." He started.  
  
Melissa peered up, "yes?"   
  
"My last homstudy is next Thursday. I was just wondering how long will it take for a child to be placed with me?"  
  
Melissa glanced at Gordon for an answer. "Well," he began. "Normally you would begin the search for a child 120 days after your last homestudy. So, four months." Dean nodded, indicateing that he understood.   
  
"So do we keep in contact over the next four months? Or do I just wait?" He said with a small chuckle. "Because I don't think I can handle the next four months. I'm so excited I can hardly stand it."  
  
Gordon stepped out because he had another homestudy with another family and Missouri stepped outto give them some privacy. "Dean?" Melissa asked as Dean started to stand up.  
  
"Yes?" He replied looking at her.  
  
"I'm sorry if this is a personal question and you're not obligated to answer if you don't want. My curiousity is just getting the best of me. Why did you decide to adopt?" She said politely as possible.  
  
"Well," Dean said sitting back in the seat. "When I was in high school, I dated this girl." He suddenly felt a lump in his throat, but he swallowed it down. "We were 16 and she had gotten pregnant, we were young so we weren't financially stable enough to raise a bwby together. So she gave it up for adoption and y'know I sit down sometimes and I think y'know what if we would've raised our kid together? She didn't name the baby..and I think about it more than I should and I would like it give it another try."  
  
"You're well on your way to becoming a parent, Dean." She explained with a smile. "Come on, i'll walk you out." She smiled and opened the door and Dean walked out.  
  
"Hey, Melissa?" Dean asked.   
  
She turned her head to look at him.  
  
"Do the kids ever play in the area with the two way mirror? I go passed it everytime i'm here and I never see them."   
  
"They go outside sometimes. Their play times vary from day to day. That door-" she said pointing to the double set of doors at the clear down the hallway. "Leads to the orphange, we keep it locked at all times so the kids can't get out into the lobby. We take families back their for the searches. Which is where you'll be going soon enough." She reassured him with a big smile.  
  
Dean was starving! So after he left LifeCare he drove down the street for a sandwich or two and scarfed them down on the way home. As soon as he got three feet inside, his phone rang.   
  
"Yes, Joanna?"  
  
"Dean! Anna said that Castiel invited you over for a cookout last night! I need details now!" She explained excitedly.  
  
Dean thought she was on drugs he pulled the phone away from his ear and winced when she yelled. "First of all," he said sarcastically. "He did invite me to his house last night. And second why the fuck would I give you details?"  
  
She huffed over the phone. "Because you love me and i'm curious! Now spill!"  
  
"I said no." He said sternly.  
  
"And I being the wonderful best friend that I am, am worried your love life. Now spill before I bust through your front door and beat the details out of you." She snapped.  
  
"Oh god! Okay, fine!" He threw his hands up in surrender. "He was close and cuddly with me all night and I liked it, okay? We've been on three dates so far and I really like him."  
  
Oh man, sh sh sh!" Jo shushed him. "Be quiet, Dean! You hear that?" She asked.  
  
Complete silence.  
  
"What?" Dean asked.  
  
"Wedding bells!" She squealed  
  
Dean groaned loudly.  "Shut the fuck crazy ass. Dude! His hair though- oh god, Jo! I don't know how to describe it, it smells so good."  
  
"Are you seeing him again?" She asked.  
  
"Of course I am! We're seeing a movie, which reminds me-" he got off the couch and went to his bedroom "I have shit to do before I see him tomorrow night." He continued as he rummaged through his closet for a clean plaid shirt with the phone sandwiched between his ear and his shoulder. "Which means, you have to hang up." He ordered with a chuckle.  
  
"Okay, but I want details when you get home, Winchester! If you don't answer my calls, i'm going to assume you're either sleeping with him or he murdered you." She said with a laugh.  
  
"You're so fucked up, Jo I swear! Bye loser."  
  
"Bye."  
  
Jo finally hung up and he sighed in relief. He went to the bathroom and brushed his teeth getting ready for bed. He took his jeans off and slipped in a pair of pajamas from the night before. He shut the light off before walking out of the bathroom. He picked his phone up as he climbed into bed and sat it onthe night stand. He exhaled deeply and situated himself under the covers. He needed to find some pants tomorrow, a nice pair.

* * *

  
He pulled up at Castiel's house at 6:30 and walked up to the front door. He knocked and waited. He grinned when Castiel answered. He stepped back a little and looked at him up and down. "Well don't you look handsome?" He was dressed in maroon shorts and and a navy stripped shirt with gray Polo deck shoes.  
  
"Oh stop!" He said blushing. "It's just something I threw together real quick."   
  
"Well you look very nice." He said putting his arm around Castiel's shoulder. "We should get going, our movie starts soon."  
  
Castiel smiled and walked beside Dean to the car. Dean opened his door and he climbed in before Dean rounded the car and climbed in his side. He pulled away and drove across town to Walmart.   
  
Castiel looked at him when he turned right instead of left on Iowa Street. "Uh, Dean?" He asked, looking at him confused. "Regal Southwind is the other way.."  
  
Dean looked over at him and gave him a quick nod, he smirked. "I know, we're making a pit stop."  
  
"O-kay." He replied with a confused look.  
  
Dean pulled in the the Walmart parking lot, cutting the engine and waiting for Castiel to get out of the car. "Dean, what are we doing? He whispered loudly.  
  
"We're getting candy, silly! It's like four dollars for a small box of Reese's Pieces at the theater!" He explained in a loud whisper as the two of them walked through the entrance.  
  
"I've never done that." Castiel told him.  
  
"Well, you're about to." Dean said with a smile. "What's your favorite candy?" He asked as they made their way to the candy isle.  
  
"Uh, peanut M &M's."   
  
Woah! I'm probably gonna end up dating him for sure. He likes peanut M&M's I like peanut M&M's, damn. He grabbed the M&M's, Reese's Pieces, Skittles, and a bag of Hershey's Kisses and looked at Castiel, "anything else?" He asked. Castiel shook his head.  
  
Soon they were across the street sitting in Regal Southwind parking lot and Dean was shoving candy into the pockets of his jacket. "Are you sure all that is going to fit in your pockets without you getting caught?" Castiel asked worriedly.  
  
Dean looked at him with a devious smirk, "are you doubting me,Castiel?" He asked jokingly as the both exited the car.  
  
Castiel laughed and shook his head. "Oh no, never!" He replied sarcastically with a grin. They stepped inside and waited in line for their tickets. The line moved rather quickly for a friday night, the theater was usually packed with immature teenagers. Dean just shrugged, at least they'd get to their seats faster.  
  
They got their tickets and their drink and gave the tickets to the ticket taker. They walked to the room that was showing the movie they were seeing and Castiel chose seats way in the back because he's experienced sitting in front of rude ass teeanger in the movie theater a few times before. He'd rather not have popcorn thrown at him this time.  
  
As soon as the previews came on Dean opened all the candy boxes and handed a few to Castiel. They switched often throughout the movie. "Hey," Dean whispered near Castiel's ear. Castiel turn his face toward him. "You want a kiss?" Castiel didn't see him hold his hand out with the Hershey's Kiss. He just leaned in and kissed Dean softly on the lips. He pulled back slowly and Dean froze for a second. "I...was talking about the candy. But that works so much better." He whispered. Castiel chuckled quietly and took the piece of chocolate from Dean's palm grinning from ear to ear.  
  
The movie ended and everyone started filing out the doors to exit the building. Dean couldn't stop thinking about Castiel's lips on his. "So I didn't get caught with the candy." Dean joked.  
  
Castiel huffed a laugh, "yeah, I saw that." As he walked to Dean's car. He climbed in as soon as Dean unlocked it.  
  
On the way home Castiel snaked his hand into Dean's and their fingers laced together. Dean rubbed his thumb gently across the back of his hand and squeezed it a little. When they pulled up to Castiel's house both of the got out, Castiel flicked his blue eyes up to stare at Dean. Dean's heart felt like it was going to beat out of his ribcage. "I had a really good time, we should smuggle candy into the movies more often." He suggested with a wink. Dean's legs felt like Jell-O. Don't do that! I'm having heart palpatations.   
  
"We should try that kiss again too, the seat was in the way." He suggested with a grin.  
  
Castiel leaned toward him like he was going in for a kiss. But stopped next to his ear instead. He ran his hand down Dean's side and stopped at his hip. "Maybe next time, good lookin'." He said with a grin before pulling back and looking at Dean.  
  
Dean looked at him with big green eyes, he almost looked sad. Castiel backed away and headed toward his house and Dean smiled, shaking his head. "Man, he is something else."

* * *

  
"Wait! Wait!" Gabriel paused. "So that's where he goes every week?" He marveled. "And he listed Castiel as his partner? And they want him to go with Dean this time because it's the last meeting or whatever?"  
  
Sam nodded, "yes, but only because he couldn't list Carmen as his partner because she walked out on him one day."  
  
Castiel sat at the table in awe. He smile pulled at the corners of his mouth, "So Dean's adopting a kid? He never mentioned that.."  
  
Gabriel turned to his little brother. "You're not mad or upset about any of this?" He stared at him for a minute. "Cassie, do you even want to take on the responsibilty to care for a child? You're still so young."  
  
"It wouldn't be his reponsibility, it'd still be Dean's. He just put Castiel's name down just in case."  
  
"Well I do like kids, Gabriel." He paused and Gabriel could see his cheeks flush. "And I like Dean.."  
  
Gabriel smirked and looked at Castiel, "you're in love with him, aren't you?"  
  
Castiel scoffed at his brother's question and shook his head, "no Gabe, we're just hanging out."  
  
"You love him, or starting to at least. You're avoiding the question! So it's true! How many dates have you two been on? Five? Six?" Gabriel said.  
  
"Okay!" Castiel caved with a dramatic roll of his eyes. "I'm starting to fall for him! And next week will be the fifth date. Not that i'm counting or anything." He explained.  
  
Gabriel nudged him teasingly and grinned at him, "have you kissed him yet?"  
  
"Gabriel, stop it. It was just a chaste kiss. He asked if I wanted a Hershey's Kiss but I didn't see it in his hand until he told me." His cheeks were starting to flush a light red. "I really didn't mean to, but he didn't mind. He wanted to kiss me again when he dropped me off but I told him he'd have to wait." He smiled to himself.  
  
"You sly mother fucker." Gabriel teased. "You might as well ask him out already! What are you waiting on?" He asked.  
  
"Perfect timing." Sam cut in with a smirk.  
  
"Thank you, Sam!" Castiel slapped his hand on the kitchen table. "So when should I be ready?  For the thing with Dean?"  
  
Sam tapped the table with his fingers thinking. "You should probably ask him..i'm not sure. He just wanted me to come over and ask you. He was afraid you'd hate the idea and shoot him down...so just give him a call. Or maybe drop by his house, he wouldn't mind."  
  
Castiel nodded. "Okay."

* * *

  
There was a knock at the door and Dean was in the kitchen finishing up the dishes. He turned off the water and ran to the door. "Just a minute!" He hollered walking in the living room and opening the door. He gasped and smiled drying his wet hands on a dish towel. "Cas, what're you doing here?" He open the screen door so Castiel could come inside.  
  
He smiled and stepped inside the house, "nothing I just wanted to see about your meeting? Sam said it was mandatory that I be there with you."  
  
"Oh yeah," dean walk toward the kitchen. "You want something to drink?" Castiel nodded. "Water, pop, beer..."  
  
"Water's fine,thank you." Dean bent over annd grabbed a bottle of water from the bottom shel and handed it to Castiel. "So you're adopting?" Castiel smiled.  
  
Dean blushed and ran a hand through his hair. "Yeah," he smiled. "Sorry, I didn't mention that. Or the fact that I wrote your name down anywhere in my files.." He expalined apologetically.  
  
Castiel leaned against the counter and smiled shaking his head, "don't even worry about it, i'd love it come with you. What time should I be ready?" His eyes met Dean's.  
  
"Um, well it takes an hour to get there. I usually get up at 7:00 to shower and get ready i'm out the door by 8:30. The homestudy starts at 10:00. I'll pick you up." He grinned and leaned against the counter.  
  
"Okay. I just want to make sure so I don't make you late."  
  
Dean laughed, "of course not. I'll do a wake up call." He smiled. "Just in case."  
  
"Sounds good. I'd like that. I'm a light sleeper, so no worries. I'll probably answer on the second ring."  
  
"O-or, you could just crash here." He paused and glanced at Castiel. "Or not." His voice lowered to a whisper. "Sorry, stupid idea." He laughed nervously rubbing the back of his neck.  
  
Castiel chuckled nerously, "I-I couldn't possibly.." He looked at Dean with furrowed brows. "Do you even have an extra bed? He chugged his water and wiped his mouth. "The two of us wouldn't have nearly enough time for a shower, and I don't have any nice clothes to wear."  
  
"You can sleep in my bed. I take five minute showers, and i'm sure you and I are the same size. We'll find you something, it's casual anyway." Dean explained.  
  
"You're determined to make me stay here, aren't you?" He asked with a chuckle.  
  
"Is it working?" Dean asked  
  
Castiel laughed and nodded, "yes it is."

* * *

  
 **Thursday, May 22, 2014:** Final Homestudy  
  
"Cas.." Dean shook him gently. He stirred a little and lifted his head and opened his eyes.  
  
"Wha-" he rubbed his eyes. "What time is?" He asked, his voice rough and sleep filled.  
  
"7:30. Go shower, we leave in an hour." He swatted his ass before walking to the closet. He laid out Castiel's outfit first. Dean's Metallica shirt, his indigo flannel and his favorite worn out jeans. He didn't know about the boxers though. That would've been weird.  
  
"Dean?" Cas asked poking his head out of the bathroom. Steam billowed into the bedroom.  
  
"Hm?" Dean turned around.  
  
"No boxers?" Castiel asked with a laugh. "Look as much as i'd like to free ball in your jeans, it's kinda weird..and when I leave you're more than likely going to get off on the thought of that when you go to bed tonight." He joked. "Can I get a pair?"  
  
Dean threw him a pair of boxers. "Asshat!" He teased. "Hurry up! We gotta go..."  
  
Castiel was dressed and his hair was done. He met Dean in the kitchen 10 minutes later. "Ready."   
  
Dean turned around and looked at him, his mouth hanging open. "We match." He said with a smile. Damn, he look good in my clothes.   
  
By the time they got on the highway, Dean's nerves started to get the best of him. He sighed and wiped his sweaty, shaky hands on his jeans and Castiel grabbed his right hand and squeezed it. "Hey, hey." Castiel cooed. Calm down. What's wrong?"  
  
"Nothing, just-" he sighed. "What if they don't think i'm fit to be a parent? What if i don't get a kid? I-I'm a nervous wreck. I'm freakin' out, Cas!"   
  
Castiel planted soft kisses on the back of Dean's hand as he drove. "Hey, you'd make a great parent. No need to get worked up over this. It's just the last homestudy. And i'll be right beside you the whole time." Castiel reassured him, gently squeezing his hand.  
  
The homestudy took place in a confrence room instead of Melissa's office this time and had a few more people present compared to last time, which made Dean a lot more nervous then he already was. Dean leaned over toward Castiel before they got started. "I'm going to bring up some personal stuff that you probably don't know about, and some of it I know will be pretty heavy, so just step outside if you have to." He whispered quietly.  
  
Castiel looked at Dean for a second and studied his facial expressions shaking his head, he leaned in. "There is nothing you can reveal about yourself that I wouldn't want to know." He whispered, giving Dean a smile and squeezing his hand under the table.  
  
Right then, sitting in a confrence room full of other people Dean Winchester fell in love with the man sitting next to him, and not just because he said what he just said. It's the hand holding, the unexpected kiss in the movie theater, that laugh, and those blue eyes. He wanted to keep that around.  
  
"Good Morning, Mr.Winchester." Melissa greeted him with a grin. "Big day today. How are you? Excited?" She asked.  
  
He smiled, obviously hiding the fact that he was really fucking nervous, he nodded and chuckled. "Excited, nervous, my stomach is in knots right now." Castiel rubbed a hand over his knee to calm him down.  
  
She chuckled as well, "no need to be nervous. It'll be over before you know it, you'll be fine." She straightened her suit jacket and smoothed her matching gray pencil skirt before taking a seat. "Alright, let's get started."  
  
When they started on the personal questions like, why were Dean's parents no longer in the picture? Why was he looking to adopt? How did his last relationship end? Castiel only stepped out once to collect himself. The hard part was over, he finally calmed himself down enough to where his pulse and heart rate were both normal. He exhaled loudly when he signed the last dotted line.   
  
"Congratulations Mr. Winchester, in four months you will begin your search for a potential son or daughter." Melissa explained extending her hand. "It was nice finally meeting you as well, Mr. Novak." Castiel shook her hand  and nodded.  
  
"Thank you." Dean responded with a grin, shaking her hand.  
  
Castiel squeezed Dean's shoulder firmly and smiled as they exited the building, "well, at least you know the hard part is over."


	3. Search

**Day 17/120**  
  
Dean is restless. The LifeCare staff said they'd keep in contact over the next 120 days, no one has called yet. Dean has sat by the phone day and night hoping that when it rang it'd be someone from the adoption agency giving him the go ahead to search for a child.   
  
 **Message from: Cas at 6:34PM:** _Calm down, sweetheart. It's only been a little over two weeks. It's gonna take a little time for them to get back with you. Patience._  
  
 **Message to: Cas at 6:46PM:** _I can't calm down. This is so much worse than the last homestudy.. :'(_  
  
 **Message from: Cas at 6:51PM:** _I can only imagine. I wish I was there with you :/ i'd give you lots of hugs to make you feel better._  
  
 **Message to: Cas at 7:02PM** : _How is DC btw? Are you having fun? Bet those fucking 8th graders are obnoxious!! :(_  
  
 **Message from: Cas at 7:10PM:** _It's fun, really tiring though cause we've been somewhere new everyday.  When they go back to school i'm assigned to first graders!_  
  
 **Message to: Cas at 7:16PM:** _Awesome! You're really gonna like it_  
  
Dean's phone rang seconds later as he was walking back into the kitchen to stir the pasta on the stove, he answered it and sandwiched it between his shoulder and his ear. He scoffed, "how'd I know that was you calling?"  
  
"Psychic powers- hey, I know this is sudden and I don't know how this would sit with you, but i'd like to move in.." He explained, just throwing it out there. "I know it's like a spur of the moment type thing, but I think i'm in love with you and i'd really like to wake up seeing your face everyday."  
  
Dean chuckled and his face lit up, "I was actually gonna ask you if you wanted to after you got back. I really like that idea. You come home in two days, swing by and we'll talk."  
  
"What is this, a negotiating of some kind?" Castiel asked jokingly.  
  
"Yes!" Dean chuckled. "That is exactly what this is!" He sighed when he plopped down on the couch. "Don't you have eighth graders to feed?" He teased.  
  
"Actually they already ate, it's 8:30. We're an hour ahead of you." Castiel yawned and Dean heard him over the phone.  
  
"Someone's tired." Dean mentioned. "You should probably call it a night Mr. Novak..you have a big day ahead of you. I'll talk to you when you get home." He said with a smile.  
  
"Yeah." He agreed. "I'll talk to you then, don't miss me too much." He ordered.  
  
Dean laughed, "i'll try not too. Talk to you soon."   
  
It's almost been four months since their brothers set them up and normally a person would tell the person they were seeing, that they love them by now. Not Dean and Cas. They want to ease into things slowly, see how it goes. Come to think of it, Dean asked him for another kiss and he still hasn't done that yet either. He smiled thinking about. Dean was going to bribe him. He liked the thought of the idea.

* * *

  
**Day 19/120**  
  
Castiel got off the Greyhound and into his car and left the school parking lot, heading straight for Dean's. He made his way to the front porch to the door, he almost started knocking, but he saw a note taped to the window.  
  
 _At the shop! -D_  
  
He smiled and hurried to his car and drove across town Singer's Auto Shop.  
  
He pulled in the parking lot and got out of his car walking into the lobby. When he entered, the bell above the door rang.  
  
"Hey, Castiel." Jo greeted him with a smile as she walked out from one of the back offices. "Dean's elbow deep in an engine. I'll tell him you're here." She opened the door that lead to the garage and loud music flooded into the lobby. "Yo, Winchester!"   
  
Dean leaned out from under the hood of the car he was working on and hit his head in the process. He winced and rubbed the back of his head. "What?" He hissed.  
  
"Your boyfriend's in the lobby." She said with a wink shutting disappearing to the front of the shop.  
  
Dean grabbed a shop rag from the shelf and headed toward the door trying to get as much of the motor oil off his hands as possible. He leaned against the front counter and watched Castiel look around at the stuff hanging on the walls. Pictures of all the employees on one wall, awards and certificates on another and alot of car memrobilia. Dean smiled, still wiping his hands. "Hey, Cas."  
  
Castiel turned on his heels when he heard a fimilar voice. He launched himself into Dean's arms arm hugged him tightly. "Dean, I missed you!"  
  
"Whoa, whoa!" Dean pried Cas from his body and backed up a little, putting some space between the two of them. "I'm covered in motor oil, dude. I'd hate to ruin your clothes." He told him.  
  
Castiel looked him up and down. Dean was literally covered head to toe in the dark slimy oil. If he was being completely honest, He thought Dean looked hot covered in the stuff, all dirty like that. He was just as hot cleaned up and showered. But he had his sleeves rolled up and Cas couldn't handle it. He really didn't care about his clothes getting ruined.  
  
"How was D.C. Mr. Novak?" Dean asked with a smirk still leaning against the counter.  
  
Cas nodded, "Dean," he grinned. "You don't have to call me that.."  
  
Dean chuckled and ran a dirty hand over his face and through his hair. "I like it.." He paused looking at Castiel. "Mr. Novak." He continued teasingly.  
  
He scoffed and shook his head, "so about the moving in thing..do you still wanna talk about that?"  
  
"Uh yeah, follow me." He turned around and walked to the end of the hallway to his office, Castiel followed behind him shutting the door. Dean took a seat behind his desk and Castiel sat in front of him. "I just want you to know that I thought about this way before you asked me the other day." Dean explained. Castiel nodded. He smiled and leaned forward, folding his hands. "And I just want to remind you of certain events that took place about a month ago during and after the movies."   
  
Cas laughed and covered his hand, "oh my god! You're not serious, are you?"  
  
Dean grinned and nodded his head. "I am totally serious. You told me "next time" when I dropped you off and I took that "next time" as a promise. Then here you go knocking on my front door to ask me about the thing for LifeCare and that was "next time" and I still didn't get my kiss when I politely suggested that we try it again." Castiel couldn't stop laughing the entire time Dean was giving his speech. "Now i'll let you move in under one condition."  
  
"And what's that ridiculous condition, Dean Winchester?" He asked sarcastically. "It's probably an insane one at that." He laughed.  
  
"No, no." He laughed. "Kiss me whenever you want.."  
  
Castiel blushed and didn't meet his eyes. "When does this condition take effect?" He asked grinning still.  
  
Dean glanced at his watch then back at Castiel, "well I was thinking ten seconds ago, but since you kept me waiting this long. I'll do the same until your very last possession you own, is sitting in my house." He glanced at Castiel with a devious smile as he headed toward the door. "It's only fair, right?"

* * *

**Day 22/120**  
  
Charlie, Jo, Dean, Cas, and Ash were walking in and out of Gabriel's house with boxes full of Castiel's belongings. Sam allowed them to use his truck for the day for hauling all the big stuff which consisted of only a dresser and a flat screen, but still.  
  
Dean had to reorganize his room, but he didn't mind too much. There was enough room for Cas' dresser to sit next to his and there was already a tv in his bedroom so he'd keep that in his office until he figured out what to do with it. All of Castiel's stuff was either on the porch, waiting to be carried in or already in the bedroom ready to be unloaded and put away.   
  
"So," Castiel said standing on the porch wiping droplets of sweat from his forehead. Dean looked over at him. "How about that kiss?"  
  
Dean shook his head and glanced at two boxes on the porch then back up at Castiel, pointing over his shoulder at the house. "I said all of your stuff. There's two more boxes, slick." He replied with a grin.  
  
"Goddammit! You're killing me!" He said sarcastically, picking up one of the boxes and making his way into the house with it.  
  
"Sucks doesn't it?" Dean asked following him inside.  
  
Castiel groaned and dragged his feet to the bedroom. "You have no idea.." He pouted.  
  
"Really?" Dean said stopping in the middle of the bedroom. "I have no idea how bad it sucks?" He asked with a chuckle.   
  
Castiel hurried out of the house and grabbed the box. It was lighter than the last box so he ran to the bedroom with it and sat it down in the corner of the room. He turned swiftly on his heels and looked at Dean. "Okay, i'm finished. That was the last box." He said quickly. He said all of that so fast Dean didn't understand a word of it.  Castiel started toward the door.  
  
Dean put a hand on his shoulder to stop him. "Slow down there, Dan Dotson." He paused for a minute and looked at Castiel. "Why are you talking so damn fast?" He asked.  
  
"I'm finished. That was the last box." He repeated slowly then took a breath.  
  
"Are you sure that was the last box?" Dean asked with a smile, rubbing his thumb across Castiel's cheek. "Your car's not in my driveway." Dean stated.  
  
Castiel groaned loudly and hid his face in Dean's shirt. "Dean!" He whined. Dean held him close and ran his fingers through Castiel's dark hair.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Don't be an asshole. I'm all moved in, my car doesn't count. Now let me kiss you." He pouted.  
  
Dean lifted Castiel's head with a smile and gently pressed their lips together. Castiel fisted the back of his shirt and pulled him closer kissing him slow, he ran his hands down Dean's sides and winked as he pulled away. "Expect more of that from now on." He whispered. Dean stared at him with big eyes and nodded, swallowing down the lump in his throat.. "Now that we got what we both wanted, help me unpack." Castiel ordered.

* * *

**Day 37/120**  
  
Dean's phone rang while he was in the shower. It was vibrating on the bathroom sink. "Cas!" Dean hollered loudly so Castiel could hear him in the other room.  
  
The door swung open with a quickness and steam instantly fogged Castiel's lenses. "Yeah?" He asked.  
  
"Phone!" Dean yelled over the running shower.   
  
Castiel grabbed Dean's phone from the counter and dragged his finger across the screen to answer it. "Dean's phone, this is Castiel." He said, as he stepped into the bedroom shutting the bathroom door so he could hear better.  
  
"Hi Castiel, it's Melissa from LifeCare." She said cheerfully.  
  
"Hello Melissa, how are you?" He asked politely sitting on the edge of the bed.  
  
"I'm fine, thank you. And yourself?"   
  
"I'm doing just fine, thanks. What can I do for you?" He asked pulling at a loose thread on the comforter.  
  
"Well I was calling to see how Dean is holding up," she chuckled. "This is one of the most anxious times for fosters parents and people looking to adopt because we have to look over all of the files and information that was collected during the month of the home studies and see if they are actually fit to have a child in their home." She explained to him.  
  
Castiel laughed. "Dean is fine, he's been really anxious though. He's keeping track of the days on a calendar until he starts searching for a child. But he's mostly excited more than anything I think." He heard the shower stop. Dean must've finished. He walked out of the bathroom seconds later with a towel sitting low on his hips and water dripping onto his chest from his hair.  
  
Dean looked at Cas as he crossed the floor, "who is that?" He whispered.  
  
Castiel pressed the phone into his shoulder. "It's Melissa from LifeCare." He said.  
  
Dean's eyes widened and a smile crept across his lips. "Put her on speaker." He whispered loudly. Cas peeled the phone away from his ear and put her on speaker.  
  
"What about you Castiel? Are you excited as well? I know you were introduced to all this really late, but I hope you feel the same as Dean...I haven't heard much about you but I hope too soon enough." Dean plopped down next to Cas and tried to be as quiet as possible while they were talking, he couldn't sit still though so Castiel laid a hand on his and he smiled at him.  
  
"I'm excited as well! I'd be happy to tell you all about myself next time we see each other." He said politely.  
  
"Alright, that'd be wonderful! Thank you so much for your time. When Dean is finished tell him that i'm sorry I caught him at the wrong time. I hope to talk to the both of you soon!" She told him.  
  
"Alright, well thank you for calling. I'll be sure to tell him you called. He'll be happy about that."  
  
"Okay." She said politely. She goodbye and the line went dead. Castiel sat the phone down and peered up to see a very happy Dean, grinning from ear to ear.  
  
"What are you smiling about?" Castiel asked him leaning in for a chaste kiss, then another.  
  
Dean shrugged and let out a chuckle. "I don't know, i'm just happy they finally called instead of leaving me hanging for four months." Dean fell quiet for a brief moment and looked at Castiel. "Are you sure you'd be willing to do this with me? I feel like i'm asking too much of you..but really I just put your name on the spouse line because I went braindead in those six short seconds." He paused for a second, but when he opened his mouth he just started to ramble on without taking a breath. "I won't pawn the kid off on you on the weekends so I can go out and drink or anything, maybe you moved in too soon. Maybe pulling you into this was a mistake. I wouldn't want you to do anything you don't want to do. Maybe-" He fell silent once more and looked at Castiel with worried eyes. "M-maybe this is all just a huge mistake..what if i'm not a good parent? What if they want to be sent back?" His eyes were glassy now.  
  
Castiel pulled him into a hug and held onto him tight for a minute. "Hey, hey." He cooed, running his fingers through the back of his head. "Don't talk like that..don't psych yourself out. You'd make an excellent parent. This is not a mistake, you've already made it this far. Why stop now?" He asked with a smile, reassuring him. "And I told you that I love kids, i'm a teacher for crying out loud.. Please don't beat yourself up about this." He looked Dean in the eyes, cupped his face with his hands and gently caressed his cheek with his thumb. "I am falling in love with you Dean Winchester. You have other family, you're a packaged deal and i'm more than okay with sharing you with other people-" he chuckle, "as long as those other people are your family, this kid is going to be your family soon and if we're going to do this. Whatever..this may be. I have to expect it regardless. So please do not feel bad for writing my name on that dotted line." He smiled and kissed softly. "Because i'm almost positive I won't give a shit in the long run."  
  
"Cas.." He pressed his forehead to Castiel's after he kissed him. He smiled, "i'm falling for you too..." He paused for a few seconds. "Pretty hard, I think." He laughed nervously rubbing the back of his neck.

* * *

**Day 54/120**  
  
"You know what I think we should do?" Anna asked.   
  
"What?" Castiel asked, looking at her.  
  
"I think we should clear out Dean's office and buy a bed and stuff for when brings his kid home." She suggested with a grin.  
  
"I don't know.." Castiel replied unsure of himself. "Dean still has awhile before he actually starts to look for a child. And he's still kinda at the beginning of the adoption process and I'm still not comfortable with moving his things around without his permission." He sighed. "Maybe we should wait."  
  
"I hope he gets a baby or a toddler! I'd be over here everyday!" Charlie squealed, almost bouncing out of her seat.  
  
Anna deadpanned and looked at Charlie rolling her blue eyes. "Babe, seriously? Dean Winchester, with a newborn? The man is a mechanic for fuck sake. He wouldn't have time to take care of it."  
  
Castiel nodded in agreement, "I think you might be right, Dean seems more interested in the six to eight age range."  
  
"Do you get to go with him to Ottawa next time? You know, to like help him choose a kid?" Charlie asked Cas.  
  
"I'd like to tag along, but choosing a child is completely up to Dean. It's his decision, i'll let him decide."  
  
"I hope he gets a ginger kid! Oh my god, i'm so excited for him." Charlie said said stomping her feet to the ground.  
  
A smile spread across Castiel's face. "So am I."  
  
Dean walked through the front door twenty minutes later. "Hey Cas," he greeted him with a smile as he shut the door behind him. He paused for a second and turned around. "And Charlie and Anna." He finished with a chuckle.  
  
Cas examined Dean thoroughly looked him up and down. "You, sir...need to shower before you touch anything with your black motor oiled body. Or I will kill you with my bare hands."  
  
Charlie giggled and raised her hand quickly, "I'll help with his corpse." She volunteered.  
  
He turned to look at the two redheads sitting on the couch. "What're you guys doing here?" He asked with a laugh.  
  
Anna shrugged, "we were in the neighborhood, just thought we'd swing by for a visit." She explained. "Do you two have plans tonight?" She asked looking back and forth between Dean and Castiel waiting for one of them to answer.  
  
"No, not that we know of. Why, you wanna hang out later?" Dean ask curiously.  
  
Anna smiled, "you guys wanna buy a case and a few steaks or something? We could fire up the grill out back." She suggested.  
  
"Oh!" Dean started with a laugh and gestured back and forth between Castiel and himself, "so, you want us to buy the beer? You want us to buy expensive steaks? With our hard earn money? Then you want to use our grill, in our backyard, that uses a tank of gas that is also expensive?" He asked jokingly with a grin.  
  
Charlie grinned as well and it took a second for her to answer. "I-yes! That was our plan exactly." She explained with a giggle. She paused for a minute and shook her head. "No, we'll by the beer and the steaks." She insisted. "Fire up the grill in a little bit." Her and Anna stood up and headed for the door.   
  
"Oh, you guys want sides? What should we get?" Anna asked stopping in the middle of the doorway.  
  
"Corn on the cob, baked potatoes...you guys like asparagus?" Cas asked from the couch.   
  
They nodded. "Corn, potatoes, asparagus, pasta salad?" Dean asked.  
  
"Alright. Call us if you need anything. Bottles or cans?"  
  
"Cans!" Dean and Cas both replied in unison.  
  
"Alright, good choice! We'll be back." Anna called as the door closed.  
  
Castiel followed Dean to the backyard, after he had grabbed the tongs and the steak seasoning from the kitchen. Dean noticed he was smiling for some reason. "Why are you all smiley, babe?" Dean asked, the corners of his mouth turning up.  
  
Castiel waved him off and blushed, "ah, nothing." He chuckled.  
  
Dean nudge him gently and laughed. "Nah, come on! It's something. You haven't stopped since the girls left." He stated.  
  
He blushed harder and turned his head so Dean couldn't see his face. Castiel composed himself just enough to where he could look at Dean again. "Y-you said that it was our money and our backyard.." He explained.  
  
Dean smiled and looked at him nodding, "well yeah, you live here too, butthead. So yeah technically everything is ours. Plus you're mine, and i'm yours-" he paused. "Well i'm yours if you want me." He told him with a chuckle. He opened the lid to the grill and started scrubbing the burnt char that was caked on the rack. He pulled Castiel closer and kissed his head.  
  
"Of course I want you-" Cas laughed. "Dirty or clean..but mostly clean. Even though you look rather sexy covered in grease and motor oil." He swatted Dean's ass with his hand. "Now go get cleaned up before they get back so we can fire up the grill."

* * *

  
**Message from: Char at 4:34PM:** _We got shit for S'mores too so uncover the fire pit._  
  
"Cas." Dean hollered walking off the deck into the backyard. Cas turned around and locked his eyes on a freshly showered Dean and smiled at the sight in front of him. He watched Dean cross the yard. Cas noticed that he was wearing his favorite jeans.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"The girls bought stuff for S'mores. They're on their way back so go uncover the firepit and i'll light the grill."   
  
Castiel nodded and planted a quick kiss on Dean's lips before making his way over to the firepit. "You smell so good." Castiel stated, looking over at Dean as he sat the cover off to the side.  
  
"Yeah? What do I smell like?" He asked with a smile.  
  
Cas thought about it for a minute and smiled over at Dean. "Your hair smells like vanilla lavender and the rest of you smells like cherry blossoms."  
  
"It's the shampoo and conditioner you use." He told him. "I buried my face in your hair that night we went to the movies. It took me for-fucking-ever to find that shit. I like it a lot." He explained.  
  
"You could've asked me what kind it was." Cas replied. He heard the door slide open and he saw Anna with the steaks and a glass plate.  
  
"We're back." She said making her way over to Dean, so he could start the steaks.  
  
"I'm gonna help Charlie in the kitchen, you guys want a beer?" Castiel asked before he stepped inside.  
  
"Yeah." Dean called with a smile.  
  
"Hey Char." Cas greeted her getting into the fridge.  
  
"Hey Cas. Uh, I put a few cans in the freezer to get them kinda cold."   
  
"Okay, i'll be back to help you in a second." He took the beers out to Dean and came right back to the kitchen. "Tell me what to do, Charlie." He ordered leaning against the island.  
  
"Put a pot of water on to boil, then throw the potatoes in the microwave." She instructed. He did exactly that, in complete silence. "Do you love him?" Charlie blurted out. Cas turned around and looked at her. "Dean, I mean..do you love him?" She continued.  
  
Castiel just smiled and answered instantly. "I'm starting to, yes." He looked at her with a tilt of his head. "Why do you ask?" He asked politely.  
  
"I don't know.. He's just seemed a lot happier since you guy've met." She paused and cracked open her beer. "When Carmen left him, all he did was stay inside, he kept to himself most of the time."  
  
"Charlie, I know it's none of my business. But why did she leave him? Carmen, why did she leave? Did they cheat on one another?" He asked curiously.  
  
"I don't know really, she-"  
  
"Meat's done!" Dean sang as he walked through the door, Anna following suit. Cas glanced at Dean and smiled then glanced over at Charlie again and sighed. She shrugged.  
  
Cas started tossing in the rest of the stuff into the pasta salad and everything was ready. They piled their plates with food, Dean grabbed a few beers and headed back outside and sat at the picnic table.  
  
"The steak is really good, Dean!" Anna complimented, nursing her Bud Light.  
  
Dean smiled around a bite of steak he just shoved in his mouth. "Thanks." He said with a laugh as he swallowed. "I made it myself."

* * *

  
**Day 66/120**  
  
"Dean?" Castiel looked up at him when they were laying on the couch watching tv one night after dinner.  
  
"Hm?"   
  
"Who's Carmen?" He asked locking eyes with Dean for a few seconds.  
  
Dean scoffed, scrubbing his face with his hand and shaking his head. "Eh, no one important. She- moved into this house with me like lastNovember. Then she left for work one day a couple of months back and I haven't heard from her since."  
  
"And Lisa?" He asked, not meeting Dean's eyes this time. Dean almost could've sworn he was upset about something because his voice trembled a little when he said her name.  
  
"Hey," he said gently swiping his thumb across Cas' forehead. "Why are you so curious all the sudden?" He asked softly.  
  
"I don't know, I just want to know I guess. Melissa mentioned on the phone the other day, why you wanted to adopt and I...was just curious." He looked at Dean for a several long minutes with worried eyes then gasped in horror. "You didn't- lose...a child..did you?" He asked brokenly.  
  
Dean looked at him with wide green eyes and shook his head violently. "No! Cas, no! I didn't lose a kid...I she-" He trailed off and sighed pinching the bridge of his nose then rubbing his eyes. "Should I start from the beginning?" He asked. Cas nodded.  
  
"Lisa- is a girl I dated in high school. She got pregnant when we were 16 and we freaked out, because kids, y'know at that age- aren't fit fiancially to raise a child on their own. Well, she told me she was going to get an abortion, but I uh- I wouldn't let her. So uh, she respected my wishes and went through with the birth. I had no clue she had even had the baby, because I was up at Bobby's in Souix Falls at the time-" Cas looked up and realized that Dean was currently holding back tears, he sat up next to him and rubbed his back in slow soothing circles. Cas waited paiently for him to dry his eyes and continue. "She had the baby shortly after spring break then gave it up for adoption two hours after she had it. Then she ran off to California with some biker dude that was like twice her age." He laughed through his tears, "sh-she didn't even give the baby a name." He stammered. He took a much needed deep breath and looked at Cas with red rimmed eyes. "That's why I want to adopt..I want another shot a being a parent, and this time around i'm absolutely sure that I would be better at it now than I would've been nine years ago."   
  
"Good, you're gonna do a fantastic job. I know you will." Castiel praised with a smile, as he hugged Dean tightly.  
  
"Thanks, Cas." He smiled.

* * *

**Day 89/120**  
  
"How much longer you got 'til you go searching for a little hooligan?" Ellen asked.  
  
"About a month and a half. I'm so excited I can't stand it." Dean said around a bite of his apple pie.  
  
Ellen grimaced and smacked him in the back of his head. "Where's your manners, boy? We didn't raise you in a barn. Finish chewing before you speak!" She demanded.  
  
Cas snickered when Ellen smacked Dean. Dean shot him a death stare. "Shut up, Cas!" He hissed.  
  
Castiel just threw his head back and let out a laugh then leaned into kiss Dean's pouty lips. "You poor baby." He said jokingly.  
  
Dean turned his head, still pouting. "I don't kiss douchbags. Get away." He snapped as he finished his pie.  
  
"Do you want a boy or a girl? Or do you even care?" Jo asked hopping up on the counter and crossing her legs.  
  
"At this point, I don't really care, but i'd really like a boy." He replied.  
  
Jo turned to look at Castiel. "What about you Cas? What are you shooting for?"  
  
"Whatever makes this one happy." He said pointing to Dean. "I'll be happy with whatever gender he chooses." He beamed.  
  
"Castiel, you are such a gentleman." Ellen smiled. "Dean, where'd you find this boy?" She asked.  
  
Dean shrugged, "I'dunno Sam picked him up on the side of the road one day and brought him home 'cause he thought I might like him." He joked with a smile, nudging Cas' arm a little.  
  
Castiel pressed his forehead to Dean's and smiled at him. "I love you, ya big dork." He said quietly.   
  
Dean froze and pulled his head back a little to stare at Cas with wide eyes. He swallowed the lump in his throat and he was positive Castiel heard it. Cas immediately regretted what came from his lips.  
  
Ellen and Jo exchanged confused looks for a minute and looked at Dean. Jo looked back at Ellen once more, "shots fired." She whispered. She looked back and forth between Dean and Cas. "What's a'matter Winchester? Did he cross a line?" She joked giggling quietly.  
  
Dean stormed out out the kitchen and went straight outside. "I guess I caught him off guard." He chuckled nervously.  
  
"Maybe a little." Jo replied before Castiel bolted out of the house after him.  
  
"Dean?" Cas called walking out the door. He was sitting on the front porch steps, Castiel approached him slowly. Dean turned around when he heard Castiel's voice. He sighed and ran his hands through his hair. "What happened in there?" Castiel asked softly, rubbing his back.  
  
"You scared me a little.." Dean confessed quietly.  
  
Cas smiled and rubbed the back of Dean's neck with his thumb, "scared you how?" He asked.  
  
"I haven't heard that for a while and just hearing it all of a sudden out of nowhere...is just- it hit me like a ton of bricks and I didn't know how to react." He explained slowly, trying his hardest not to say the wrong thing.  
  
"Oh," Castiel chuckled. "Well, i'm sorry I scared you."  
  
"I just don't want to say it back," Dean paused, trying to search his brain for the right words. "I-I don't want to say it back right now at least, 'cause then i'll just be say it because you said it first and I want it to mean something you know?"  
  
Castiel nodded, "well, you tell me when you're ready, okay?"  
  
"Okay."  
  
Castiel rose to his feet with a groan. "Come on, let's go inside."  
  
"Everything alright?" Jo asked pursing her lips tightly. "No broken hearts? No black eyes? No broken noses? No emotionally traumatized mechanics or teachers?" She joked.  
  
"Everything is fine, Jo." Castiel reassured her.

* * *

**Day 92/120**  
  
Castiel walked through the door at 7:30 and dropped his laptop bag on the couch. He slid out of his shoes and carried his exhausted body to the bedroom. "Dean?" He called nonchalantly, letting his body fall to the bed, he sighed and closed his eyes when his back hit the mattress.  
  
"Cas? Is that you that came in?" Dean asked making his way up the basement steps.  
  
"Bedroom." He replied, Dean could barely hear him down the hall. He stopped in the doorway watching Cas as he lay there motionless for a few minutes.  
  
"How was your day?" Dean finally asked, smiling with his arms and legs crossed leaning against the door frame.  
  
Castiel groaned loudly, it almost sounded like a whine. "Is it May yet? I fucking hate Freshmen!" He complained.  
  
Dean crawled up next to him on the bed, "s'that bad, huh?" He chuckled quietly.  
  
"I just want the fuck out! I'd rather be at a local school teaching, rather than sitting through hour and a half lectures at the college." He let out a frustrated sigh and ran his fingers through his hair. "The first day back is always the fucking worst, because the upperclassmen have to deal with the noobies, and I can't fucking stand it because my fucking feet hurt and my body's fucking sore and I'm fucking starving and I'm in desperate need of a shower and- it just fucking sucks." He exhaled and Dean pulled him closer and held him because the poor guy looked like he was on the verge of crying.  
  
"Poor baby." Dean whispered into his hair and began to rub his back. He could feel Cas curl into him, because his knees were pressing into his stomach. "Tomorrow will be better." Dean laid there for about ten more minutes cradling a very upset Castiel in his arms. "Why don't you take a hot shower, while I make you something to eat, okay? Then we'll chill on the couch and watch a movie or something." He suggested.  
  
Castiel padded barefoot to the kitchen wearing a pair of gray sweats and is that my Zeppelin shirt? I'm pretty sure that's my shirt. There's a hole in the shoul- yep! That's my shirt. Man, I gotta stop mixing up our laundry!   
  
"Is that for me?" Cas asked pointing to the turkey sandwich on the island.  
  
"It is." Dean replied. "Turkey on wheat with everything. You want anything with it?" He asked. "There's left over's from the other night in the fridge."  
  
Castiel bit into his sandwich and moaned with his eyes closed. Dean raised an eyebrow watching him. "That good, huh?" He asked jokingly.  
  
"Oh my God! You have no idea! This is the first thing i've had since 9:00 this morning. Thank you so much!" He said while sinking his teeth into it again.  
  
"No problemo, teach." Dean said, passing  him with a wink. If Castiel wasn't so hungry right now he would totally be blushing but he only cared about the sandwich for now.

* * *

**Day 96/120**  
  
"Wake up,baby." Dean whispered into Castiel's ear. "It's your first day of Kindergarten." He continued, kissing Castiel's cheek. Castiel stirred and opened his eyes slowly.  
  
"I don't wanna go, I wanna sleep.." He said roughly.  
  
"I laid out your clothes, hop in the shower real quick." Dean mumbled around the tooth brush in his mouth.  
  
Castiel rose from the bed, dragging himself slowly across the floor to the bathroom. He ran his hand through Dean's ungelled hair as he passed behind him. He felt like he was doing everything in slow motion. How did he even get in the shower? When did he get undressed?   
  
He met Dean in the kitchen all dressed and ready to go.dean leaned against the counter and whistled, "look at you, Mr. Novak...you look good in bowties." He said with a wink.  
  
He blushed, "Dean...I told you that you don't have to call me that."  
  
Dean looked him in the eye and sucked his bottom lip between his teeth and gave Cas another wink, "sure thing, Teach." He said wagging his eyebrows at him.  
  
"Fucking Christ!" Castiel sighed dramatically, then laughed. "where's my coffee, asshat? I have to go."  
  
"Coffee's right here, Mr. Novak." Dean said handing him the stainless steel to-go cup off the counter.  
  
"You are fucking ridiculous, you know that?" He asked sarcastically, snatching the cup from Dean's hand. He started to walk off, but Dean grabbed his wrist and spun him around, kissing him on the lips. Castiel pulled away slowly after a few seconds and caught his breath. "Have a good day, Mr. Novak.." Dean teased.  
  
Castiel's face was beet red, he straightened his bowtie and headed for the door. "Y-you t-too." He stammered. Dean grinned as soon as the door shut. He liked seeing Cas all flustered like that, it was his favorite.

* * *

"How was your first day with the ankle biters?" Dean asked jokingly.

  
"So much better than when I went back to KU. Some of them were really polite, some were shy. I received several compliments on my bowtie, I had a good day."  
  
"Good, I like that bowtie." He said with a smile.  
  
"So," Cas said undoing his tie. "Has anyone from the agency called?"  
  
Dean pursed his lips and shook his head, "nope, not since the first couple of days. You would think the fuckers would've called by now because we're getting so close, but nope. They probably like to sit back and watch their clientele go insane, so when the time comes to actually search for a kid, they rule them incompetent so they don't even get one at all!" He said shaking his head and throwing his hands up in surrender. "It's fucking ridiculous if you ask me." He paused and looked at Castiel who was staring at him with his mouth hanging wide open. "Imagine if they made you wait an entire year! I'd literally go fucking insane." He carried on.  
  
"Dean," Cas said as he crossed the floor and rested his chin on Dean's head. "Take a chill pill," He said as he ran his fingers through his hair.  "You've managed to hang on this long...what's a few more days?"  
  
"Well the date is getting closer and i'm getting more and more anxious as the days go by."  
  
"That kinda thing happens with stuff like this, it's normal. You just need to calm down and relax." Castiel ordered, massaging Dean's shoulders.

* * *

**Day 116/120**  
  
Dean shoved his cell phone into Castiel's chest. He damn near knocked the wind out of him in the process. "Take the damn phone, Cas! Fucking take it." He thundered. "I don't want the damn thing back until they call, okay? You're on phone patrol now, got it?" He demanded.  
  
Cas grabbed Dean by his shoulders and guided him backwards until the back of his knees came in contact with the bed. He pushed downward on his shoulders making him sit down. "Sit down!" He ordered. "Let me tell you something you little shit head," he said, waving his finger in Dean's face. Dean looked terrified, "you are driving me crazy with this crap. Calm down, okay?" His tone softened a little and he ran his hand through Dean's hair. "You have four days. Four. That's a total of 96 hours. You've been so unbelievably patient over the past couple of months. Hold it together for me for like four more days. That's all i'm asking, baby...please do that for me?" He begged.   
  
Dean nodded looking up at Castiel with innocent green eyes. He wrapped his arms around Castiel's waist, "i'm sorry." He muttered apologetically into Cas' shirt.

* * *

**Day 119/120**  
  
"Singer Auto and Body, This is Dean. How may I you?" He askedpolitelyy into the phone.  
  
"Hi Dean, it's Melissa Taft from LifeCare." She said. Dean's face lit up like a Christmas tree and he grinned so hard he thought his cheeks were going to split open.  
  
"Hey Melissa, i've been waiting for your call." He said with a smile. "What can I do you you?" He asked leaning back in his chair.  
  
"I just wanted to see if we were all set for tomorrow?" She asked.  
  
"Uh yeah, Cas and I both get off early tomorrow so we should be all set. Do I need to bring anything? Like information wise?" He asked.  
  
"That shouldn't be necessary. Just bring yourselves." Dean could hear the smile in her voice.  
  
"Okay, do you have a certain time you want us there by?"  
  
"We'll work around your schedule...so what time do you and Castiel get released early from work?"  
  
"Around 1:00."   
  
"Alright. 3:00 is the earliest we have available, i'll call you if I have any concerns and vice versa. I'll see the both of you soon enough." She told him before the line went dead.  
  
It was going on 4:30 when Dean got home. The house was quiet but, Castiel's bag was laying on the island in the kitchen. He padded slowly to the back of the house near the bedroom. Found him. He was fast asleep in the middle of the bed, still wearing his shoes. He was probably wore out from the classes he had earlier that day at the college. He walked in the room and quietly and slowly removed Cas' shoes with nimble fingers, then pulled the door shut and walked to the kitchen.  
  
Castiel woke to the smell of something cooking on the stove. He stumbled to the kitchen and saw Dean standing there stirring something. He rubbed his eyes and ran his fingers through his hair. "Hi." He whispered, his voice rough and sleep ridden.  
  
"Awe, look who's awake." Dean cooed softly, kissing Castiel's plump pouty lips.   
  
Cas' wrapped his arms around Dean's torso and let his head fall to his shoulder. He was stirring green beans. "You hate rabbit food." He whispered nonchalantly.  
  
Dean nodded in agreement, "I do, but we gotta have something with the burgers." He stated, kissing Castiel's messy bed head. It was sticking up everywhere. Dean started to move and Cas pulled away slowly moving himself onto a bar stool on the other side of the island.  
  
Dean disappeared outside for a few minutes and came back with a plate of burgers and a few pieces of chicken. He sat them on the island. He looked over to see Cas with his head down. He reached in the cabinet on the left of the sink and grabbed out a few plates, then dished out food for the both of them.  
  
He rounded the island and rubbed Castiel's back, "babe? Dinner's ready." He said softly. Castiel lifted his head after a few second and pouted when Dean disturbed him.  
  
"Thank you."  
  
"Guess who called today at work?" Dean smiled over at the dark haired man sitting a few inches from him on the couch.  
  
"LifeCare?" He guessed with a smile. It wasn't that hard to guess anyway. It's the only call they've been anticipating for months now. Dean nodded. "What'd they say?"  
  
"We have to be there at 3:00 tomorrow." He sing songed around his burger.  
  
Cas ran his fingers through the back of Dean's head with a grin. "Are you excited, honey?"  
  
Dean nodded happily and laughed. "Yes! I'm so excited."  
  
Cas leaned closer and kissed Dean's temple, "good."

* * *

**Day 120/120**  
  
Dean got off work and headed straight home. He had to jump right in the shower and scrub himself clean of all the grease and oil that was caked on his skin. Cas arrived home shortly after. "Dean?" He called walking through the house. He heard the shower running, Dean must've been under a hood all day.  
  
"You're wearing that?" Dean asked walking out of the bathroom.  
  
Cas turned around, "uh, yeah." He retorted.  
  
"It looks good." Dean smiled as he rummaged through the closet for a flannel. He grabbed the purple one, then dug through his dresser for a matching shirt.  
  
"My car or yours?" Cas asked as both of them walked off the porch to the driveway.  
  
Dean glared at him and scoffed, he seemed annoyed, "don't ask stupid questions." He ordered. "You know damn well i'm not driving that piece of shit car of yours."  
  
"It's not a piece of shit, it runs good and it gets me from point A to point B. that's all that matters and it's a newer model, so i'm not complaining." He explained, climbing in the passenger seat of the Impala.  
  
They made it to Ottawa in a half hour. Melissa had been waiting their arrival. She had a huge pile of manilla folders under her arm. Dean exhaled loudly, "good afternoon,gentlemen. How are we doing today?" She asked politely.   
  
Both men smiled, "fantastic, thank you." Castiel replied, folllowing Dean back to her office.  
  
"I trust that the last four months haven't been that much of a nuisance?" She asked with a smile, taking a seat behind her desk.  
  
Castiel chuckled and gripped Dean's hand softly trying to comfort him. "It has been, but we've managed it with no problem."  
  
"Alright. What do you say we get started?" She asked placing the manilla folders in three neat rows across the mahogany desk. "This is just the first handfull of profiles- they contain information about each individual child. Their likes, dislikes, hobbies- that kind of stuff. Now is there certain preferences you have? Whether it be race, age, gender, religion.." She trailed off, looking at the two of them.  
  
"I'd like a boy...if that's possible.." Dean requested quietly.  
  
"Of course!" She exclaimed. She cleared the desk of all the files containing females.   
  
"Also, ages six to ten.." Dean said once more. This time she only removed two files from the desk.  
  
Dean and Castiel took twenty five minutes to discuss the ones they liked and three files remain on the table in front of them. There was a little blond boy with freckles everywhere, he was cute as a button, he was seven. Jake was his name. A dark haired boy, who was nine. His name was Ben and he liked to play video games, and another dark haired boy named Sami who liked to fish, he was eight.  
  
"Finished so soon?" Melissa teased, as she re entered the office. "Usually it takes days...weeks to find the perfect child that fits your requirements. Well you narrowed it down to the three you found most appealing to you?" She asked gesturing to the files in front of her.  
  
"Yes." Dean answered with a nod, "we're torn between these three.." He said with a smile.  
  
"Well, we'll schedule you another day to come in and talk it over some more. Hopefully they're out playing next time. I know how Dean-" Dean raised his head up and glanced at her, "you said you never see them out playing. I know how much you'd like to see the kids in action." She said with a smile. Dean chuckled and nodded in agreement. "You've been asking about them ever since your second homestudy."   
  
As they were on there way out, they walked passed the two way glass and Dean stopped scanning over the large play area, maybe they'd be out next time. He let out a heavy sigh. 

* * *

  
"So what do you think?" Cas asked as they were cuddled up on the couch together watching a movie.  
  
"What do I think about what?" Dean asked glancing at him.  
  
"The profiles we picked today." He said. "What do you think?" He asked running his fingers through Dean's hair.  
  
"Their all three good looking kids." He said with a laugh.   
  
"Yeah," he chuckled in agreement, "Jake is adorable with all this freckles."  
  
"And Sami...Samandriel..man, what a name. It's a goddamn mouthful that's for sure."  
  
"You chose Ben." Castiel reminded. "Why did you chose him?" He asked curiously.  
  
"He looks like a tough kid..I'm not sure really. Like I make up scenarios in my head with him in them and I just- like we're having dinner together as a family, you, me, and the kid. Or going on vacation... We're happy, y'know?"  
  
"So If we were to narrow it down to just one boy, you'd pick Ben?"  
  
"Yes, I would pick him." Dean smiled.  
  
"You do know that there are probably several other families that chose him as well, right?"  
  
Dean nodded, "oh, yeah. I know.."  
  
"So if he were to get placed with another family, what's your plan B?"  
  
Dean deadpanned. "There is no plan B." He said tartly.  
  
"Ellen! We're here!" Dean hollered as he walked through the front door with his hands full. Their nostrils instantly filled with the smell of Ellen’s cooking. Castiel instantly started salivating.  
  
"In the kitchen, boys!" She called.   
  
Dean walked straight toward the counter and sat down the bags that were in his hand, "We got the Solo cups and the barbeque sauce that Bobby wanted for his chicken."   
  
"The old coot's out on the grill." She stated, stepping toward the oven to check her green bean casserole.  
  
"It smells delightful in here, Ellen." Castiel commented with a smirk.  
  
"Thank you, Sweetheart. I made you my famous green bean casserole. I know how much you like it." She smiled.  
  
"Oh no!" He joked with a grin. "Hide it, because i'll eat all of it."  
  
She laughed and pulled him into a hug. "How you been, sugar? How's the thing at the agency going?"  
  
"I'm great! It's going well, though we only just started to search. Dean doesn't want to look anymore because we've got three profiles and we want to narrow it down from there."  
  
"Doesn't that take a couple of months to do? There's so many to choose from." She insisted. "Would you like a beer, honey?" She asked of topic.  
  
"Oh no thank you i'm the DD tonight, do you have anymore of your sweet tea?" He asked politely with a smile. "It does, it takes several months, at least that's what our worker told us. I guess he's so eager to have someone in the house, i don't think he can handle a few months." Ellen poured Cas some sweet and she resumed stirring the mashed potatoes on the stove. "He's so into it, you know? He actually wants this and it makes me happy to see him happy."  
  
She smiled and glanced over at him, "that's good, Castiel. I think when you finally get a little rugrat, and they start living with you. That you may sit back and think "this is my family."   
  
Her comment made Castiel blush. "I'm starting to feel like Dean is my family, granted we've only been together since April, and he still hasn't said he loves me. I feel it, and I guess it's kinda soon to say that because, we've only been together for six months.. A-and-and I think about it sometimes and I can never really picture myself with someone else, though i've tried- and fail, miserably." He chuckled  
  
"Honey, I thought you were part of the family a month after I met you." She joked with a smile.  
  
Bobby walked in the kitchen and sat the plate of meat on the counter, Dean followed suit. "Jo just called. She'll be over shortly, she has a few errands to run."  
  
Dean glanced over at Castiel and held his cup up, as if to ask if he were going to drink. Dean tipped his beer toward Cas and gave him a lazy wink. Bobby looked back and forth between the two grown men. "Y'all are a coupl'a idjits. Stop making oogly eyes at each other and get a damn plate." He ordered, with a roll of his eyes.

* * *

"C'mon big guy, we're home." Castiel patted Dean's chest, startling him from his slumber. He opened the drivers side door and rounded the car, shouldering a very drunk Dean carrying him to the house.  
  
"Have ever told you- you got pretty eyes?" Dean slurred, poking gently at Cas' eyelids as he lead him to the bedroom.  
  
He stumbled against the doorway starting to fall until Cas gasped and pulled him up, "easy! Easy!" He cooed leading Dean over to the bed. He sat him down gently, starting to take his shoes and clothes off.  
  
"Lay down." Cas ordered softly. Dean laid back and got under the covers. Castiel undressed himself until he was just in his boxer briefs, he climbed in next to Dean and shut off the light that was sitting on the night stand. He situated himself until he was comfortable against Dean's back.   
  
Silence engulfed the room, all he could hear was the whirling of the fan blades overhead. "Cas?" Dean whispered. He thought Dean was asleep by now, guess not.  
  
"Yeah?" He answered, his voice barely a whisper.  
  
"I love you."  
  
He knew Dean couldn't see him because his back was toward him and it was pitch black, but Castiel smiled, "I know.." He said in a hushed tone kissing over Dean's shoulder blade, "get some sleep, Dean." He drifted to sleep wrapping his arms around Dean's torso, his face pressed against his back. 

* * *

 

"Morning, sleepyhead." Castiel beamed while standing over the stove making breakfast. He heard a set of feet dragging behind him.  
  
"Morning," Dean said rubbing his eyes. He pulled out a bar stool from island and took a seat, instantly dropping his head to the cold surface in front of him. It felt good on his warm flushed face. "I hate drinking.." He muttered under his arm.  
  
"I find that hard to believe." Castiel told him with a chuckle, sliding a plate in from of him. "Eat this, it'll help your hangover." He said cheerfully. French toast, eggs, and really greasy bacon.   
  
"Oh my god, you are the best!" Dean said when he saw the heaping plate of food in front of him. Castiel sat across from him, sipping his coffee,watching him eat his breakfast.  
  
Dean smiled a little, "why are you so happy, this morning?"   
  
Castiel sat his coffee cup down and tried not to smile so hard, but he did anyway. "Do you remember anything you said last night?" He waited for answer. Nothing. "Anything at all?" He said, his voice hopeful.  
  
Dean racked his brain for a second trying to remember last night's events. Ellen's. Dinner. Beer. Beer. Beer. Tequila. Tequila. Vodka. Beer. Car. Sleep. Cas. Front door. Pretty eyes. Love- wait! What? Dean shook his head, pulling him from his thoughts. A smirk pulling at the corner of his mouth. "I told you last night, didn't I?" He asked bashfully.  
  
Cas grinned and nodded once. "Yes you did." He smiled.  
  
Dean laughed, hiding his face in the crook of his arm so Cas couldn't see the blush that spread like wildfire across his face. He lifted his head up and rested his chin on his arms. "How long've you been waiting for that?"  
  
Cas shrugged and chuckled, "five months, give or take."  
  
"You're a patient man, Novak." He laughed "Leave it to me to tell you the three words you've been longing to hear for five months, and it comes out of my mouth while i'm highly intoxicated."  
  
"I don't mind, drunk people tell the truth." He laughed.

* * *

  
"So we're still set on those three then?" Melissa asked holding her hands in front of here.  
  
"Yes, well I'm not so sure about Dean over here-" Cas said pointing toward him. "He's already narrowed it down I think." He chuckled softly.  
  
"Yeah?" She smiled. "Which one did you choose?"  
  
"Uh, Ben." He said confidently with a smile.  
  
"Hm.." Melissa said to herself as she flipped through the files. "Ben. Ben. Ben. Ah! Here we go!" She said pulling his file out and placing it in front of the two men in front of her. "What is it that piqued your interest about Ben, Dean?"  
  
"Some of his likes are similar to mine..he looks like a really smart kid." He said.  
  
Melissa smiled at him, "that's good. Just as a warning though, two more families have also selected Ben as well.." She explained cautiously.  
  
Dean felt like he was going to puke, his heart dropped to his feet. Hold your shit together until you walk out of this building, Winchester! It's literally the end of the world. I want to curl up in the fetal position and sleep for a few days. I'm not gonna get him, some other family is. I might as well back out now. I'm not gonna get him, I want him and i'm not gonna get him because something will happen and I just- he tried swallowing the lump in his throat. Still there. Cas looked at him with worried eyes, Dean opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out.  
  
"Could I trouble you for some water?" Castiel asked Melissa. She smiled and nodded walking out of the room. He immediately turned to Dean, "what was that?" He asked.  
  
Dean's eyes were starting to become glassy. He was kind of squinting, they burned. "We're not gonna get him, Cas." He whispered, his voice cracking a little. He wiped his eyes to keep the tears from falling.   
  
Melissa returned with a bottle of water and handed it to Castiel, who thanked her. He opened it and passed it off to Dean who took a big swig of it before he spoke. "I guess we coul-" he choked out, Castiel gripped his arm gently and looked at him.  
  
"We could pick another, if you'd like." Castiel insisted.  
  
"No." Melissa shook her head, "that's not necessary, really. If you want him, i'll make it happen. Don't get your hopes up just yet, Dean. The other families still have to go through all the legal stuff and see if they're eligible to care for him."

* * *

  
"It's not the end of the world, Dean. If another family gets him there's nothing we can do about it. We'll just pick someone else." Castiel explained from the bathroom with a tooth brushin his hand.  
  
Dean's face was red and his eyes were irritated from crying. "There's just something about the kid, Cas. I-I can't put my finger on it. That's why I need him. I need him. Not some other kid. If he gets put with another family, I will stop this entire thing." He said bluntly. "Then I won't have a family at all, how about that?" He sneered angrily.  
  
Cas pulled back the covers climbing into bed. He ran his fingers through Dean's hair. "I'm your family." He reminded him softly. "Melissa said she'll do everything possible to get him for us. There's no reason to cry, baby. You're getting so worked up over a minor situation."  
  
"But it's like- I feel like i'm in elementary school again.. Like you know how your teacher used to put the kids' in the entire classes name in a hat and pick one from it? That's what this feels like, and when I think about it like that..it freaks me out because my name was never drawn when that shit happened. And if we don't get him, i'm going to fall into a state of major depression and probably drink my weight in booze and become a fucking alcoholic just like my fucking dad."  
  
Castiel gripped his shoulder and looked at him. "Calm down." He ordered. "Close your eyes and take a deep breathe." Dean did exactly that. "Okay, now look at me." He demanded softly. Dean met his blue eyes and stared into them. "You, need to stop psyching yourself out all the time. Stop with all the negative shit. Stop." He breathed. "We are going to get him. Melissa is going to help us. Ben will be apart of this family. And we will smother him with hugs and kisses and spoil the shit out of him." He paused and chuckled. "Okay, maybe not spoil him, because we're mechanics and teachers for fucks sake, but we will make him happy." He slid down to lie on his back, Dean did the same and buried his face in Castiel's neck. Cas peered down and looked at Dean. "If I hear that shit come out of your mouth again, I will shove my size 11 shoe so far up your ass, you'll taste rubber for a month." He threatened.  
  
Dean laughed against his shoulder, "sorry." He apologized quietly.   
  
"I don't like to hear you talk like that."


	4. Exchange

"Mr. Tran? It's Melissa Taft from LifeCare Adoption Agency, I may have another potential family for Ben." She smiled.  
  
"Hey Melissa, that's great news! I'll let Ben know, he's getting really excited over all these families." He chuckled. "Do you have a scheduled time for the family?" He asked  
  
"No, I don't. Not yet." She replied. "I wanted to make sure your schedule was clear before I gave them a date." She explained.  
  
"Okay, great i'll double check my schedule and get back with you as soon as possible. Then we'll see about setting something up. In the mean time, could you maybe fax me their homestudy files?"   
  
"Okay, thank you so much that shouldn't be a problem at all. I'll see that it gets to you some time today." She said politely.

* * *

  
**Message from: Cas at 11:43AM:** _I just got a call from Melissa, she got ahold of Ben's social worker in Overland Park. We have a meeting in two weeks with the two of them_  
  
 **Message to: Cas at 12:17PM:** _Awesome! You filled out an app a few weeks ago at the agency, right? When we went together?_  
  
 **Message from: Cas at 12:33PM:** _Yes! She has it already._  
  
Castiel came home around 1:30, he had two morning classes at the college then stopped by the hospital to visit his brother on his lunch break.   
  
He had a paper to write on his exprience in the classroom, almost every time he got thrown in there for two weeks. He didn't mind it too much because he jumped around from grade to grade. He mostly got stumped on the harder questions, and Professor Crowley helped him with that, but there's one question he didn't answer because it's really simple and it shouldn't be that hard.  
  
What grade level did you like the most? Do you see yourself teaching that level of students in the future? What do you like about it? What don't you like? Explain.  
  
If he were being honest with himself, that sounded like an end of the semester question. He didn't want to answer it because he wouldn't know what to write. He had only been in observing three grades since start of the school year, and that was four months ago.  
  
"Well I don't know much about it, she called Cas when he was in school. I only know that we have a meeting with Melissa and Ben's social worker in two weeks."   
  
Dean's home.  
  
Castiel turned away from his laptop momentarily and watched Dean walk across the livingroom. He disappeared in the hallway and Cas went back to work on his paper.  
  
Dean was off the phone when he stepped into the kitchen. He stood behind Cas and wrapped his arm around his waist, leaning down a little kissing the side of his neck.  
  
"What are you doing?" Cas asked, a smile spreading across his face.  
  
"Nothing, just got off the phone with Jo." He planted a kiss on the top of his head. "She won't stop nagging me about the LifeCare stuff."  
  
"No.." He chuckled. "I meant what are you doing with your hands? You better not be covered in oil and it better not get on my clothes. I like this shirt."  
  
"Head to toe, baby." He whispered into the younger man's hair with a devious smirk. "Just like you like it." He stated as he brought his other arm around his waist and clasped his hands together. "You do like it, right?" He asked.  
  
"Yeah, I like it." He said, smiling bashfully.   
  
Dean leaned down and put his lips against Castiel's. "I knew it." He teased with a laugh. "So should we talk more about this social worker thing?"  
  
"Yeah, Melissa told me, we have a meeting with Ben's social worker, his name is Kevin Tran, he works at Adoption and Beyond which is in Overland Park. That's where Ben's at." Cas explained closing his laptop. He sure wasn't going to get anything done with Dean talking five miles a minute.  
  
"Overland Park is an hour from here..." Dean pointed out.  
  
"So?" Cas shrugged, shaking his head. "It's no different from driving to Ottawa. That's a half hour from here."  
  
"So what if the meeting's at this other agency? The one that Ben's at? I don't know how to get there." Dean said.  
  
"This is why Google Maps exists, because retards like you need a little guidance." Castiel teased.  
  
"Hey!" Dean yelled across the island. "You're sleeping on the couch tonight, buddy." He ordered with a laugh.  
  
"Oh no i'm not!" Cas scoffed, shaking his head. "You put me on that couch, i'm finding a new boyfriend." He teased. "A prettier one, with better hair."  
  
"Good luck with that." Dean shot back with a chuckle. "I'm the prettiest fucker you're ever gonna get." He winked at him.  
  
Castiel stared at him for a minute, "you're probably right." He mumbled quietly under his breath.  
  
Dean smiled and nodded, "there's no "probably" about it. You know it and I know it."

* * *

  
"Will you be there with us during all of it?" Dean asked.  
  
"Absolutely. Haven't I always been with you since the start of this, Dean?" She said with a smile.  
  
"Yes, I guess you have." He chuckled. "Since Lawrence is an hour from there, will we have fewer visits with Ben? Does he get a say in any of this at all?" He asked.  
  
"Actually, you may think an hour is quite far but, sometimes we have families from four states over that only visit the kids only twice a month. But circumstances with you are different, you guys will have alot more visits than one of the other families that choose Ben as well, based on where you live." She gave Dean a smile. "You said you didn't want a child that was out of the state. And to answer the second part of the question, no he does not. Seeing on how Ben is still a minor we have to make that desicion for him. We have to chose a family that will meet his everyday needs, food, clothed, sheltered and TLC most importantly."  
  
Dean smiled and nodded, he relaxed a little knowing that one of the families lives that far away, so he and Castiel have more of a chance of adopting him rather than someone else adopting him. Living that close is a plus too, that means more visits and more visits means bonding with Ben,  and Dean would really like that.  
  
"So the agency has to choose the perfect home to place him in?"  
  
"Correct." She nodded.  
  
It took Dean only twenty five minutes to get home on the back roads, he could speed and get home in time to meet Castiel at the door and they could go straight to Sam and Jess' to get them up to date with everything that's been happening so far.  
  
Plus Jess made apple pie for dessert. How could Dean turn down pie?  
  
Dean knocked twice and opened the door, "Sammy?" He called from the front door.  
  
"Dean," Cas scolded him, nudging his arm. "Do you just barge into people's home univited?"   
  
Dean huffed a sigh, "Cas, relax! It's Sammy, he doesn't care."  
  
Dean lead an aggervated Cas down the hallway and turned the corner. Why didn't he just cut through the living room to get to the kitchen?  
  
"Hey, Dean." Jessica greeted him with a hug. She pulled away from Dean and stepped sideways a bit a hugged Castiel. "Hey Cas, how are you? I'm so excited to hear about how the adoption's going." She giggled, turning back to the stove.   
  
"Whatcha cookin' over there, Jess?" Dean asked curiously, rocking back and forth on his heels and pursing his lips.  
  
"Vegetable soup, it's almost ready. I started it before I went to bed last night."  
  
Cas heard foot steps behind him and he turned his head. "Oh, hello Sam." He greeted the tall man with a smile.  
  
"Hey Cas, Dean." He nodded his head toward Dean, his long hair bouncing a little.  
  
"Ready!" Jess said pulling bowls from the cabinet.   
  
They dished up their bowls and sat the table. Dean put almost an entire bag of cheese in his bowl and mixed it in watching the hot soup melt the cheese in seconds. "So, you guys are done with the homestudy part, right?"   
  
Castiel nodded, blowing lightly on his soup to cool it down. "Yes, we're on step four right now, which is exchanging information with Ben's social worker. He'll look through our homstudy information we did back in May and the it goes from there." He explained, before taking the bite.  
  
"You've already gotten him then?" Jessica asked.  
  
"No, no." Dean said shaking his head. "There are other families that choose Ben as well, his social worker gets to choose that family that Ben's placed with." Dean took a huge bite, it was disgusting. Maybe next time he should go easy on the cheese. "Which we're hoping it's us that gets choosen because Melissa said that one family lives a few states away."  
  
Sam grinned, "so, what happens after this step?"  
  
"Oh!" Castiel smiled. "More information about Ben is given to us. I'm not saying that he'll be ours for sure, and after that we'll have visits with him and all that. If Kevin chooses us."  
  
Sam filled a tupperware container with vegetable soup and gave it to Cas to take home. They said goodbye and walked outside to the car.  
  
Dean hung the keys on the hook by the door and kicked his boots off. Castiel walked in behind him and turned the corner to the kitchen and put the plasic container in the fridge. As soon as Cas was done he met Dean in the bedroom and crawled in bed next to him as soon as he stripped down to his boxer briefs.  
  
"Do think the meeting will go well?" Dean asked.  
  
"Yes, Dean. Nothing will go wrong."  
  
"How do you know that, what if one of the others get him? Just because they live out in the middle of fucking nowhere, doesn't mean that they can't not get him. But that does mean more visits for us." Dean said cheerfully.

* * *

  
This is like when they had to wait for the agency to clear their homestudy. Except they didn't have to wait four months only two weeks, but it sure the hell felt like it.  
  
But the wait only made Dean go crazy, Castiel was just fine with it. He didn't cry, he wasn't anxious..ok, so Cas was anxious but, that's only because Dean was anxious. He comforted Dean when he needed it and Dean was grateful for that.  
  
Now Dean's his nerves got the best of him. What if something happens to the car on the way there? What if they lost our homestudy papers? What if they cancelled our meeting? What if they find a reason that we shouldn't get Ben?  
  
He was sitting in the parking lot of Adoption and Beyond. His hands were sweating and his heart was beating so fast he was pretty sure he cracked a rib. "Cas?" He asked nervously, pounding his palm against the steering wheel. "I-I can't go in."  
  
Castiel gives Dean a once-over and shakes his head, "w-what? You can too!" He chuckled. "Why can't you?"  
  
Dean held out his sweaty, trembling hand. "I can't, Cas..my nerves are shot. I'm gonna be sick."  
  
Castiel took Dean's shaky hand in his and gripped it tightly so it wasn't trembling anymore. "You can do it. Nothing is going to happen. Deep breaths." He ordered softly.  
  
Dean sat there for a few seconds breathing in through his nose and out his mouth until he was calm again. Then the two of them stepped out of the car and walked to the front entrance metting up with Melissa in the waiting area.  
  
She stood up as the were walking toward her. She smiled and extended her hand to greet them. "Hey fellas, you ready?" She turned her head and smiled at Dean, chuckling a little. "Nervous?"  
  
"Just a little." He replied rubbing the back of his neck.  
  
"Well, here he comes." She said exhaling deeply, as she straightened up her suit jacket.  
  
 _He's asian...and how old is this guy? He looks a little young to be a case worker. Maybe a little bit younger than Cas..alright time to stop being a rude, judgemental asshole._ Dean shook himself from his thoughts as Kevin Tran, Ben's social worker,  approached the three of them in the waiting area.   
  
He gave a wide smile and extended his hand for Dean, then Cas, "ah you must be the Winchesters, it's so nice to finally meet you." Dean froze. _Did he just call Cas a Winchester? Castiel James Winchester...Castiel Winchester._ He grinned to himself. _That has a nice ring to it._  
  
He finally shook Melissa's hand, "you must be Melissa Taft, correct? We spoke a few times over the phone." He turned on his heels, "if you'll just follow me, we'll get started." He lead the three of them to what looked like his office. It was through a few doos and around a couple corners. Melissa shut the door behind her and took a seat beside Castiel.  
  
Kevin smiled, "I just wanted to say that I am currently in the process of looking over your homestudy. I want to apologize for not being finished with it yet, there is still a bit of your information I need to go over, since some of it changed throughout the duration of the homestudy." He smiled up at Castiel. "I understand that you're in your last year of college at the University of Kansas, Castiel."  
  
He nodded with a grin. "Yes, that's right. I'm working on receiving my Bachelor's degree in teaching in the Spring. Then I want to start teaching at Deerfield Elementary at the start of the new school year."  
  
"Are you excited to start teaching?" Kevin asked.  
  
"Yes!" He exclaimed. "Though i'm unsure about what grade level to teach."  
  
"Then I guess you have some thinking to do over the next few months." Kevin said with a chuckle. He shifted his eyes toward Dean. "And Dean, you're a mechanic?"   
  
"Yeah, I-uh, at Singer's Auto Shop."  
  
"How long have you worked there?" Kevin asked politely.  
  
"Almost eight years." He said.  
  
"So you're pretty good at what you do, then?" He laughed a little.  
  
Dean nodded and chuckled, "yes. I'd have to say that I am. But, I mainly work on the classic stuff."  
  
"And uh, I, um...your parents?" Kevin asked cautiously.  
  
Dean's body felt like it was going to cave in on itself. He felt like his throat was closing. He doesn't talk about his parents. He hates talking about it. He didn't have a problem with it last time, we'll he kinda did, but Cas wanted to know about them. Castiel quickly gripped his hand tightly. "Calm down, ok? Breathe. He just wants to know." He whispered soothingly, running his fingers through Dean's tawny hair.  
  
Dean inhaled deeply, "fi-fif-fifteen years. They- they passed fifteen years ago." He breathed, slowly.  
  
I'm sorry to hear that." Kevin said sympathetically. "So no potential grandparents, then?"  
  
Dean looked at Kevin and was going to shake his head. "I-"  
  
Castiel placed a soft hand against Dean's back and cut him off. "Uh, y-yes. Family friends took Dean and his little brother in as their own shortly after they passed. They are like family to them They raised him into the man he is today." Castiel said with a proud smile, studying Dean's face for a second.  
  
"I can see that, Castiel." Kevin smiled. "A fine yound man at that."  
  
After the meeting, Cas and Dean walked to the lobby and met with Melissa. "You did great today, guys." She said with a smile. "We'll meet back here next week. That's when we'll know which of you gets Ben!" She said excitedly.  
  
Cas nodded and shook her hand, as did Dean. They made their way to the car and Dean threw Castiel the keys. "Thanks for saving my ass in there, I don't know what I  would've done if you hadn't jumped in like that." Dean explained tapping the roof of his car. "You can drive babe, i'm a little shaky." He said climbing in the passenger side.  
  
Castiel slid in next to him and gave him a chaste kiss as he started the car and the engine roared to life, ringing in his ears. "That's what i'm here for, baby. To save your ass." He said with a shit eatting grin as he pulled out of the parking lot.

* * *

  
Dean's heart was still racing when they walked through the door. He felt like he was having a panic attack. He didn't know if it was from Kevin bringing up his parents or the nervousness from the Ben thing. He felt a rush of sadness quake through his entire body, he slid down the wall and started crying.  
  
Cas did a once around to see if the flowers outside needed watered, which they probably did, desparately since it hasn't rained in three days. He came in through the back door. Why and how it was unlocked, he didn't want to know. He walked through the kitchen and saw the top of Dean's head. Why was hecsitting on the floor? And...wait! Is he crying? "Dean?" He called as he rounded the couch finding him against the wall with his head in his hand, crying uncontrollably.  
  
"Dean?" He squatted next to him lifting his head, "Dean, why are you crying, honey?" He asked softly holding Dean's face in his hands.  
  
He didn't answer. He just stared at him through red, puffy eyes. He scoffed and shook his head, "why," he started, but got cut off by a deep breath he didn't know he needed to take. "W-why did he sound so disgusted by what I do for a living?" He sniffled. "I can provide for my family working off cars! Isn't there a roof over our heads? I bought this house with money that I earned working my ass off in a garage, fixing classic fucking cars! Why is being a teacher a much more respectable job than mine?" He scoffed and shook his head at Cas. "I mean, they sit on their fucking ass all day and boss kids around, for fuck sake. Who wants to do that for a living?"  
  
Cas knew, that Dean knew that he wanted to become a teacher and hecalso knew that it was a rhetorical question and normally he would defend himself, but right now Dean is distraught because someone with a silver spoon shoved up their ass, insulted his job. Any other time Cas would be quick to defend himself, but he just pulled Dean closer to him instead.  
  
"And-and who the fuck would bring that up? He knew. He knew, that they passed. I wrote it down when I filled out the goddamn paper work! What? Does he need verbal comfromation? Does he want me to go into detail? Yeah, my mom was in the kitchen, preparing dinner one night for our family, when our gas stove blew up in her fucking face." He explained curtly. "And my dad tried to help her when the kitchen curtains caught fire and soon spread through the entire fucking house!" He was getting worked up again and his voice was getting louder and more shaky. "Sorry to inconveince you with my dead fucking parents, Mr. Tran. My deepest fucking apologies!"  
  
Cas held Dean's head to his chest to make him shut up because, the way he was carrying on about the sitiuation made him cry as well. Yes. If it was clearly printed on paper that Dean's parents were deceased, he didn't have to bring it up, but he did it for his own curiousity.  
  
"And now, thanks to my dead fucking parents, I don't get a family, and that poor kid will get placed with a family that probably just wants him for the fucking check." Dean buried his face in Castiel's shirt and started sobbing again. "I told you something like this was going to happen...this is such bullshit." He sobbed weakly.  
  
Castiel ran his hand through the back of Dean's hair to try to calm him down. "Shh, I know." He said in a low, soothing voice.  
  
He had no clue how, but Dean could've swore he fell asleep against Cas when they were sitting on the wallen when hexhad his fucking fucking meltdown, so how the fuck did he wake up in bed the next morning? Did he drag himself to bed? He doesn't remember.  
  
"Hey, Cas?" He asked rubbing his eyes sleepily.  
  
"What can I do for you, Prince Charming?" He said with a smile.  
  
"Did I fall asleep on the couch?" Castiel peered up at him from the paper hecwas reading. "How did I get in the bedroom?" He ask confused.  
  
Castiel chuckled, "I carried you." He explained going back to his newspaper.  
  
Dean laughed. "You're a horrible liar. You did not."  
  
"Yeah, I did." He deadpanned, peering over the newspaper, his black rimmed glasses sliding down his nose. "I benched 310 in high school. I was on the wrestling team."  
  
Dean's mouth dropped open, he didn't speak for a couple of seconds. Then Castiel saw him grin. "That's what made you gay I bet." Dean gave him a wink.  
  
"Fuck you, Winchester." He said jokingly as his cheeks flushed pink.  
  
"I bet you like the leotards that they wear."  
  
"Shut the fuck up." Castiel scoffed. "They are called singlets." He said matter-a-factly.

* * *

  
"Cas!" Dean said in a loud whisper, trying to pull out of the death grip castiel currently had of his hand. "Let go! I'm not doing this! I can't!"  
  
Castiel stopped dead in his tracks and stared at Dean with icey blue orbs. "You can, and you will. Even if it kills you.."   
  
"Cas.." He begged, his voice trembling, almost in tears.  
  
"Dean," Castiel said taking a seat and putting his hand on Dean's. "It's going to be okay, whatever happens in that office..you still have me." He squeezed his hand gently. "Okay? Please don't forget that. I am still your family. And if we don't get Ben, we will try again until we get someone else." He reassured him.   
  
"Mr. Winchester?" The receptionist called. The two men turned in their seats to look at her. "Mr. Tran will see you now."  
  
Dean exhaled loudly and stood up and walked slowly beside Castiel to Kevin's office. His legs were shaking, but he made it to the door.  
  
"Dean, Castiel. What pleasure it is to see you again, come on in and lets get started." Kevin said as he pulled out his chair from behind the desk and took a seat.  
  
Kevin slid another folder toward Castiel, this one was blue. He opened it and it contained a little more information about Ben. His past schools, what he does for fun, things he likes, things he doesn't.  
  
Dean glanced at Kevin and pointed to the folder Castiel was looking through. "This is for our use, for us to keep? Or would you like it back?" He asked. Castiel peered up and waited for an answer.  
  
Kevin shook his head, "that is yours to keep.. When social workers are at the point where they place the child with a family, your worker and the child's worker exchange information. So Melissa sent me your homestudy and you received a little more of Ben's information."  
  
Dean thought that meeting went well, better than the last one. He was more on edge than he normally was, but just because Kevin gave them more information about Ben, doesn't necessarily mean that Ben is theirs just yet, although Dean and Castiel desparately hoped so, but more Dean than Cas.


	5. Learn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Currently working on chapter six!

"I've finished reviewing both of your home study reports. The descriptiveness on your home and your neighborhood is astonishing! Your home was build in the year 2012, and you purchased it with a Miss Carmen Porter?" He asked. "I read that things didn't turn out very well with the two of you.." Dean shook his head. Kevin turned and focused his attention on Castiel. "And Castiel, you're family is in Pontiac Illinois? You moved to Lawrence three years ago with your brother Gabriel and your sister Anna."  
  
Castiel just smiled and nodded his head, "yep."  
  
"Well, as far as things with Ben go..i've already passed his profile along to another family. But you're welcome to keep searching if you'd like, I understand you had two more wonderful profiles picked out."  
  
Dean felt like he was going to vomit all over Kevin's floor. Castiel looked at Dean for confirmation. He just smiled politely.  
  
Dean hardly had the strength to carry himself to the bedroom when he walked through the front door. When he finally did get to the bedroom, he felt like he collapsed on the bed. He curled into himself and bawled.

* * *

  
"Hey Bobby, it's Cas. I think Dean might need another day or two." He suggested as he held the phone to his ear.  
  
"That bad, huh?" The other line was quiet for a minute. "I suppose I can have Garth, Ash or Benny fill his days. How's he holding up?" Bobby asked sympathetically.  
  
"Not so good, he hasn't gotten out of bed in almost four days. When he's awake, which is only for a short amount of time, he spends it drinking until he passes out again. I have to bathe him, if I don't, he just sits under the shower head, he hasn't eaten but maybe a few crackers here and there, he's starting to get a little scruffy. Which is sort of okay I guess, I like it, but he never acts like this. I don't know what to do." He explained.  
  
"He gets like that sometimes. Give it time, Castiel. He'll be back to normal in a few."  
  
"I don't think that's possible, Bobby.. He was hoping for Ben, since the first time we looked through those profiles. He doesn't want another kid and I don't know how to help him."  
  
"Well, it's a damn cruel world we're livin' in, kid. We can't always get what we want. The only thing we can do, is accept when shit happens and move on."  
  
"Yeah..I hope he'll move on."  
  
"We'll i'll give him a few more days. But only a few! I'm short handed, Castiel. I can't have my employees taking extended vacations. But given his situation, i'll let it slide."  
  
"Thank you, Bobby. I really appreciate it."  
  
Castiel pushed his phone back onto his pocket and made his way to his bedroom, pushing the door open slowly. "Dean?" He whispered. He was snoring, so he had to have been asleep for awhile. "Dean.." Castiel crossed the floor and gently shook his shoulder, he didn't stir.  
  
As much as Castiel wanted to stay at the house and keep an eye on Dean, he had a class that started at noon. But he didn't think Dean would be up moving around any time soon, so he left and headed for the campus.  
  
He stayed a few minutes after class to talk to Professor Crowley about his paper that he handed in. He told Castiel that he could answer the question he had trouble on, closer toward the end of the year.  
  
As he was walking down the hallway trying to exit the building he dug in his pocket for his phone. One text message and two missed calls. One of the calls was from Adoption and Beyond.  
  
He called them back. It rang twice before someone answered. "Adoption and Beyond, this is Kevin Tran."  
  
"Hi Kevin, it's Castiel Winchester." He lied as he got in his car and started the engine. "Sorry I missed your call. I was in class.."   
  
"Oh no, that's fine, my apologies!" Kevin said.  
  
"I just wanted to call you back to see what it is you wanted, I thought it might've been an important matter." He explained as he pulled out on to the street.  
  
"Oh, yes! It's very important indeed and I have some very good news for the two of you."  
  
Castiel shuddered and felt goose bumps cover his body. He held his breathe and waited for Kevin to start talking again.  
  
"The family that I had originally picked for Ben...they are a little bit ahead of you in the "learn that a child has been picked for you" step and they had their parental rights legally terminated this morning, for the kids they had picked out themselves. So I was wondering if you wanted to make that long drive to Overland Park, I would like to give you his profile..if that's alright."  
  
Castiel's face lit up, he grinned so hard his ears were turning red, "th-that is, t-that's fantastic, Kevin. Thank you so much. Could I swing by the house and get Dean? What time does your offices close?"  
  
"Yes, of course. Our offices? They close at 6:00, so you have more than enough time." He explained.  
  
"Okay, we will be there soon enough." Castiel told him.  
  
"Alright, thank you for getting back to me Castiel."  
  
"You're welcome."  
  
Castiel hung up when he was a block from his house. He pulled in the driveway and made his way inside.  
  
Dean was sitting at the kitchen table with a bottle of Jack in his hand, Cas' smile disappeared instantly. "Okay, you know what?" Dean looked up at him, almost scared that he was going to hurt him or something. "We're not doing this.." He gestured to Dean then the bottle of Jack. "This right here," he gestured again, shaking his head. "This is done." He explained, ripping the bottle from Dean's hand.  
  
"Cas.." He protested weakly, holding his hand out. "Give it back, please? I need it."   
  
"No, you don't need it, i'm sick of watching you mope around the house! It upsets me to see you like this!" He yelled. "Go jump in the shower, brush your teeth, get dressed and Jesus Christ, please shave your face..we're leaving."  
  
Dean ran his hand over his scruff, feeling a little insulted. He gazed up at Cas. "Where are we going?"  
  
Cas pulled him from the chair, helping him to his feet. "Don't worry about it, go shower, we only have a couple hours."  
  
Showered and cleaned up, Dean stood in front of the bathroom mirror with his razor in his hand, he started to reach for the shaving cream when he felt a grip on his wrist. "Don't! I was wrong, don't shave your face. I like the scruff. It makes you look a little older." Castiel said, as he backed away with a wink.  
  
Dean scoffed and shook his head, sitting his razor on the sink. He walked in the bedroom and dried off, getting dressed in the outfit Cas laid out across the bed for him.  
  
They were in the car driving down the interstate. Dean was watching the other cars fly by. "So," Dean breathed. "Are you gonna tell me where we're going?" He mumbled, his hand smushed against his face.  
  
Cas shook his head and grinned, "nope, but you're gonna like it."  
  
"Okay." Dean said, sinking further down in his seat sliding his hand into Castiel's.  
  
Castiel finally pulled into the Adoption and Beyond parking lot an hour later and Dean instantly groaned. "Cas..I don't want to fucking be here!" He complained.  
  
Castiel got out of the car and slapped the the roof. "You don't have to go in, baby. I'm just gonna run in real quick." Dean watched him cross the parking lot and walk into the building.  
  
Dean was still slumped against the passenger side window when Castiel came out of the building twenty minutes later, he saw him smiling.  
  
"Why are you all smiley?" Dean asked, sounding kind of annoyed. Cas pulled something from behind his back and pushed it against Dean's chest, then started the car.  
  
"Wha-" Dean started to say, Cas continued to grin as he pulled out of the parking lot. Dean opened the manilla folder and saw a picture of Ben. He looked over at Cas with wide eyes. "W-we got him?" He asked softly in disbelief.  
  
Cas gave him a smirk. "We got him."   
  
Dean was speechless, his heart was racing. "Cas... How did you get this?" He quaked.  
  
"I missed a call while I was in Professor Crowley's class today and it was Kevin. So ai called him back and he said that the people that were originally supposed to get Ben...y'know the rednecks with the fucked up teeth and no hair? And the lady looked like she had rolls on her rolls?" Dean gagged at Castiel's description, Castiel just laughed.   
  
Dean had no clue who the fuck he was talking about. "That's disgusting and I don't know who you're talking about, because i'm too fucking busy vomiting in my mouth.." He explained sarcastically.  
  
"You know, the fat lady? With the cankles, in the mumu dress? The one with the short, stick skinny husband...that had the pedo stache and two teeth? Those guys. They sat a row across from us in the waiting room, remember?" He explained.  
  
"Cas, stop it, i'm gonna puke all over you. Yes! I remember now. I don't need details of what they looked like." Dean grimaced and shook the vivid imagine from his mind. "What I don't understand is, how, okay..you have them and you have us," he gestured back and forth between Cas and himself. "I don't understand how Kevin picked them over us. I mean, I don't care, i'm not sinling them out or anything because of our wealth status, okay? But we live in a nice neighborhood, with fenced in yards and shit, they probably live on a farm that's infested with parvo and other diseases. And i'm not saying they have about fifteen foster kids running around, but they probably have fifteen foster kids running around." He explained.  
  
Dean talked all the way home and the conversation continued when after they walked through the front door. Dean was clutching the manilla folder under he placed it on the island.  
  
"And I know for a fact that they don't tell you that they love you individually, because I was in a group home for boys for two months before my dad died, without Sammy because I got the five finger discount on a jar of peanut butter and a loaf of bread..and there were like eighteen other boys there."   
  
"You got arrested when you were younger?" Castiel's eyes widened in surprise.  
  
"Dude, I did a lot of things when I was younger that I ain't fucking proud of."  
  
Castiel winced. If you looked at Dean now you would find that really hard to believe. Or anything else in Dean's past.  
  
"All i'm saying is that, Ben has probably never heard the words "I love you" said to his face and the poor kid probably believed whoever it was who told him. 'Cause you know people today, throwin' that shit around like it's nothin'."  
  
Cas nodded in agreement. "Are you happy, now that you got what you wanted?" He asked with a smile, squeezing Dean's hand gently.  
  
"Yes!" Dean exclaimed seriously. "But how the fuck did he choose them over us to begin with?" He asked again.  
  
"Oh my god! Will you shut the hell up already? Jesus Christ, does it really matter anymore? At least we got him!" Castiel groaned. Dean sounded like a goddamn broken record.  
  
"You know what? I bet you I know why.." Dean said.  
  
Cas slammed his hand on the table and rolled his eyes dramatically, "why? Why did they choose them over us? Fucking tell me!"  
  
"Because you have no family in Kansas, because you're from Illinois, right? And the whole thing with John and Mary, the fire thing. So basically we're not fit to handle a child because our family is incomplete and doesn't meet their standards."  
  
"No, that's not the reason. The reason is probably this, that family has done the adoption and foster care thing for a long ass time and they are more experienced than a guy, whose girlfriend of three years left him out of the blue and he thought it'd be a good idea to adopt a human rather than a cat.  
  
"A kid is much better than a cat! Think about it, if I would've gotten a cat... I would be lonely, I would've never met you, you wouldn't be living here right now, and we wouldn't be sitting here having this conversation. And face it, at least kids don't try to hurt you unless you provoke them." Dean shrugged with a smirk. "Cats on the other hand, are fucking assholes. They scratch you, they claw your shit to shreds, they don't like to cuddle, and they're high fucking maintenance."  
  
"I swear you were a woman in your past life. You complain more than anyone I know."  
  
"Fuck, Cas!" Dean yelled and looked at Castiel with worried eyes. "What are we going to do about the office? There's a bunch of shit in there.." He explained.  
  
"I guess we'll have to move it to the basement or have a yard sale I don't know. If we sell the desk ma-"  
  
"Whoa, whoa, whoa! No one is selling the desk! Mom gave that to me.." Dean told him.  
  
"Babe! It's taking up a lot of room in that room. You can barely get in the door. Ben needs a bed more than you need Mary's desk." He explained.  
  
"Or we could sell the desk on Douglas County Yard Sale," Dean suggested. "Sell it for 120 dollar. That way we can at least buy a bed."  
  
"Your family will help us buy the shit, Dean. They're excited for you- for us, to get Ben. Hell, Jo wanted to buy a bed and a dresser three months ago..and she would've if I didn't tell her not to."

* * *

  
Castiel was placed in a third grade classroom this week, which he didn't mind because he has to get the feel of each classroom before he can decide which grade level he likes.  
  
Dean cursed when he stopped at the house on his lunch break and saw Cas' wallet on his dresser. Should I take it to him? That's a ten minute drive to Deerfield. For a wallet. But I don't want him to starve. I'm going, plus i've never seen him in a professional setting before. He smiled and grabbed the wallet from the dresser. He finished his lunch and left the house.  
  
When he got there, he walked into the main office and saw a young woman, probably about Cas' age, maybe a little younger. Miss Bender. "Hello." She greeted him with a soft smile.  
  
Dean smiled back at her. "Hi, I was wonder if you could tell me what classroom Castiel Novak is aiding in today?"  
  
"Sure, just give me one second." She replied politely as she stood up and walked over to the the opposite wall and looked at a list, probably a list of extensions for the classrooms. Then she walked back over to the desk that Dean was leaning against and flipped through a book. "Mr. Novak is in room  236 with Mrs. Blake."  
  
Dean smiled and looked a little confused, "could you tell me where that is, I haven't been here for years." He chuckled nervously.  
  
"Sure," she laughed. "Walk out of this office, turn right, and walk all the way down the hall until you get to the end, her classroom should be on the left." Dean smiled and thanked her and walked out the door.  
  
He talked to himself the entire way to the classroom. When he saw Castiel sitting at one of the desks in the corner, making small talk with the teacher as her kids worked on a paper, Dean smiled and lightly tapped on the door.  
  
When Castiel made eye contact, Dean could see him blush. dean walked across the room and smiled. "What are you doing here?" Castiel asked in low surprised whisper.  
  
Dean waved the black wallet in the air, "I figured you might wanna eat something today." He chuckled and handed it to Castiel.  
  
"Thank you," Cas said with a smile. He glanced over at Sarah who was giving Dean a once-over. He cleared his throat and sat up. "Oh uh Dean, this is Sarah. Sarah, Dean."  
  
He smiled and shook her hand. "Nice to meet you, Sarah."   
  
"You as well, Dean. I've heard alot about you." She commented.  
  
Dean raised an eyebrow at her, then glanced over at Castiel. "Is that right?" He asked.  
  
"Oh, yeah. But it's nothing bad. She reassured him.  
  
He chuckled, "okay, just making sure." He shoved his hands in his pockets and rocked on his heels. "Well I gotta make the fifteen minute drive back to the shop." He said back away from the desks. "I'll see you tonight?" He smiled. Of course you'll see him tonight, dumbass! You live in the same house.  
  
"Yeah." Castiel answered with a smirk.  
  
"Oh my God, Cas! Where did you find him?" Is all Dean heard when he disappeared into the hallway. He smiled at the secretary as he passed the office to exit the building.

* * *

  
"I'm just saying, I get off at 11:30 Friday if you want my help moving shit. I'll be happy too. We'll use Sam's truck again." Jo threw her arms in the air. "Or hell! Even Benny's if Sam's on call that day."  
  
"Yeah I appreciate it, Jo. I do, but it's October. Ben's not gonna get placed with me for a few more months. Probably not until February or March of next year. So there's no point in doing it right now."  
  
"Hey," she said trying to get him to shut up. "Would you rather do it now? Or would you rather do it with snow and ice on the fucking ground?"  
  
"Now." He agreed.  
  
"Alright, i'll over at noon on Friday. Should I ask Benny? You've done alot for him, i'm sure he'd like to repay the favor."  
  
"Yeah, go ahead." Dean told her.  
  
It was going on three o'clock, and Dean had just clocked out for the day. He was heading out the door when Bobby stopped him. Oh my God! What does he want? I'm tired, I wanna get home to Cas. "Yeah?" Dean asked as he stepped into Bobby's office on the second floor.  
  
"Do you have money for that boy's bed?"   
  
"Damn it, Jo!" He muttered to himself. "Bobby, I really appreciate you helping with everything but-"  
  
"No way in hell," Bobby cut him off, "am I gonna not help get you ready for when this hooligan comes to live with you. I'm helping you buy a bed, son. Don't be a pain in the ass." He explained.  
  
Dean let out a heavy and threw his hands up in surrender. "Okay."  
  
"Okay, now that we've established that. What kind of bed were you wanting?" Bobby asked pulling a wad of money from his pocket.  
  
"I don't know we were just gonna buy a queen so he'd grow into eventually." Dean told him. "It's like two hundred at Walmart..and I was just gonna get a bed set to throw on it real quick, nothing fancy."  
  
Bobby handed him three bills and Dean crammed the into his pocket before Bobby pulled him into a hug. "Thanks, man." Dean whispered close to the older man's ear.  
  
Bobby slapped his shoulder as he pulled away with a smile, "don't mention it." Bobby rushed him out the door. "Now get outta here, ya damn idjit! You clocked out ten minutes ago!" Dean laughed and mumbled under his breath all the way to the car.

* * *

  
"Cas!" Dean hollered as he walked through the door tossing his keys on the end table. No answer. "Cas?" He called, poking his head in the kitchen. He's not in there. He checked all the rooms and headed toward his room when he noticed the office door was cracked. It was never open, Dean always shut it. Dean pushed the door open, found him.  
  
Castiel was packing up the little things like, books, important paperwork, stuff hanging on the walls. He had at least five boxes stacked against the wall already.  
  
"What're you doing in here?" Dean asked curiously. Normally he'd be furious if someone was in here fucking with his shit, but it was Cas, so he let it slide.  
  
Castiel shrugged and looked up at him from the floor, "nothing just getting a head start on clearing this room out." He closed the box he was working on and stood up, carrying it to the wall. "Sorry I didn't ask, I should've. Do you want me to stop?" He asked before picking up anything else.  
  
Dean shook his head. "No. No, babe. You're fine. Keep doing what you're doing, i'm glad you started on it because I never would've."  
  
"Okay, good." He kissed him real quick and smiled. "Do you wanna help me? I don't know where you want this stuff. It's like old car manuals and stuff." He pointed over his shoulder to the wall. "I took the stuff off the walls, I left your diploma out just incase you didn't want it boxed and put in the basement.  
  
Dean nodded and picked up a few boxes turning toward the door. "What's in the basement? Before I go putting all this shit down there.." He asked.  
  
Castiel furrowed his brow, shook his head and gave Dean a slight shrug. "I don't know, you could sit it in that corner away from the bar." He suggested.  
  
"Okay." Dean said before disappearing down the hall.   
  
Cas stood there for a minute brainstorming how to get the desk out of the room it was a moderate size desk, Dean might've turned it on it's side to fit it through the door. He heard Dean whistling as he walked down the hall. He stepped in the room and grabbed two boxes and walked out. "Dean, what do you want me to do with this desk?"  Castiel hollered.   
  
"I don't know, give me a minute!"  
  
About five minutes passed, Dean was running down the hall, "sell it. I don't give a fuck." He blurted out hanging on the top of the door frame.  
  
Castiel was taken aback by Dean's curt response. He furrowed his brow and tilted his head. "Dean...that's Mary's desk. I thought you wanted t-"  
  
"I don't care! Throw it out, sell it, I don't fucking care." Dean blurted out.  
  
Castiel just stared at him for a long time. "What's wrong with you? Why are you acting like that?" He asked, rubbing Dean's back.  
  
"I don't-" Dean sighed heavily, burying his face in Castiel's neck. "I don't know." He mumbled against Cas' skin.  
  
"You wanna stop and talk about it?" Cas asked softly, swaying from side to side with Dean in his arms, "i'll listen.."  
  
Dean shook his head and backed away after a couple of minutes. "I just wanna get these boxes down there."  
  
Castiel finished packing the box he was working on then helped Dean carry the last of the to the basement. They'd save the big stuff for later, when they had more people to help them.  
  
After both of them had showers, Castiel finally climbed into bed next to Dean and scooted closer to him. "Thanks for bringing my wallet to school today.." He said softly, he didn't know if Dean was still in his shitty mood from earlier.  
  
"You're welcome." He turned his head to smile at the dark headed man next to him.  
  
"I was so hungry too." He explained.  
  
"Yeah? The teacher? Uh, uh, what the fuck was her name? Sabrina?" Dean stammered.  
  
"Sarah.." Cas corrected with a smirk.  
  
"She said something when I walked out the door today." He looked at Cas for an explanation.  
  
"Oh, she uh, asked me where I found you, she thought you were cute."  
  
Dean scoffed, "did you tell her I found you? Well Sam found you, but he pawned you off on me. Which I was totally okay with, because damn!"  
  
Castiel slapped his arm. "Stop it!" He ordered with a laugh.  
  
Dean kissed him softly. It lingered for a second, Cas pulled away slowly and smiled at Dean before sliding under the mess of blankets. He leaned over to shut the bedside lamp off, then situated himself next to Dean. "I love you, asshole." Castiel said in a loud whisper.  
  
Dean laughed and punched Castiel's bicep, "why am I an asshole?"  
  
"Because you do shit like that." He explained. Dean shoved him playfully and Castiel's hand hit his face, then he pulled Dean in and kissed him once more. "Go to sleep, stupid."  
  
"I love you." Dean told him.  
  
"I know, shut up."

* * *

  
Neither Melissa or Kevin have called in over a week. Dean was starting to get a little worried about it. He was pacing the living room staring at his phone that sat on the coffee table.   
  
Castiel just walked in from the backyard and stopped in the doorway watching him for a minute. "Everything alright?" He asked.  
  
Dean jumped a little and clutched his chest in fear. "Cas! Were you standing there the whole time?" Cas shook his head. The pacing stopped and Dean stroked his scruffy chin. "No one's called in over a week.." He said, flicking his worried green eyes at the other man and biting his bottom lip out of nervousness.  
  
"Calm down." Cas instructed. "We'll see Kevin tomorrow at four o'clock."  
  
"What?" Dean asked, sounding confused. "How do you know that? Did one of them call you?"  
  
Castiel nodded, "he wants to talk about Ben. Then he said that he needs to give us more personal paperwork, like medical records and birth certificates and all that shit."  
  
Dean let of a sigh of relief and ran a hand through his hair. "Okay, good." He stood there silent, eyeing Cas. "Can you believe it? We're getting a kid!" He chuckled softly. "What do you think he'll be like?" Dean marveled, Castiel could see his eyes light up.  
  
"Well, we have his file. Let's take a look." He suggested going in the other room to grab the two folders on Dean's dresser. He came back and waved Dean into the kitchen to sit at the table with him.  
  
Castiel scattered the papers across the table and Dean's eyes darted excitedly across all the information. His stopped to admire the picture of the dark haired little boy, a smile turned up at the corner of his lips.  
  
"He likes cars and fishing and video games." Cas read from the paper in his hand. His finger scanned down the page and he smiled, "his best memory is when he went to the zoo with his second grade class."  
  
"So, he likes the zoo?"  
  
Cas shot him a look. "Well, not necessarily." He paused for a few beats studying Dean's facial expression. "Just because his fondest memory is going to the zoo with his class, don't mean he likes the zoo pre se." He tapped the table with his fingers and shrugged. "Who knows? He might...what? Did you have something in mind?"   
  
"I was thinking maybe, we could take him to the zoo when we get to visit him with a caseworker." Dean suggested.  
  
Castiel's brow scrunch together and his head tilted to the side. "I don't know, that's alot for a first time meeting, maybe we should go for something more subtle like-" he thought for a minute, "l-like-like ice cream!" He shouted.  
  
Dean winced and glared at him in annoyance before smacking the back of his head. Castiel whimpered and rubbed his head. "You don't need to yell, Cas. I'm sitting right here." He scolded.  
  
"Sorry." He apologized in a quick whisper with a roll of his eyes. God, he could be so dramatic sometimes.  
  
"But yeah," Dean cut in with a nod. "We could go for ice cream."  
  
Dean was looking through all the information on the table studying it carefully. He studied the picture of Ben, his dark eyes and his dark hair and his nose and his ears. He looks like someone I know. Who does he look like? He thought about it, but he couldn't put his finger on it. He tried not to think about it so much.   
  
Cas turned to him and laid his head on Dean's shoulder and ran his fingers through his tawny hair. He peppered his neck and shoulder with light affectionate kisses. "I love you, Dean."  
  
Dean turned his head toward the dark haired man and smiled. "I love you too, Cas." 

* * *

  
Dean stepped out of the house and felt the chilly October wind hit his cheeks. It sent shivers down his spine as he walked to the car, the colorful leaves crunched loudly under his feet as he walked. He knew winter was right around the corner and he was fucking dreading it.   
  
He took Cas to class this morning, he had a few hour classes early this morning and his last class ended at eleven o'clock, so Dean offered to pick him up and they'd drive straight over to Sammy's to pick up his truck before Jo and everyone got to the house to help them move the stuff from Dean's office.  
  
They still hadn't decided whether or not they should sell the desk. If they did, they could pocket a hundred bucks for Ben's room, which was always good. He'd probably like a lot of toys to play with.  
  
Dean sat and waited for Castiel to walk out of the building, when he saw him walk across the grass he turned the key in the ignition and the engine roared to life. He saw Cas smile when he heard the engine, it took him at least thirty more seconds until he was in the car. "Hi." Castiel greeted him with a smile as he shut the door, sliding his bag to the floor next to his feet and shifting in the seat.  
  
"Hey," Dean returned the smile and gave him a chaste kiss before pulling out of the parking lot. "How was class? Learn anything exciting?" Dean grinned.  
  
Castiel scoffed at his question. "You know I don't learn anything unless i'm sitting in a classroom full of small kids."   
  
"Well in that case, you need to hurry up and graduate." Dean teased and gave him a lazy wink.  
  
They pulled in up next to Sammy's house a few minutes later and Dean killed the engine hopping out, Cas followed with a slam of his door.   
  
The two men made their way up the walkway, and their eyes admire the well manicured yard. Dean knocked and waited.  
  
The door open quickly and Dean saw Jessica smiling from ear to ear. "Did Sammy tell you I was coming by to pick up his truck?"  
  
"Yeah, come on in."  
  
They stepped inside and followed her to the kitchen. "So what do you need the truck for?" She asked.  
  
"Oh, we're moving stuff out and moving stuff in." Dean explained.  
  
"Oh, are you guys getting ready for your kid?" She asked with a smile. "Do you know when he gets here?"  
  
"Um, sometime in early 2015. Maybe February or March, we're not sure yet."  
  
Jess reached into a glass bowl that was sitting on the island and handed him the keys to the truck, "that's good. We'll just- you can park your car in Sam's stop for the time being. So it's not out on the street." She offered.  
  
"You wanna park the car after I pull out in his truck? Then we'll leave.." Cas nodded.  
  
By the time they pulled Sam's truck into their driveway Charlie, Jo, and Benny were standing around on the porch. "Jeez, brotha! It's about damn time y'all showed up. We were fixin' to leave. 'Fraid y'all wouldn't show." Benny laughed from the porch as Dean climbed out of the truck.  
  
Dean chuckled and shook his head, "no dude, we were just talking to Jess. Sorry about that Dean walked to the door and slid the key in and unlocking the door. "We got most of the room cleaned out, other than a few shelves and a desk."  
  
"Why do I not believe you?" Jo asked sarcastically as She, Char, and Benny follow Dean and Cas to the back of the house.  
  
"Habit I guess." Dean shrugged. He opened the door and Jo was surprised.  
  
"Ok, you called bullshit." She told him she walked around the other side of the desk and slapped the top of it. "Alright, C. You wanna grab that end and we'll drag this bitch outta here?"  
  
Cas put his fingertips to Jo's chest and stopped her, "whoa! We-" he gestured between him and the guys. "Got this, you two get to buy the bed." The two girls exchanged excited glances with one another. Cas knew. "No, we already picked it out. So go buy bedsheets and pillow cases and all that. Ben likes the cololr blue." He told them.  
  
And with that, Dean handed Charlie the money and a scrap piece of paper with the name of the bed on it and sent them on their way. Dean knew damn well that Jo was good at getting her hands dirty and lifting all that heavy shit, but this fucking desk, man. It took three guys and it still wasn't off the ground.  
  
It took a lot of muscle to get that damn desk out to the front lawn. All three guys were bent over trying to catch their breath. "Dammit!" Dean said as he wiped sweat from his forhead. "I forgot how heavy that desk was."  
  
Benny laugh and opened his mouth like he was about to say something but he was cut off by the ring of Castiel's phone.  
  
"Yeah?" It was Jo.  
  
"Hey uh, we're just now walking out. You wanted the Laguana Queen with the black headboard, black frame. right?" She asked.  
  
"Yes."   
  
"Alright just double checking before we pulled out of the parking lot. See you in ten!" She hung up before he had a chance to said bye. Whatever.  
  
"Girls got the bed. They'll be here in ten, should we just sit and wait? Is there anything else in there that needs carried out?" Cas asked, looking at Dean.  
  
"Uh there's a shelf in there still. I wanted to leave it though, so he'd have somewhere to put his shit." Dean explained as he made his way to the front porch steps and took a seat.  
  
Cas had sent the girls to return Sam's truck and bring the Impala. Dean stopped the two of them before they stepped foot out of his house. The very idea of someone, other than Castiel or himself, driving his car pissed him off to no end. "The hell you are! I don't give a fly fuck if it's five minutes or five days. You're not driving my car! I'll get it, or Cas will. Family or no, I don't trust anyone with her. Sorry Jo, I love you, but you're not touching her." Dean explained, clenching his jaw tightly.  
  
Cas brought a hand down and gently squeezed Dean's shoulder, "alright big guy, that's enough. Calm down."  
  
Dean gave him a once over and released the pent up air that had been in his lungs for over a minute now.  
  
"Give me the keys, i'll go get her." Castiel offered, "You stay her and get this bed together. The girls can help until Benny gets back with all the food." Cas looked between the two girls with a slight smirk forming across his lips. "I know you guys are starving, so we'll feed you before we ship your asses outta here." Dean threw Cas the keys and he thanked the girls before he headed out to Sam's truck.

* * *

  
Cas returned home shortly after in the Impala. He noticed Charlie's car wasn't on the street when he pulled into the driveway. He made his way in the house and the guys almost had the frame of the bed put together. Castiel was impressed, he was only gone maybe forty-five minutes and they already had that much put together. "Wow, that is fucking gorgeous!" He said in amazement as he stood in the doorway.  
  
Dean beamed up at Cas with a blush. "Gee, Cas! I never thought i'd hear you tell me that." He joked with a wink.  
  
"I was talking about the bed, but you're just as gorgeous." Cas grinned. "I like the color. I thought it'd have a matte finish, but I guess I can dig the glossy look." He glanced at Dean for his opinion.  
  
"Yeah," he said running his palm across the sleek, glossy headboard. "I like it too, they got a dark blue bedset for it."  
  
Benny stood on his feet after he put the last of the bolts and screws in place. "Is the mattress out there?" He asked, gesturing to the hallway.  
  
Cas waved a hand over his left shoulder, "it's out in the livingroom. You need help?" Cas asked walking out into the living room. Benny didn't even answer, he just followed behind Cas to the other room and helped him with the heavy box.  
  
They dropped the box in the middle of the floor, Careful not to smash Dean's fingers, as he was still seated on the floor. Benny started cutting the box open, then Dean stood up. "Hey man, why don't you head home?" He suggested to the other man. "Andrea will probably start to worry if you're not back before a decent time." He chuckled.  
  
"You sure, brotha? It won't take but just a minute." Benny explained.   
  
Dean nodded and slapped a hand on the other man's shoulder. "I'm sure." He said with a smile. "Me and Cas got this."  
  
"Alright, we'll i'm glad I could help you out, brotha."  
  
"I apprieate it, Benny."  
  
"No problem." He said, as he headed for the door. He turned to give Dean a quick waved he turned back and patted Castiel's back as he exited into the long narrow hallway. "See ya, Cas."  
  
"Good night, Benny." He gave the man a smiled before he turned the corner. When he heard the front door shut the sighed and wiping his forehead with the back of his hand. "You ready for this?" Cas asked opening the box that contained the mattress.  
  
"Might as well get it over with. So I can go the fuck to sleep. I'm about to pass out."   
  
A half hour later both of them were in bed. Dean was already passed out beside Cas, snoring loudly. He swore Dean was just as loud as a goddamn freight train. He must've gotten that trait from John because he told Cas that Mary *never* snored like that.  
  
Castiel shimmied under the covers and turned off the lamp he was using to read. Ben's bedroom was all cleared out. Nothing in there but a bed and a few shelves. Cas knew that there was nothing else left in there to do, besides paint the walls but they wouldn't do that just yet. So the room was left untouched and the door stayed shut until Ben arrived.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think i'm going post chapters six and seven at the same time bc if i don't this fic will never get finished.


	6. Monitored Visits

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i finally finished chapter six, after almost a year. i am extremely sorry for taking so long. i've been so busy with work, i haven't had a day off since Christmas and i'm in Florida right now on vacation, so what better time to finish this chapter. i'm going to do my best to work on chapter seven (which i've already started) more often until this entire thing is completely finished. again, i'm extremely from the bottom of my heart sorry it took me this long to update.

This is it.  
  
This is the day that Dean and Cas get to finally meet Ben. They've been waiting for this. They made sure to clear their schedules and take off work. Cas let his Professors at KU know two days before hand that he wouldn't be attending class, but mostly he just discussed the matter with Professor Crowley since his class is the only one he really took an interest in and of course Bobby would give Dean the day off for something as important as this.  
  
Dean was sitting in the driver's seat, tapping the steering wheel nervously, "dude! Just go al-fucking-ready! We're gonna be late with you just sitting there!" Cas told him.  
  
Dean sighed, "I-I-I can't, Cas! I'm too fucking nervous!" He glanced over in the passenger seat at Cas. "You drive." He suggested.  
  
Castiel gave him an apologetic look for getting loud with him seconds earlier. "Alright, slide over and take a breather, baby. Calm down." Dean slide across the leather seats and Castiel climbed over him. That's one reason (of many) Dean loved his car. The seats. He didn't have to fuck around and get out to let the person, who want to drive in the seat. He could just slide over. It took two literally half a second to slide over to the wheel, opposed to climbing out and running around the car. Also He could have Castiel nestled right up against him as he drove. He prefered to drive his Baby rather than driving Castiel's piece of plastic. The bucket seats posed quite a goddamn problem. As did the stick shift and seat belts. Dean hated them to no end.  
  
Castiel ran a hand through Dean's short hair as he backed out of the driveway and drove down the street, heading toward downtown to get on the interstate.  
  
While driving, Cas kept focusing his eyes back and forth between Dean and the road. Every time he'd look over at Dean he was either, bouncing his leg (that was a nervous habit of his) or chewing his nails, or fidgeting with his fingers. Castiel reached over and place his hand over top of Dean's and stilled his movements. "Calm down." He soothed glancing at Dean for a second.  
  
"I can't calm down, Cas!" Dean argued, raised his voice a little in the tight space of the car. "What if he doesn't like us? What if we run out of things to talk about? What should even talk about?" He asked frantically.  
  
"He's been thrown around the system since he was a week old, Dean. He's been waiting for someone to adopt him. He has to like us, whether he wants to or not. I bet that's all he's ever wanted is a caring, loving, stable family to call his own." Cas explained looking at him. "And he's a kid, that's what kids do. They talk. Nonstop. About nothing. I know first hand, i'm a teacher for crying out loud!"   
  
"Teacher's aid." Dean corrected with a slight smirk.  
  
"I'm going to be a teacher soon enough though." He smiled. "You'll be fine, you have nothing to worry about. It'll go great."  
  
Pulling into the parking lot, Cas killed the engine. This is it. Dean and Castiel looked at each other and exhaled deeply. "Well, let's not keep the kid waiting." Dean suggested. Both of them climbed out of the car and the doors shut in sync as they made their way into the building.  
  
They entered the building and told the  receptionist they were there to see Kevin Tran, she buzzed them through the door and they walked back to his office in the back of the long hallway. Castiel knocked lightly and waited a few seconds. The door swung open with a quickness and it startled Cas. "Hey guys! Glad to see you again. Come on in." Kevin waved them in, shutting the door behind them.  
  
Kevin sat on the edge of his desk. "Today is a big day, how do you guys feel?" He asked folding his hands in his lap.  
  
Castiel smiled. "Equally nervous and excited."   
  
Kevin chuckled, "yeah, that's normal with some, if not all of our clients. The kids get riled up and overly excited as well." He paused and stood. "What do you say we go meet Ben?"  
  
Both of them followed Kevin down to the hallway. Dean clutched tightly to Castiel's right arm. Thank God he didn't eat a huge breakfast before he left the house, otherwise Kevin would be wearing it. But still, the protein bar he had while he waited for Cas to shower felt like it was going to come up anyway. For the first time since he had started this entire thing, he'd always walk passed the play area. It was always empty. Until they turned the corner. Dean got to see what he wanted since he came in for the second homestudy way back in May; kids playing behind the glass. It made his face light up and Castiel couldn't help but notice, he grinned at Dean's expression.  
  
Kevin gently knocked on the glass drawing a woman's attention. Dean and Castiel stood a respective distance behind him and waited. The woman pushed the door open after a few seconds. "Hello, Kevin." She greeted him with a polite smile. She noticed the two men standing behind him. "Is that them? Ben's getting so excited to meet them."  
  
Kevin laughed and nodded, "good afternoon, Bela. That is them, indeed. They are just as nervous and excited as Ben is. I can assure you. Would you go grab him for me please?" He asked.  
  
"Sure, just give me a second." She said as she stepped away from the door letting it close behind her. She walked across the linoleum floor, the heels of her (from the looks of it, very expensive) dress shoes click-clacking underneath her. She disappeared behind a set of heavy oak doors making her way in the playroom. Dean watched as she leaned toward one of the staff members that was in charge of the children, she must be asking of Ben's whereabouts. He could see as the younger girl motioned, Bela he thinks her name was? He couldn't remember..to the the big red slide that had a few kids crawling around inside. Out popped Ben's dark head of hair. Dean's heart pounded away loudly in his ears. In just a few minutes, that little boy would walk through that door to meet his new family.  
  
As soon as Dean saw the heavy oak doors open once more. His heart fluttered as he watched the kid cross the floor with the older woman.  
  
Bela opened the door and Kevin lead the men behind him inside. Ben stood a few feet from them now, grinning wildly. His dark eyes sparkling in excitement in the overhead light.   
  
Castiel sot best to stop where they were currently standing until further notice.  
  
Ben tapped Kevin's arm to get his attention. He smiled down at the boy and waited for a response.  
  
"Are they like...together?" He asked with a blush.  
  
Kevin laughed. "They are in fact together."  
  
Ben couldn't help but giggle at the fact that the guy with the freckles and the guy with the dark hair were together. Like together, together. But hey! At least they were safe from girl cooties. "I like them." He said, speaking up so Kevin could hear him.  
  
"Come on," Kevin said reaching out his arm. "I'll introduce you." Ben nearly ran two feet to them, but he decided to slow his roll, he didn't want to scare them away.  
  
_Oh, God! Oh God! Calm the fuck down, Winchester! He's just a kid. You're gonna freak him out!_   Dean took a deep breath and looked at Cas, who just so happened to look back.  
  
"Ben, i'd like you to meet Dean and Castiel Winchester. Dean, Castiel, meet Ben."  
  
"Hi, uh...uh..sorry, your name is hard to remember." He admitted looking up at Castiel.  
  
"Um, Castiel." He said, quickly. "Or just- j-just Cas is fine! Hello, nice to meet you." Cas smiled.  
  
Castiel watched the young boy mouth his name as he looked at Dean. "Hello, Dean. Your name is much easier to say than his." He smiled, pointing to Cas. "I like your shirt." He added, eyeing the worn out, faded Metallica shirt under Dean's red and blue plaid button up.  
  
"Five seconds and I already like you." Dean grinned. "My name is also way cooler than his." Dean joked with a chuckle.  
  
Ben smiled from ear to ear looking up at both Dean and Cas. He was really excited about this new family thing.   
  
"Where do you even work at?" Ben asked after he had finished chewing the mouthful of fries he had. "Both of you? Do you have a job too, Cas?"  
  
"I do!" Dean said with a nod. "I work in a car garage. My uncle owns it." He told him. "I usually just work on the classic old cars- like my Baby over there." Dean gestured toward the parking lot where his Impala was sitting.  
  
They decided that since the three of them haven't eaten yet, that they'd go for lunch somewhere special. Ben chose Chik-Fil-A, he mentioned it was his favorite because the fries looked like "someone smashed potatoes in a waffle iron" and that's how they get potato waffles.   
  
"What about you, Cas?"  
  
Cas smiled, "I'm going to school to become a teacher."  
  
"Whoa, you're in school too? Grown ups still go to school? What's your favorite subject?" Ben asked, sounding very interested in Castiel all the sudden. "My favorite is spelling!" He said proudly with a smile.  
  
Castiel nodded, "yes. My school is huge!" He stretched his arms out wide to demonstrate. "My favorite subject? That would be reading. I love to read. Your favorite is spelling? Are you good at spelling?" He asked. Dean detected a bit of a joking tone, he chuckled.   
  
"Yes, give me a word." Ben suggested. "A big one."  
  
Dean laughed and sipped his drink then nodded. "Reason."  
  
"Reason, R-E-A-S-O-N."  
  
"Spell..unbelievable." Castiel ask.  
  
He watched Ben mouth the word, trying to break it down in his head before he said it aloud. "Unbelievable.." Ben said the word aloud, "use it in a sentence, please?" He asked, scrutching his face a little.  
  
"Uh," Castiel thought. "Oh!" He said suddenly. "The amount of freckles Dean has is unbelievable." He looked over at the green eyed man and noticed he was blushing.   
  
He heard a giggle from across the table before Ben began to spell his word. "Unbelievable. U-N..B-E-L-E...A-V-E-A-B-L-E." He finished, feeling sure of himself.  
  
"Close!" Dean said, "you spelled it, leave. Like "i'm leaving, see ya." It's spelled, L-I-E-V. The word "lie" is in the middle of it." He explained.  
  
"So the way it's actually spelled is U-N-B-E-L-I-E-V-A-B-L-E." Castiel corrected before taking a bite out of his sandwich. "What do you do Ben? For fun, I mean...what do you like to do for fun?"   
  
"I do a lot of things, I like playing video games. I like playing outside games mostly, but video games are fun when it's raining outside. I like to fish, I like taking things apart so I can put them back together, I like cars and music too, and I eat a lot." Dean noticed that the boy started to blush as soon as he finished, maybe it was embarrassment about eating a lot. He was a growing boy. No shame in eating a lot. Dean certainly had no room for judgement there.  
  
"Hey, man." Dean said with a chuckle, as he shook his head. "Why're you turning red? Embarrassed?" Ben nodded. "About what?" Dean continued.  
  
"Because I like to eat..." Ben mumbled.  
  
Cas laid his large hand over Ben's much smaller one and scoffed. "Do not feel embarrassed because you like to eat." He told him. "One time, Dean's brother's, wife made an apple pie and we were going to have it after dinner one night." Dean snickered behind his hand, he remembered eating that entire pie. "I came home from work and it was gone, the whole thing. Guess who ate it?" Castiel paused and Ben followed Cas' finger until his eyes landed on Dean. "He did." Cas said sarcastically.  
  
Dean nodded. "It's true, then I ate two sleeves of Oreo's in one sitting while we watched The Dark Knight."  
  
"Sometimes he's a bottomless pit." Cas joked.   
  
"Did you get in trouble after you ate the pie by yourself?" Ben asked, giggling.  
  
"No, he was just mad I didn't share it with him." Dean glanced at Cas and smiled.  
  
The three of them sat at the table in the corner a little while longer as they finished up their lunch.  
  
Soon it was time for Ben to leave. Cas walked out of the restaurant with his arm draped over Ben's shoulder. "What do you want to do next time we see each other, kiddo?" Dean asked, walking beside him.  
  
Ben shrugged, "I don't know."  
  
"It can be anything you want." Dean told him and he waited for an answer. "As long as it's not parachuting or skydiving from a giant hunk of metal whirling through the air." Dean added quickly in a joking tone, but he was dead serious.  
  
"He's afraid of planes." Cas whispered toward Ben.  
  
"What about the zoo?" Ben asked. Dean deadpanned. He owed Cas dinner and twenty bucks because he bet him that Ben didn't like zoos. Cas shot Dean a "I Told You So" look and winked at him.   
  
Dean glared at him for a few long seconds only to look down and flash a toothy smile at the dark haired boy walking between them, "sure buddy, we can go. We should probably get there early, don't you think?" Dean asked. "We'll pack a lunch. Full of junk food, the good stuff." Ben nodded.  
  
The three of them approached Kevin's Cadillac as he was climbing out of it. "Hey, Ben. Did you have a nice time?"  
  
"Kevin, we're going to the zoo next time! I can't wait!" Ben shrieked in excitement.   
  
"Wow, I can't believe that. That's awesome."  
  
Kevin stepped back to the rear driver's side door and leaned against the hood. "I hope the two of you had a nice time as well?" He asked.  
  
Dean chuckled and nodded. "Yeah, man. I mean, I know it wasn't much. And it probably wasn't fun for him. Hell! Maybe boring. Who knows? But yeah, we-we had a great time." He admitted proudly.  
  
"I'm glad to hear that. It doesn't have to be much really..it doesn't really matter if you take these kids to the park or a Bronco's game, all they really want is bonding time with the family. It's enough, believe it or not." He turned and locked eyes with Ben. "Well, you ready to head back?" Kevin asked,  Ben nodded and Kevin opened the rear door so he could climb in. He shut the door once Ben was inside and slapped the roof once, twice. "Buckle up." He ordered. Ben did just so.  
  
"So zoo? Did you have a certain day you wanted to go?" Kevin asked.  
  
"We're not sure just yet. We'll have to see." Cas spoke up, cutting Dean off as he opened his mouth to speak.  
  
"Okay, we'll give me a call when you figure something out. You'll have him in a different city, so the agency needs to make note of that, also a worker, probably myself, will call to check in every few hours or so. So keep your phone handy that day." Kevin instructed.  
  
"Don't you have to be with us, when we're with him?" Cas asked. He was positive someone from the agency had to be with the child at all times. That was the entire point of monitored visits, someone had to watch them while they were with Ben.  
  
"Yes but, it seems so personal, I wouldn't want to intrude." Kevin insisted.   
  
"Bullshit," Dean laughed. "Your his case worker, Kevin." Dean reminded him. "If you have to be with him, you have to be with him. We'll pay for a fourth ticket, you can dump our asses at the gate. Bring someone along, girlfriend, maybe?" Dean suggested.  
  
"Alright. Just let me know whenever."   
  
"Casual dress code. Wear comfortable walking shoes and extra cash for souvenirs." Dean said as Kevin climbed behind the wheel. "Call us if something comes up."   
  
"Will do." Kevin said shutting the door and starting the car. He pulled out of the parking lot and headed toward the agency.  
  
"When do I get to live with them, Kevin? I really hope it's soon! I really like them, they're nice to me." Ben said making eye contact with Kevin in the rear view mirror.  
  
He was glad Ben liked the two of them, he thought back to Ben's last foster family and a shudder ran through him as he remembered the bruises and the cuts all over that happy little boy in the back seat. He didn't deserve that. Hell! No kid deserves that. Kevin knows he selected the right family for Ben. He smiled at the thought of Ben starting a new happy life with the Winchester's but it slowly faded as he remembered after he packed up and moved in with them that he was no longer going to see him again. That's how sure he was of Dean and Cas.   
  
Kevin was the case worker of a lot of other kids throughout the agency, but Benjamin Braeden was special to him. Whenever he'd see that smiling face, his day would brighten just a bit more. Ben had a good personality and he was soft hearted, kind, and real smart. Kevin liked that about him.  
  
Kevin just smiled, it reflected in the rear view mirror. "Soon." He told him.  
  


* * *

  
  
Every time they had something going on with Ben, Ellen insisted on having a family get together so they could talk about it as a family. Which the both of them were okay with.  
  
Dean didn't mind it. In fact, he loved that Ellen did this but, he preferred if Ben were there with them. Like Dean and Cas were hoping he'd be within the next month.  
  
"Ellen!" Dean hollered as he and Cas walked straight through the front door without even so much as a knock.   
  
"Kitchen!"  
  
Dean and Cas stumbled into the kitchen and Ellen turned around to the sound of feet tripping over each other with a wide grin. "So, how'd it go?" She asked clasping her hands together.  
  
"Nope, nope! Uh uh!" Dean shook his head violently. "Don't tell her, Cas." He put a hand on Castiel's chest. "Wait until everyone gets here. Then we'll tell you." Dean said excitedly.  
  
An hour passed and almost everyone was at the house. They were just waiting on Charlie and Anna, they were due to walk through the back gate any minute now. Bobby was still on the grill and everyone was outside.  
  
"He's going to erupt any minute. He's gonna spill the beans and the girls aren't even here yet!" Jo complained.   
  
"Just be patient I texted them, they should be on their way shortly." Castiel said.  
  
"Food's ready, everyone go get a plate. They should be here by then." Bobby hollered as he shut the grill and carried a plate of meat to the kitchen.  
  
All of them filed into the kitchen all at once. It was crowded as they all stacked their plates with food. That's when the front door opened. "We're here!" Anna said as she stumbled to the kitchen, her arms full of grocery bags and a case of beer.  
  
Sam stepped to her aid, grabbing the case of beer from her hands before she sat the abundance of bags on the counter. “Sorry it took us so long, you know how Walmart is….busy as fuck and there’s only one damn check out open.” She explained with a roll of her eyes.  
  
"Well now that you're here, let's get plates and shit, they have something they want to tell us." Sam said as he gestured over his shoulder to Dean and Cas.  
  
All it took was ten minutes for everyone to get their food and head outside. There was no room left at the picnic table so Sam and Jo took the fold out chairs and crowded around the table with their plates in their laps.  
  
"Okay! Spill already! I can't wait any long!" Jo shrieked in excitement.  
  
Dean laughed at glared at her.  
  
“Did you guys have a nice time?” Ellen asked as she sipped her iced tea.  
  
Cas grinned and looked at Dean then back at Ellen. "Yeah, he's fantastic. He's really talkative and he's a great speller."  
  
"We're going to the waterpark next week. He's excited." Dean beamed.  
  
"Oh! That'll be fun. He'd probably really enjoy that." Ellen said.  
  
Anna frowned. "You can't do that, can you? The closest water park is out of town... You can't take them passed city limits can you?"  
  
"You can't," Castiel shoved a piece of meat in his mouth before finishing. "But his social worker is tagging along..so it's totally okay."  
  
It was getting kind of late so the two of them decided to head home for the night. They said goodnight to Ellen and Bobby and thanked them for dinner and went on their way.  
  
“Do you think he’ll like living with us?” Castiel asked from the bed while reading his book. Dean was in the bathroom brushing his teeth.  
  
“Why wouldn’t he, Cas?”  
  
Castiel shrugged and continued chewing before answering. "I don't know, usually kids hate the foster parents that they're placed with."  
  
Dean's eyes widened in horror. "What if he hated us?" He asked.  
  
"He obviously doesn't, Dean." Cas reassured him.  
  


* * *

  
  
Their next visit with Ben was three weeks later.  
  
Dean had been texting Kevin for awhile to make sure everything was set for the zoo.  
  
Kevin made arrangements to pick Ben up before meeting the Winchester's in the zoo parking lot.   
  
Ben waited until Kevin turned the car off before he jumped out. "Dean, Cas!" He shouted in excitement as he attacked them both with hugs.   
  
"Hey, kiddo!" Dean greeted with a smile and ruffled his dark hair.   
  
"I'm so excited about today! We're gonna have *soo* much fun!" He explained.  
  
Kevin shut the car door and made his way over to Dean's car.   
  
"Have any trouble explaining this to the agency?" Cas asked him as he left Dean and Ben to their own conversation.   
  
Kevin shrugged, "not really, they told me just as long as i'm with him it should be fine."  
  
"Pack a lunch?"   
  
"Yeah, one for me and one for Ben." Kevin said. "S'in the cooler." He said as he pat the top of the cooler slung over his shoulder.  
  
Cas nodded. "You can leave that in the car 'til lunch if you want, we can go back in, they stamp your hand." He explained. "Just toss it in the back," he said as he popped the trunk. "We'll come out to eat later."  
  
"Cas, Cas, Cas." Dean said to get his attention. "Don't forget to fill the small cooler with drinks and snacks." Dean chuckled. "Me and, uh, Ben over here, will get hungry watching the animals." He joked and threw his arm around Ben's shoulder. "Right, Ben?" He asked looking down at the boy.  
  
"Right, Dean." He laughed.  
  
"I'm dating a giant man-child." Cas muttered under his breath as he filled the cooler with snacks and drinks.  
  
Kevin chuckled.  
  
"Ben, you like Gatorade?" Cas looked up from the trunk.  
  
"I _love_ Gatorade, Cas!" It almost sounded sarcastic. Cas just smiled and shook his head before zipping the cooler and shutting the trunk.  
  
"We ready?" Dean asked looking around.  
  
Ben nodded and locked arms with Dean and Castiel. "Ready!"  
  
Kevin followed beside them as they walked to the front gate.  
  


* * *

  
  
The zoo closed at 4:30. So they decided to leave a half hour early because traffic was a hellish nightmare.  
  
The zoo wore Ben out, walking around all day, looking at the animals and spending time with Dean and Castiel. He had a blast, which his why he passed out as soon as Dean settled him in the the back seat of Kevin's car.  
  
"Thanks for coming with us today, Kevin. Cas and I really appreciate it." Dean began as he shut the door.  
  
"Any time, Dean. Ben really enjoyed himself today."   
  
Dean moved foward and leaned against the window to the front passenger side. "I have a question."  
  
"Shoot."  
  
"How many times do we get to visit with him?" Dean asked. "I mean before he actually gets placed with us..."  
  
"Usually the maximum number of visits is three. You live a few miles away, so it depends how much time you're willing to take for the drive to Overland Park."  
  
Dean nodded, "okay, and when we do get him, after the adoption's final, do you guys still check up on things? For like the first week or so?"  
  
"I'll come by every so often to see how everything's going, yes." Kevin nodded.  
  
"Alright," Dean tapped the roof of the car. "We'll see you soon then." He said with a smile.  
  
"Alright," Kevin repeated as he started the car. "I know he's looking forward to it."  
  
Dean made his way back to the Impala as Castiel loaded everything in the trunk before he climbed into the passenger side.  
  
Cas stretched his arm across the seat and carded his fingers through Dean's short hair as they pulled out of the parking lot of the zoo. "You'd have fun today?" He asked.  
  
Dean turned to glance at Cas, flashing him a smile before his eyes returned to the road. "Yeah, I had a great time, you?"  
  
"Yeah," Cas huffed a laugh and he massaged the back of Dean's neck. "It seem's like everyone really enjoyed themselves."  
  
"We did all right, I can't believe Ben passed out..." Dean laughed. "S'probably gonna sleep all the way back home."

* * *

  
  
"Well have you even asked him where he'd like to go next time?" Anna asked as she sat on the island swinging her feet, eating the pretzels she snagged from the cabinet when  she entered the kitchen with Dean.  
  
"No, I--" Dean sighed. "It didn't even cross my mind."   
  
"So just call Kevin and have him ask." Anna mumbled around a mouthful of pretzels.  
  
"If I do that, he's gonna come up with some crazy shit, like 'can we go on a tour to NASA' the kids aren't allowed to go out of the city, but Kevin pulled a few string last time, that's why Ben got to go to the zoo."  
  
"Or maybe you just go for something simple like the park? He's a kid Dean, he'll like the park, he just wants to spend time with you is all, that's the whole point of these visits, am I right?" Dean nodded. "And maybe a few weeks after the adoption gets finalized, you can do something extravagant."  
  
Dean was about to open his mouth o say something, but was interrupted when Cas walked in the front door.   
  
"Dean?" He called upon entering, turning the corner into the kitchen he saw Dean and his sister in the room. "Oh, hey sis."  
  
She turned her body slightly and waved to him. "Hey."  
  
Castiel tossed his bag on the kitchen table before he crossed the room to get to Dean, who was currently leaning against the counter. "Hey, how was class?" Dean asked before Cas leaned in to steal a quick kiss from him.  
  
"It was alright," he started. "Took a shit load of notes in both classes."  
  
Dean nodded. "Sounds like you had a blast." He joke with a grin.  
  
Cas huffed a laugh and rolled his eyes. "Yeah."  
  
"Oh, Cas!" Anna called out of thin air, making Castiel jump a little. He turned to look at her, "tell, Dean that the park is a perfect place to go with Ben."   
  
"Why would it be?" He asked serious and turned to look at the other man?"  
  
"The last two meetings were great, but what if he doesn't want to go to the park?" Dean asked.   
  
"So what?" Cas shrugged. "Just tell him we'll go somewhere better next time, because y'know? We'll actually be his parents." All the expression fell from Castiel's face." Wait, you do remember that we're in the process of adopting him, right?" Cas teased with a laugh as he nudged Dean shoulder.  
  
Dean chuckled, "how could I ever forgot?" He asked.  
  
"After that, we can go wherever we want and we won't have to worry about the agency." Castiel explained. "I'm sure Ben won't mind."

* * *

  
Two weeks, Dean and Castiel are on the road once again, headed to Overland Park, this time, to complete the Adoption Assistance Agreement.  
  
"You're almost to your seventh step, once your last visit with Ben, the both of you are one step closer to being parents." Kevin explained.  
  
"That's great, we'll go to the park this time." Dean explained.  
  
"That's a great choice, pack a lunch you can have a picnic." He suggested.  
  
Dean nodded and headed out the door with Cas in tow.  
  
"Man, oh my god, this is so exciting!" Dean excitedly as they made their way to the car to head home.  
  
"I know." Cas with a smile.  
  
"How long do you think it'll be before he gets placed?" Dean asked.  
  
"A few days, weeks even."   
  
Dean's smile faltered a little as he looked over at Castiel. "I've waited so long for this, though." He pouted.  
  
"I know," Castiel replied and squeezed his hand gently. "And you've done so good so far, what's a little longer, right?"  
  
"Fucking touture. That's what." 

* * *

  
  
Castiel was the first one awake, figured he might as well hop in the shower while Dean was still asleep. He'd wake him up after.  
  
Now dressed and heading into the kitchen after fighting to wake Dean up, he started a pot of coffee.  
  
Cas couldn't believe either of them were awake before twelve on a Saturday. It was rare unless Bobby needed Dean at the shop. Today Dean had a day off.  
  
It was just now half passed twelve when Dean came out of the bedroom.  
  
"It's about time." He said sarcastically. "Were you planning on sleeping the day away?"   
  
Dean blinked. "Is it really that late?"  
  
Cas looked over his shoulder to glance at the clock on the stove. "Yep." He replied, nodding at Dean. "We're supposed to be in Overland Park by three."  
  
"Shit. We better head out then...."  
  
"Waiting on you, princess." Cas teased as he stood up from where he was sitting at the island.  
  
They'd been on the highway for fifteen minutes, radio turned down low, just enough that you could barely hear it, sounded like Def Leopard.  
  
Cas thought about saying something, but decided against it because he didn't want to ruin the comfortable silence, much less make Dean tear his eyes away from the road.  
  
It was good for a little while longer until Cas let out a soft sigh. "So I was thinking," Dean looked over at him for a second, then back at the road. "About what Anna said, maybe we could have a little picnic."  
  
"Awesome! I'm fucking hungry."  
  
They stop at the store once they arrive in Overland Park before they meet up with Ben and Kevin, to pick up a few things for the picnic Castiel mentioned forty five minutes ago on the drive over.  
  
Dean could see Ben bouncing in the back seat of the car as they pulled into the parking space next to Kevin's at the front entrance.   
  
Ben jumped out and ran up to Dean's side of the car before he was finished straightening up his parking job. He was waving excitedly at Dean once he turned the car off.  
  
He climbed out of the car and smiled at the boy. "Hey, Ben." He greeted the boy with a hair ruffle. "Next time, wait until i'm done parking until getting out of the car, I coulda hit you, buddy."  
  
Ben frowned a little. "Okay, sorry about that, i'm just excited to see you." He explained as he ran into Dean and wrapped his arms around his middle, giving him a hug.  
  
Dean laughed and squeezed him a little. "We are too, buddy."  
  
"Who's hungry?" Cas asked as he came around the car with the cooler.  
  
Dean and Ben both raised their hands simultaneously and looked at each other with a grin.  
  
Kevin climbed out of the car and met with all of them so they could head to the back of the park.  
  
"Oh man, Cas, i'm so hungry," Ben explained, rubbing small circles into his belly. "I didn't eat this morning." He finished with a small frown.  
  
"We got subs and stuff from the deli on our way here." Dean hummed in delight.  
  
"Oh, god that sounds so good." Ben cried.  
  
Cas looked down at the boy as a smile crept into his features. "You should always eat breakfast, Ben. It's the most important meal of the day."  
  
"Really?"  
  
Cas nodded and hummed, "yes it is. It's so you'll have enough energy to get through until lunch.  That's why your teacher always tells you to eat a good breakfast before a big test."  
  
They stopped at a playground not too far from the entrance and sat down at the picnic table. Cas began to unload the cooler.  
  
Dean didn't waste anytime digging into his food. Neither did Ben.  
  
Kevin cleared his throat before turning to Ben. "What do you think you'll like best about living with Dean and Castiel, Ben?"  
  
Ben thought on his question for about five seconds. "If they have a big yard i'll be happy." He turned in his seat to look at Castiel. "Do you have a big yard?"   
  
"Yes." He answered after swallowing. "Big yard, there's a lot of kids your age in the neighborhood. I think you'll like it."  
  
"What about school?"  
  
"Well, we were thinking about enrolling you at Deerfield, I'm there sometimes, aiding for the teachers."  
  
"Are you a teacher?"  
  
"Not yet," Dean butted in. "But he will be soon." Dean grinned proudly around his sandwhich.  
  
Ben ran away to the play set after that, leaving the adults to talk amongst themselves.  
  
"So Deerfield?" Kevin asked.  
  
Dean was in the middle of taking a drink when he asked. "Uh, yeah. Well we figured since he teaches there sometimes, and that's where he's getting a job when he graduates in two months, my brother and I went there when we were younger, that it'd be a good idea to enroll him there."  
  
"Awesome choice. I liked that school as well." Kevin smiled. He waited a beat before speaking again. "Are you guys excited as he is for him to come live with you?"  
  
"So excited that we converted my office into a bedroom about two months ago." Dean chuckled.  
  
"Really?" Kevin's eyebrow raised in suprise.  
  
"It's literally all we can talk about." Cas explained. "Our friends and family are excited just as much as we are. They've helped us out a lot with entire thing."  
  
"They must be on board with this whole adoption thing then?"   
  
Cas was going to speak again until Dean cut him off, Cas just smiled politely and waited from Dean to finish. "Well, they were kind of iffy about the whole ordeal, at first."  
  
"But with everything that happened in Dean's past, with Lisa, he just wanted to give it another shot. And they've all been very supportive of his decision."   
  
"Well, i'm glad you decided too," Kevin said, as he looked up and watched Ben on the play set a few feet away. "He doesn't have to bounce around the state anymore." He said with a fond smile.  
  
"How long have you been with him?" He heard Cas ask, and he turned his attention back to the two men sitting across from him.  
  
"Since he was five."  
  
They stayed at the park a little while longer, they took the cooler back to the car a little while ago and decided to explore all the different trails and pathways through out the park.  
  
It was getting dark and Kevin decided it was about time they head back.  
  
Ben had spent the past ten minutes hugging dean and Castiel each and Kevin just waited patiently in the car for him.  
  
Ben pulled away from Dean reluctantly and gave him the saddest look, almost like he was on the verge of crying, "When will be the next time I see you guys?"  
  
Dean knelt down so he was eye level with Ben, and ruffled his dark brown hair. "Hey, hey, man. There's no need to cry. You'll see us soon enough." Dean cooed and gave the boy's shoulder a gentle squeeze. "If fact, the next time you'll see us is when you move in with us." He grinned.  
  
Ben sniffled and wiped the tears from his eyes, "Really?"  
  
Cas nodded and gave him a smile. "Yes."  
  
"Okay."   
  
"Now, stop that crying, and give me another hug before we go." Dean ordered softly.  
  
Ben laughed before taking a deep breath and wiping his eyes with the back of his hand before Dean pulled him into another hug.   
  
"I'm glad we got to spend some time together today, buddy, I had a lot of fun." Dean whispered into the boys shoulder.  
  
"Me too, thank you, Dean."  
  
"You're welcome, Ben." Dean sighed as he pushed himself to stand again and took a step toward the back door of Kevin's car. "Now get in, Kevin wants to get you back before midnight."   
  
Ben climbed in and took his seat and put his seatbelt on. "Okay i'm ready, Kevin."  
  
Dean tapped the hood of the car as he shut the door. "Alrighty, Kevin. Thanks for coming along today, we had a blast."  
  
"My pleasure," he laughed. "You boys stay out of trouble."   
  
"We'll try." Dean laughed.  
  
They waited to leave the parking lot after Kevin drove off.  
  
The two of the climbed in the car a few minutes later and Dean looked over at Cas as he started the engine. "You alright, Cas?" He asked softly with a hand on his shoulder.  
  
Castiel looked at him and smiled with puffy eyes and rosy, tear stained cheeks. "M'fine."  
  
"Cas, were you crying?" Dean's lips began to tug up at the corners into a smug smile.   
  
Castiel bushed and turned away from him.  
  
"C'mere, you big baby!" Dean said pulling the dark haired man closer to him.   
  
Cas slid willingly across the seat and into the crook of Dean's arm. "Why're you crying, honey? Dean asked as he buried his nose in Cas' hair before planting a kiss on his head.  
  
"Ben was crying so I cried."  
  
They were on the instate headed home in no time. Castiel was still cuddled up into Dean's side, their fingers locked together as he drove it was silent until Dean spoke again.  
  
"He'll be with us soon enough, you don't need to worry." Dean reminded him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you're wondering where all the steps (chapter titles) are coming from you can find them [here](http://adopt.org/ten-step-overview)


End file.
